10 Crazy Things Narcissists Think You Owe Them!

Toxic relationships with a sense of entitlement. Anyone who has ever been in the clutches of a toxic relationship knows what gifted manipulators these people are. Like puppeteers, they pull their invisible strings that keep everything and everyone under their control: It is the most important thing for narcissists, and they also quite shamelessly make use of a whole series of psychological sleight of hand to get to their goal.

The personality of a narcissist is complex and hard to explain in a few words. They play their own game with their fellow human beings without ever abiding by any rules. Values such as empathy and compassion are completely alien to them, yet it is often precisely people with these character traits that they choose for their opaque machinations.

Narcissists innately feel superior to their environment. But it goes even further: for some reason they think that the whole world is in their debt. This claim accompanies them through their life and at the same time turns that of their ignorant victims upside down. Their claim relates specifically to the following ten things that we present to you in this article.

1. Undivided attention

For narcissists, life is all one big stage. The rest of us either serve as an admiring audience or as extras. Clearly, therefore, a relationship is always about the main person and never about us. Toxic personalities demand our undivided attention no less than 24 hours a day, or at least whenever it suits them. Like everything related to narcissists, of course, this expectation is a one-way street. If we need attention, we unfortunately have to get it somewhere else.

2. Responsibility for everything

In a toxic relationship, one is basically always right and the other is always accountable for everything. This applies to the common things of everyday life as well as the lives of our narcissistic partners. We are even responsible if there are mishaps or if something goes wrong. Narcissists are true masters at twisting the truth and facts until a version emerges that fits their desired thought patterns.

3. Guilt

They are one of the most important tools that proven narcissists use to keep their balls in the air. Emotional blackmail is the essential strategy of the game. Successfully making other people feel that they are to blame for everything is one of the supreme disciplines of toxic personalities. If we don't have to fight with feelings of guilt per se, these people know very well how to persuade us successfully. To do this, they skillfully scout out our weak points in advance.

4. Time

Narcissists like to dictate the rules over and over again. However, one factor that can be relied upon without reservation, even with them, is their claim to dispose freely of our time. They come and go as they please. Making an appointment or sticking to simple arrangements is clearly beneath them. It is not uncommon for them to show up at our door in the middle of the night to demand their entitlement and, of course, to demonstrate their superiority.

5. Being to blame for everything

How convenient it must be for narcissists to always blame others can be vividly imagined. Those who like to hold the reins in their hands truly cannot handle setbacks and defeats. So it comes about that in toxic relationships the unwritten rule applies: someone is always right, the better half is always to blame.

6. Our society

Since narcissists need us mainly to live out their control addiction and to nurture their ego, our society is something like a breeding ground for them. Without an audience, all their performances naturally come to nothing. The biggest mistake we could make is to confuse this need with love or affection. When narcissistic personalities seek our company, it is never about us.

7. Unwavering affection

Even fake relationships or friendships want to be authentically maintained. Narcissists may not want eye-level social interaction, but the illusion of affection would still be just fine with them. Mainly, it is not about real feelings being involved, it is about admiration and the certainty of keeping partners emotionally always available but still on a short leash. For narcissists, affection is like an intoxication, the fleeting nature of which is enjoyed again and again, but is not handled with care or even reciprocated.

8. An open ear around the clock

Toxic people need attention. In their lives and in their world, everything revolves around them and their needs. They like to talk a lot about themselves and their ambitions, even if most of it can be safely banished to the land of fairy tales and legends. Narcissists are masterful at crafting their own vision of the world, and for these visions they need an audience.

Outsiders who are not emotionally entangled in the spider's web of toxic relationships can easily expose these monologues as shooting blanks. A critical interjection would probably be enough to dissolve the colorful fantasy into thin air. That is why narcissists choose their audience, i.e. their victims, with great care.

9. Our freedom

If you commit yourself to a narcissist, you might as well throw away the key to personal freedom. Control and power are the number one addictive substances of narcissistic characters. If we surrender to them, our personal freedom is history. They demand sheer submission to their idea of community and love. If you are loyal to a toxic relationship, you might as well give up your basic rights and commit to living in a dictatorship.

10. Our life

Following on from the point just mentioned, point ten is unfortunately the logical and sad consequence. Narcissists demand control over our lives so they can make theirs a better one. In doing so, any means is fine with them. The sense of entitlement to freely dispose of the lives of those around them is one of the clearest signs of a toxic personality.

Today’s Conclusion

Some things may be owed. Anyone who has managed to escape a relationship with a narcissist knows the power that these people can wield. Therefore, anyone who is able to recognize the early warning signs should flee as soon as possible.

However, a friendship or relationship with people with narcissistic personality traits will not only rob us of the ten things mentioned. It will ultimately make us doubt our sanity and drive us mad, and not just figuratively.

Unfortunately, it usually takes a while before we realize that what we have interpreted as affection is nothing more than a demonstration of power and a compulsion to control. We could be replaced by any other person at any time if we no longer fit the narcissist's prey pattern.

No relationship, certainly not the illusion of it, is worth giving up even one of the things mentioned for someone else. Love was and is a child of freedom, so what narcissists demand from us, we’d be well advised to keep them guessing. That's it for today.