6 Secrets Narcissists Hope You’ll Never Find Out!

Even narcissists have vulnerabilities. In the midst of the eye of the storm, that is, in the clutches of a toxic relationship with a narcissist, this may seem completely absurd to us. These people always act confidently towards their victims and show strength in all situations. But at the end of the day, they are just people, albeit ones who should be treated with special caution.

Of course, it would be best not to fall into the trap they lay out in the first place. But that’s easy to forget in the early days with such a charismatic person who is eager for our favor. We can hardly grasp the happiness of having found someone who courts us by every trick in the book and wants to win us over at any price.

Unfortunately, what follows on the heels of this romantic offensive is almost incomprehensible. Life with people who clearly have a narcissistic personality disorder can turn out to be hell on earth. Manipulation, psychological tricks and total control are then on the agenda. But narcissists are, despite everything, thank God, only human. Mistakes happen to them and they also have their weaknesses. We would like to introduce you to six of them in this article.

1. They lose if we don't play along.

Probably the biggest fear of narcissists is that their games will come to naught. Their games are present from the moment narcissists meet supposed victims, but they turn out to be much more powerful than expected. It is precisely their psycho-tricks of twisting the truth and retroactively falsifying events that can turn their victim’s life sour.

Narcissists are usually so sure of themselves that they do not deviate from their usual repertoire. The bag of tricks the narcissist uses is always the same and its contents are extremely manageable. There is no greater embarrassment for these string-pullers than to want to expose their victim in the presence of others and to end up looking like the fool, themselves.

If people do not allow themselves to be manipulated in the way these provocateurs would like, they run into a wall. Their game does not work then and they stand there exposed as losers. Things also go badly for them when isolating their newly chosen victims from their circle of friends and family doesn't quite work out.

They lose the first important victory in their attempt at total control. This will never be possible for them if someone always interferes and the victim just won't let himself be beaten down.

2. Their pity and remorse are never genuine.

Narcissists are sometimes quite talented actors. They have mastered at least the range of fake feelings they deem necessary for the successful management of a toxic relationship. When it serves their cause, pity and remorse also come into play.

However, these sentiments are never to be taken at face value. They are meant to sabotage their victims' attempts to free themselves from their clutches. Of course, these are all just empty promises that are not followed by action.

However, these manipulators are very good at this game. They never tire of putting on the lame “I’m sorry” face, while everything soon resumes its usual toxic course.

3. Their camouflage is worse than expected.

They are usually good-looking, charismatic, very charming and, above all, eloquent. Their stories could be straight out of a Hollywood script. In any case, they are hardly ever true. Over the years, narcissists spin together a life story that would outrank any telenovela.

They are successful and live on the sunny side of life. In fact, however, they often end up on the sidelines professionally, naturally have no friends and no more contact with their family, and of course their lives are not quite so successful either. Their self-penned biography is as full of holes as Swiss cheese – a few targeted critical questions would be enough to make their artfully constructed facade crumble.

At least narcissists are not stupid, they know that they are operating on thin ice and that the world is famously small. Therefore, for this reason alone, it is absolutely vital for them to isolate their victims. The less their target’s loved ones can ask annoying questions or sew doubts, the longer they can get away with their charade.

Especially annoying for them is a sudden chance encounter with former victims or other persons from the past, whose reflexive negative reactions could put them in hot water. Therefore, they avoid the public whenever possible.

4. They don't want to be seen as serial offenders.

In the clutches of a narcissist, it feels like the whole mess is our fault. We are the deficient party who needs to be straightened out and educated. We are the forgetful, the distracted, and the insecure who desperately need a strong hand and control.

It would be decidedly unpleasant for our guardians to admit that we are just one of many who have taken on their horror scenario. Before us, others were easy prey; after us, others will come. But it helps the manipulators enormously to dump total blame on us and see us as a unique project.

5. Reconciliation would completely overwhelm them.

Once you manage to escape from the clutches of narcissistic partners, you will most likely have peace from them. Only a very few will become stalkers or cannot bear to lose this round. Because that is exactly how they see relationships with their victims; as a game.

A separation with subsequent reconciliation would mean on the one hand that the control was not really as strong as they thought and, on the other hand, it would simply not be fun for them anymore to hold on to this construct that does not correspond to their idea of a clear perpetrator-victim relationship.

For that, the victim has already emancipated himself too far and withdrawn from control. So if you want to make a narcissist uncomfortable, suggest an extensive reconciliation.

6. Their greatest fear is being exposed.

Even if they act with extreme confidence and seem to have everything perfectly under control, the narcissist’s biggest fear is that you will see through their tactics and realize that the whole relationship was just a power play. They need staying power, an immense arsenal of more or less good excuses and all their acting skills not to be exposed.

Today’s Conclusion

When the facade finally crumbles. Narcissists are toxic in the truest sense of the word, but like all people, they also have vulnerabilities and are vulnerable. Even when they've mastered their game, there are ways to spot cracks in their fine facade and inconsistencies in their perfectly staged show. This thought is comforting, even if we often recognize it late in the game. The best remedy against people with narcissistic tendencies is not to play along with their game. Critically question everything that seems awry to us. Our gut feelings usually know more than we do.