Careful! 5 Signs YOU Are Being Used!

Willingness to help without limits. Are you also one of those people who like to be asked for help or advice often? It's a nice feeling to be needed, isn't it? Unfortunately, there are fluid boundaries here that can quickly cause our willingness to help and our obliging nature to tip over into the abyss. Other people can develop an attitude of expectation, and with it a sense of entitlement that no longer has anything to do with friendly service. These are based on reciprocity. The same applies to good old neighborly help and support in everyday life. As long as all these things are based on fair give and take, everything is fine. However, if you're always the one who's constantly stepping into the breach for others but never get anything in return, they're definitely taking advantage of you. Want proof? In this article we'll introduce you to 5 warning signs that you're a convenient self-servant for other people.

Being able to help others makes you happy.

You love feeling needed? The world depends on you? No one can understand people like you? Congratulations, you would have already fallen asleep on the fastest route to burnout. If you stay on this route, pronounced helper syndrome will soon bring you to the limits of your endurance. Of course, the world lives on helping hands that tirelessly ensure that the weak are better off and the strong are not allowed to declare all the advantages for themselves. But you are not the salvation of the world. Say goodbye sooner rather than later to the idea that no one can do this job but you. It is not your job to fix everything that is wrong around you. If you are asked for help, it is commendable of you to comply, but it is not your job or your responsibility. Always keep this subtle difference in mind. There are probably only a very small number of people who are truly dependent on you and are actually your responsibility. Children or parents who need care, partners in difficult situations and maybe one or two good friends. But that's about it as far as sense of responsibility and competence are concerned. Between complete ignorance of what's going on in the world and a helper syndrome that catapults you headlong into burnout, there are many gray areas. Find the right one for you and, if in doubt, let it run closer to healthy egoism than to the border of self-sacrifice.

You yourself find it difficult to ask for help.

Surprisingly, it is often the saviors in all situations who cannot ask for help or assistance themselves. They feel rude or pushy, they don't want to be a burden to anyone and are sometimes even ashamed of not being able to get everything together on their own. This attitude is at least as responsible for the imbalance that arises in this way as the unrestrained exploitation of serviceable fellow human beings. Both sides produce in such a way an unfavorable starting position, as far as the balance of giving and taking goes.

You put your needs in the back of the line.

This mechanism often takes hold in partnerships and within families. There is always one adult who puts his needs behind in favor of all. Women still volunteer for this life characterized by renunciation more often than average. They literally sacrifice themselves for their loved ones. A life of their own, or at least the cultivation of hobbies and interests, is almost non-existent. The givers in these constructs act as manager, chauffeur, kitchen and household panel and simply take care of everything. The other members of this assisted living, also known as family, are pure beneficiaries. Yet they often can't help it at all. Things are simply moving in that direction and who would voluntarily give up conveniences they might as well keep?

Nobody makes as much effort as you do.

There will always be people who are willing to give more than others. Some have such high demands on themselves that they have already built a cage out of it. At some point, they can no longer get out of it. They don't just bake one cake for the parents' evening, no, there are at least three of them. If they have to volunteer for overtime at the office, they are the safe bank for everyone. Their partners support them to the point of self-sacrifice, even if these may sometimes find this over-commitment too much or even embarrassing. It is not a mistake to be better and more motivated than others. The only thing you should not lose sight of is proportionality. It is not so much a question of whether we get back enough of what we give. It's more a question of what we expect of ourselves and our lives as a result. Wanting to be among the best and most ambitious is the all-important difference between victory and defeat in many areas. People with this ambition would be in good hands in competitive sports, in politics or in the executive suites of this world. As ordinary citizens, however, we waste our energies in this way. We waste precious energy every day and don't even notice it. Less engagement doesn't mean a worse outcome. And maybe we can even enjoy the scenery along the way if we let off the gas pedal a little.

Others always come first.

Give people in your social environment a hand and soon you're missing the whole arm. Such transactions become ingrained in no time at all, but who can blame our fellow human beings? Of course, it is very practical to have someone at hand who always manages everything and who is not too good to do errands or help out. Perhaps at some point someone drilled into these good spirits that the family or the job always come first. Only then may they consider where their wishes and dreams have actually gone. Imprinting in childhood and adolescence plays a central role in how much we later put ourselves out there for others. Some people even think they have to earn the love and affection of others. They then try to do this throughout their lives by becoming the contact point for all concerns. The reasons are always deep-seated when people bend themselves to be loved or at least made. Not every one of us is born with a strong sense of self-worth and plenty of self-love.

Today’s Conclusion:

Aim for healthy egoism. Last but not least, we would like to introduce you to a quality that can be extremely useful to you in all situations in life. It asks nothing of you in return, except that you occasionally let it take the lead. Healthy egoism is not a demon that plunges humanity into the abyss. Rather, it is a practical corrective that protects the overly kind-hearted among us from burnout and self-sacrifice. Used in small doses, it provides balance in the interpersonal realm. It is even thanks to it that relationships last longer and people do not lose their freedom even in partnerships. It teaches children that their parents are not their service personnel, and in the workplace it contributes significantly to more justice, at least from time to time. That's it for today.