LOVE Meets FEAR? YOU Will Learn the Reasons Here!
Everyone longs for love, but far too often we get in our own way. The fear of love often makes it difficult for us to admit we want it and to hold on to love for a long time period. What everyone desires deep inside is a relationship characterized by love. Nevertheless, it is often difficult to have love without fear. In this article we’ll tell you why this is so.
Various surveys show that it’s the beginning of the year in particular when relationships end. More than 50% of respondents said that they would hypothetically end a relationship before Valentine's Day if they were thinking of breaking up. Perhaps you too have noticed in your circle of acquaintances that a conspicuously large number of couples break up at the beginning of the year, or perhaps you yourself have started the new year with a breakup. But regardless of the timing, a breakup, and thus a lost love, is always painful and often leaves us with unanswered questions. In retrospect, everyone probably asks themselves the question: Why did my relationship fail? What was the reason? Anyone who grapples with these questions will find that the answer is anything but pleasant, because the reason for a breakup is deeply rooted in ourselves. Being happy in a relationship always means being vulnerable. And this is where our fears come in. Depending on the relationship, our subconscious goes into protective mode, because too much closeness and intimacy triggers fears of being hurt. Thus, it is worthwhile to see clearly what is keeping us from finding love and, above all, holding on to it. Because ultimately, this is the key to overcoming the hurdles and opening ourselves up to the love we would all like to have in our lives. Now, let's move on to some reasons.
1. True love makes us vulnerable
Of course, anyone who has just fallen in love and is ready to enter into a new relationship is always taking a risk. After all, a new relationship goes hand in hand with getting to know your new partner and developing a certain basic trust in them. If we’re honest, it’s always a big step for us to get involved with a new partner. After all, a relationship always involves change, and this often means that we enter new territory with extreme caution and are inwardly unwilling to completely drop our protective shield so as not to feel completely vulnerable. However, even though we think we are protecting ourselves from hurt, this attitude denies us from fully enjoying our new love and fully engaging with the new situation and new partners.
2. Old hurts affect every new relationship
Even though you may think you are completely done with old relationships, you should be aware that they can also have a strong influence on new relationships. As early as childhood we are shaped by and gain experiences with other people. Our behavior in romantic relationships is influenced by our early experiences. Thus, we may long for love but subconsciously reject intense closeness, as old losses and hurts reinforce our fears and we subconsciously react in a rejecting way instead of fully opening up to new love,
3. Love and the inner child
Throughout our lives we accumulate experiences that change our attitudes, and yet we cannot completely free ourselves from our past selves. Especially when it comes to love and relationships, self-confidence often fails and we are emotionally transported back to our childhood and adolescence. The feeling of not being lovable or not being able to live up to others' expectations suddenly catches up with us again. Painful childhood experiences leave a strong imprint on us and influence us so much that our inner voice makes us believe that we are not worthy of being loved and appreciated by our counterpart,
4. Love and suffering are closely linked
Love and sorrow, joy and sadness – one cannot do without the other. Accordingly, it is often difficult to enjoy true joy or true love, because our inner being still maintains that link to sadness, or suffering. Thus, it is difficult to commit 100% to a new relationship for fear that it might entail suffering and sadness. But not allowing positive feelings out of fear of negative feelings is a kind of self-protection that keeps us away from happiness.
5. Fear of different intensity of feelings
Another problem is often the fear of your partner bringing more intense feelings into the relationship than you do. The worry about not being able to develop the same feelings often acts as an inhibitor and prevents the budding of love. But ultimately it must be clear that, in a relationship, the idea that the emotional worlds of both partners are identical is pure fallacy. Feelings are rarely balanced on both sides, and so each person's feelings continue to vary throughout the course of a relationship. Annoyances, arguments and stress can always lead to fluctuations in feelings, and this is completely natural, because our emotional lives are constantly changing.
6. Relationships affect existing attachments
True love, and therefore a serious relationship, changes one's life and therefore also the relationship with previous attachment figures. Regardless of whether we are talking about family ties or friendships, a new relationship always heralds a new phase in life and also ensures a change, or rather a further development, in family and friendship relationships. But this does not necessarily mean giving up family and friends, but rather saying goodbye to the past on an emotional level and cultivating the relationship with family and friends in a new way.
7. Existential fears caused by a new partnership
A new love often arouses existential fears or intensifies existing fears. The more feelings we have toward a partner, the more aware we become of our values and fears. The fear of losing a partner also makes us aware of our mortality. This is completely natural, and we should deal with our fears openly in order not to burden the partnership or even destroy it.
Today’s Conclusion
A new relationship presents us with many challenges. Old hurts, fears and negative examples from the past make us want to protect ourselves subconsciously. It is extremely important to recognize this, because only then can we avoid sabotaging ourselves subconsciously. If you manage to free yourself from self-fulfilling prophecies and get to know yourself better, you will ensure that love has a real chance. That's it for today.