Be Careful!!! 7 Subtle Signs That You’re Dealing With a Dangerous Person!

You never know who's looking back at you. Whether it is good or bad to get closer to the true character of our fellow human beings may be an open question. Anyone who follows the news regularly or reads books on the subject of good or evil will soon find themselves in a web of distrust and justified caution. But going through the world with this general suspicion does not necessarily make it a safe and certainly not a nicer place for us to be. There are undoubtedly many people in the world who are up to no good. Some are comparatively harmless and only seek their own advantage, while others are extremely driven and cannot help but give in to their dark urges. Caution is therefore certainly not a bad thing when we make new acquaintances. Our gut feeling and intuition can also provide us with valuable information to better read people. 

1. They carry unresolved conflicts with them.

Potentially dangerous people can appear friendly, attentive and often very charming at first. When we begin to feel connected with them, many begin to open up and pour out their hearts to us. We hear stories about a bad childhood, a broken marriage or difficult and completely desolate family relationships. There is no circle of friends or relatives with whom they keep in contact with. Even in the workplace, they are underestimated, disrespected and under-appreciated for their efforts. When even a glimmer of so-called ‘helper syndrome’ lies dormant within us, we immediately feel called upon to help these poor lost causes. After all, they appear to be a victim of circumstance and bad luck. We want to be the one that won’t disappoint them and the person they can always count on. Stop! This is exactly where they want us. We are now literally on the emotional hook of a dangerous person. If you find yourself here, you already fell for it hook, line and sinker. Of course you don't want to admit that at this point. After all, they are a victim. But beware, it is this first move that often makes unsuspecting, good-natured and compassionate people easy prey for those with bad intentions. 

2. Responsibility is a foreign concept to them.

Regardless of whether you meet this person in a private or professional context, after initial trust has been built, something will start to change. The facade of friendliness and sensitivity will begin to crack. When mistakes or glitches occur, bad people tend to show their true colors, even if they are not yet fully unmasked. They will shirk all responsibility and quickly find a culprit. You may not be aware of this the first few times, but the refusal of any responsibility is part of the playbook and no deviation from this is tolerated.

3. Dirty laundry is often washed in public.

The next level of the slow but brutal escalation in dealing with these people is the public warning. The moment will come when you will be cut down and scolded at a meeting with your friends or at work in front of the entire team. At first, you will be so perplexed by these allegations that you will not be able to find the words to respond to them. Now would be a good time to pull the emergency brake, if you can. This verbal and always highly public humiliation will be an integral part of your relationship from now on. 

4. Drama is their constant companion.

You won't be alone for long as this person's whipping boy. Conflict is what makes this kind of person get up in the morning, and before long you will see many of the stories they’ve told you in a whole new light. You now know that you are dealing with non-stop drama with this individual, but successfully fighting back against this corrosive activity will be difficult. But this is the moment you realize that the common denominator for many problems, arguments and dramatic outbursts is someone very specific, and it most certainly is not you.

5. They care a lot about what other people think of them.

Bad people usually invest a lot of time, money and energy in presenting the best possible image of themselves to the outside world. A well-groomed appearance and a flawless image are very important to them. They instinctively realize that their mind games can only work in the medium to long term if nobody catches them out. They are very self-expressive, articulate and charismatic. This is also what makes it so difficult to warn others about them.

6. Stealth and deception are popular tricks.

If you are in a relationship with someone who’s dangerous, they won’t take their eyes off their cell phone or give you unrestricted access to their laptop. You will constantly feel like there are areas of their life that you have no insight into. At work, you will be given ridiculous tasks in private that will cripple your productivity and sideline you. Your results, on the other hand, will be pocketed and sold as their own performance. You cannot prove any of this though, as they do a very good job of projecting an outward image of purity and innocence.

7. Gaslighting is your defense strategy.

When it slowly dawns on you that your relationship with this person isn't right, you'll start to probe a little deeper. You will no longer simply accept everything that you’re told about yourself. What follows is the popular gaslighting tactic that will make you question your sanity. Common responses from such manipulators include things like “That was just for fun”, “You are too sensitive”, or “You need help, you are really paranoid”. This insidious art of twisting the facts is compounded by the fact that none of it sounds mean or aggressive. On the contrary, they talk to you like a child who has been left behind in a way that suggests they only mean well.

Today’s Conclusion 

Danger does not have to mean life threatening. If these seven points appear harmless and relatively unremarkable to you, you've fallen for the worst trap in dealing with dangerous people. Few bad people walk in our door and start wildly attacking us either verbally or physically. The danger posed by these people is that they gradually work their way into our lives, and sometimes, unfortunately, our hearts. A relationship with a dangerous person doesn't have to be life threatening. However, they’ll repeatedly damage your sanity, tarnish your self-esteem, isolate you from your family and friends, and, ultimately, make you a willing victim of their mind games. Danger does not begin only when your health and life are physically threatened. It usually ends there. That's it for today. Thank you and see you soon.