THIS Is How to Combat Difficult People! 8 Clever Tips That Work, Guaranteed!

When simply being with someone starts to feel like running the gauntlet. We can't all choose the people with whom we live our daily lives. Coworkers, neighbors, other parents in daycare or school: the world is big and the variety of people living in it is overwhelming in itself. We think to ourselves that if everyone would just try a little harder, living together would be a source of eternal friendship. As it is, however, it's more like running the gauntlet or an extremely unpleasant walk on a social minefield. How we would love to react to critical remarks and stupid utterances like a toddler some days, but unfortunately the social pecking order and the unwritten laws of community don’t exactly condone screaming fits, tantrums and throwing objects at other adults. So we need other strategies to deal with difficult people. We have eight suggestions for you in this article on how to deal with chronic killjoys and the categorically disgruntled in an adult way.

1. Don't go into defense mode.

Difficult people and stupid people have one thing in common: It's no use trying to get them to see your point of view. They are so entrenched in their worldview that anything you say will probably only make the situation worse. They have no interest whatsoever in hearing your opinion or a rationale. So save yourself the trouble that this Sisyphean task would cost you. Rather than an extensive defense, counter with a short, snappy "it is what it is." Besides, after a certain age, you don't have to justify your personal life choices. If you've done something wrong, you'll apologize; if not, every word is wasted.

2. Listening helps.

Sometimes we manage to get to the bottom of difficult people's problems just by listening to them and giving them a little space to express their beliefs. At least as important as what is said, however, is the message that remains unspoken between the lines. This is where intuition is needed, and also a certain amount of empathy. Of course, one could argue at this point that we are not free social workers for difficult people. But we must also not forget how high the degree of loneliness is within the population. Listening to someone once can mean a lot to these people and the chances are not so bad afterwards that he or she might become a little more sociable in the future. It's worth the effort, anyway.

3. Don't try to convince or change them.

Trying to reason with difficult, stubborn, or intransigent people is like the proverbial talking to a wall. They will never heed your words, if they listen to you at all. Accept their point of view and make it clear to them that you represent a different one on the subject. Let it go with that, because you are fighting windmills without any chance of winning.

4. Keep calm and let the storm pass.

There is a saying: be kindest to those people who are unkind to you. They need it the most. It is the same with the nagging or scolding tirades of difficult fellow human beings. Once you realize that you are fighting a losing battle with logic or objective argumentation, it is best to let the storm pass with a smile on your face and nice thoughts in your head. Regardless of whether it's a choleric boss or a hysterical neighbor, we don't deserve to have to deal with this maelstrom in a concrete and conscious way. So it's best to put a good face on it and use the time to think of something nice for dinner or a reward for your composure and extra good behavior in this difficult situation.

5. Understanding costs nothing.

Of course, we can also approach the phenomenon of "difficult personality" with interest and curiosity. Why are these people the way they are? What makes them so angry that they can't keep quiet about it? What frustrates them so much that they cannot allow other people their happiness and peace? Most of the time, the triggers of their verbal or emotional lapses are not the real problem. Much of it may just be a trigger that brings to light much deeper causes. However, in your endeavors, you may quickly find that your spirit of inquiry doesn't really get you anywhere. But it speaks well of you if you try. Put yourself in their shoes and take their point of view. If it seems plausible to you, good, if not, at least you tried and now you know that in the future a different strategy will have to come into play.

6. Set boundaries and keep your distance.

It's not always possible, but sometimes, unfortunately, it's the only choice difficult characters leave us. Those who can, get to safety from these destructive and begrudging people, bypass them wholesale and avoid them as much as possible. If direct confrontation is necessary, the boundaries must be addressed clearly and concisely. A long back and forth is neither purposeful nor desirable. Even if we would prefer to avoid such conflicts altogether, sometimes we have to show our colors so that an unpleasant situation does not turn into a neverending nightmare.

7. Remain respectful and friendly.

Probably the biggest challenge in dealing with difficult people is not to stoop to their level. Sometimes we probably come close to cracking and losing our upright upbringing. But we should not give the ill-tempered the satisfaction of doing so. When they realize that their poisonous arrows are going nowhere and that every bit of spitefulness is bouncing off us and we are countering it with a mild smile at the most, sooner or later they will lose interest in us. Sometimes the only way to win against difficult personalities is simply not to play the game.

8. If nothing else helps: ignore them.

This approach should be your last resort, but it is also the most effective. Some people, unfortunately, force us to drop them from our radar screen altogether and banish them to oblivion. Unfortunately, we cannot always make use of this strategy. Work colleagues, superiors, roommates and the neighbors are not so easily removed from your perception. But if you have the chance to do so, and every friendly, reasonable, and accommodating means has not worked, it is your right to remove people from your greeting list.

Today’s Conclusion

Understanding yes, but in moderation. When dealing with difficult people, always remember: We all have a battle to fight, and those around us are not aware of it. As an outsider, no one can guess what difficulties and problems are weighing on someone else’s soul. With this in mind, you should not worry more about difficult contemporaries than is absolutely necessary. It may well be that someone is having a difficult day (or life), but this will not be made easier by making it more difficult for those around him. In addition, a minimum of politeness is never too much to ask. Your compassion and understanding speak well of you, but in the adult world, there are a few rules of the game and they apply to everyone without exception.