The Empath and the Narcissist – A Magical Attraction With Dire Consequences!

As charming as it may sometimes be when opposites attract and lead to relationships, it becomes difficult when two diametrically opposed character traits come together. A stable and fulfilling partnership is based on respect, equal footing, and give and take.

The latter is the focus of the relationship between empaths and narcissists, but in such a way that empaths are givers and narcissists restrict themselves exclusively to taking. The feelings and needs of one’s partner should always be at least as important as one’s own. These two groups of people, on the other hand, operate at the opposite end of the emotional spectrum.

The empath is extremely compassionate and sensitive, can empathize with people's feelings in a matter of seconds and would give anything for his or her loved ones; the narcissist is the complete opposite. He is manipulative, self-important and wants to be the center of attention in addition to total control.

For him, if you are not for him, you are against him. When these two personalities meet, there is not infrequently an enormous spontaneous attraction at play; they are also theoretically made for each other and would basically complement each other perfectly.

Nevertheless, such a relationship often means terror without end for the empath, even if the beginning is seen through rose-colored glasses and takes place under a romantic sky with violins playing in the background. So what's the problem then? We'll explain in this article.

What makes empaths "tick"?

Empaths are highly sensitive people who have an abundance of understanding, love and admiration that they willingly give away and want to put out into the world. They absorb the emotions of those around them readily and compassionately.

In addition, they have also been granted the wonderful gift of being able to connect with another person's thoughts and feelings in real time. Anyone who can gain an empath partner, or partners, has actually hit the jackpot. Unfortunately, this does not apply to those characters who operate at the exact opposite end of the empathy axis.

What makes narcissists "tick"?

At first glance, they are charming, charismatic, generous and simply irresistible. A narcissist views all of life as a single stage in which he is the main actor, frenetically acclaimed. Narcissists like to hold the reins and can become angry or even aggressive when things don't go the way their oversized egos would like them to.

They help themselves to their fellow human beings like at a self-service buffet. Empathy is completely foreign to them; how their environment is or what effects they have on their fellow human beings doesn't interest them for a second.

When an empath and a narcissist fall in love.

They usually spark within seconds. It's as if the proverbial two sides of a coin have been magnetically attracted to each other for years and have finally found each other. The empath floats in seventh heaven and feels he has reached the goal of his romantic search.

The narcissist, on the other hand, does not fall in love with a person, he enjoys the feeling of being with someone who completely renounces his own needs and aligns his life 100% according to his wishes. Some narcissists open doors to their dark habits right at the beginning, or they downplay their character by saying things generally, such as “I know I’m difficult.”

For the empath, unfortunately, this is good news. For at last she or he can devote himself or herself with compassion and commitment to a lost soul; they can really save someone. For empaths, the prospect of putting themselves fully at the service of a loved one is irresistible, and at the beginning of the relationship with the narcissist, they also tend to show mostly their charming side.

The empath tends to put on quite a big show and shower his beloved with compliments, gifts and romantic surprises. The empaths often floating on air for happiness and overwhelm. Unfortunately, they also overlook the first warning signs that soon appear on the horizon.

The first warning signs appear

Empaths are loyal in their relationships. Unfortunately, this loyalty can take on dimensions that prevent them from recognizing when it's time for a critical review of the situation, and critical comes sooner rather than later with a narcissist. The following indications should give empaths urgent signs to think again.

1. Dictatorship instead of democracy

A relationship with a narcissist will never be an equal one. They set the tone and decide things from the beginning. Narcissists also do not respect boundaries. They are psychologically and emotionally and of course physically programmed to assault. Accordingly, the ideal time for an awakening would be the first transgression of a personal boundary.

2. Family and friends are distanced

Outsiders are usually quicker to see when a person does not have a thoroughly honest intention. They will try to warn the empath or at least ask him to take it easy. As soon as the narcissist gets wind of such tendencies, he will do everything he can to stop this contact.

3. The mood turns more and more often

In the beginning, some narcissists behave charmingly and amiably, but this posturing soon becomes tiresome to them and their true self comes out. Unfortunately, this also includes a lukewarm demeanor towards their partners. They always lose their temper quickly, and living with them becomes a dance on egg shells.

4. The empath begins to doubt his behavior

Narcissists love to use the tactic of gas lighting however. These mind games take their name from the 1938 play of the same name by Patrick Hamilton, in which the female lead is successively driven to the brink of insanity by her husband.

Narcissists talk their victims into incidents that never happened or happened in a completely different way, twist the facts beyond recognition, and deliberately and systematically make their partner doubt their sanity. The empaths thus become more and more insecure and withdrawn, the narcissist subsequently moves more and more clearly into the central role.

Our conclusion

How do relationships between partners and narcissists end? Given the known facts, it is not surprising that these constructs never end up happily for empaths. Ideally, sooner or later they realize the downward trend this relationship will take and are able to extricate themselves on their own.

Usually, the narcissist loses interest in this occupation for show and drops the empath like the proverbial hot potato. This variation is especially bad because the empath partners will forever wonder what they did wrong.

They do not suspect that they were actually very lucky to have escaped this emotional spider's web, because the worst version for the empath is a long-term relationship with the narcissist, meaning that for the manipulative side of this coin everything goes according to master plan. The empath fits perfectly into the narcissist’s template and offers up the ideal, the partner who is willing to fulfill all the needs of the narcissist for life.