Why Being Ignored Hurts So Much

Silence is more powerful than words. Who doesn't know this feeling: you’re eagerly awaiting an answer from your loved one, but nothing comes back. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, it can seem like the rug is being pulled out from under you when a message goes unanswered. But even if relationships are already established, feeling like you’re constantly talking to a wall can be tiring and frustrating. The death knell for any relationship is indifference. It's not for nothing that couples who are constantly arguing are said to have a longer half-life than those who keep quiet. Constantly running up against a cold shoulder can not only disturb the relationship, but we ourselves also suffer from it and naturally look to blame the silence on ourselves. Any inexplicable behavior from others, such as silence and being ignored, often triggers a cascade of self-doubt in us. But it gets worse. Why it feels like the greatest punishment is simply being ignored by our fellow human beings, we’ll try to illustrate in this article with a few points.

1. Aren't you worth paying attention to?

This question is creeping up on you more and more. Especially if you can recognize a pattern of silence, this negative thought spiral is the logical consequence of it. In a partnership, chronic silence forms the ideal breeding ground for self-doubt of every kind. When your partner’s job, hobbies and friends always come first and then at some point not even short text messages are answered, women in particular look for the fault and blame in themselves. Important: If these moments of silence are isolated incidents that are really just due to the situation, there is no reason to worry. Events can occur at work or during leisure time when it is really inconvenient to answer a call or a message. The situation only becomes critical when you can recognize a pattern that clearly places you as a lower priority in someone else’s estimation. This tactic need not be limited to relationships and partnerships. Family members and friends can also display the unattractive habit of not acknowledging their fellow man. This is not only rude, but also clearly shows that they feel superior to you. You should avoid such characters if possible.

2. You feel like you're no longer in control

Loss of control is an unpleasant feeling. In any situation, in relationships with other people, it unfortunately opens the floodgates to jealousy and other toxic behavioral traits. The problem with silence is the many ways in which it can be interpreted. A failure to answer our questions is like a blank canvas that provides ample room for speculation, but unfortunately will leave us without the answer we crave. Of course, you can try to pin down your silent partner by force and wrest an answer from her or him. This is tedious, energy-sapping and, let's face it, an undignified spectacle that adults should not voluntarily subject themselves to. This feeling of helplessness can bring out quite frightening sides to the surface. At the same time, desperately clinging to these great silencers would be the wrong thing to do. If you have the feeling that you are being manipulated and deliberately ignored, fight fire with fire. In this case, feel free to do so, it will do less damage than unleashing hellfire on your partner, which probably won’t even bring a satisfactory answer. Take back the reins of the situation. If you answer silence with silence, you might find you’ll soon get a response. But don't be happy the contact is back on. Say politely but firmly, "No, thank you!" and go your own way.

3. Your self-esteem suffers

This is always the hardest to take when people ostracize us, ignore us, and don't give us the place in their lives that we would like. Women tend to blame their inadequate appearance and their age. Men feel belittled and perceive a lack of social status and wealth. In fact, however, it is we ourselves and our tireless inner critics who tell us this nonsense. They use every little hurt and crack in our hard shell to spread their gloomy serum. Being ignored is indeed not nice, but it has nothing to do with us. It is not up to us to take the next step and take an action, that is, to respond. The problem in this equation is not us, but the other end of the dead line.

4. Uncertainty determines your actions

If you're always being left in the dark, soon you can't see the forest for the trees. Once uncertainty takes hold, it's hard to get back to our usual self-assurance. Even those of us who are basically self-confident and have both feet on the ground start to doubt ourselves and our actions at some point. A clarifying conversation, sooner rather than later, can remedy this. Finally, don't discount the possibility that it's just bad timing or a misunderstanding. Most of the time, however, we intuitively sense it when we're being relegated to the back burner. If you don't want to live a life on demand, withdraw from these people. Constant insecurity can drive us to the brink of insanity sooner or later. It is a favorite tool of narcissists who use the tactic of gaslighting for a reason.

5. You desperately need to define it

Friendship or casual acquaintance? Love or affair? Commitment or the flavor of the month? We humans long for security and stability in all aspects of life. So much comes along that we can't influence or control. Interpersonal relationships are supposed to enrich our lives, not make them worse or degenerate into a constant lottery with bad odds. It is therefore advisable, in due course, to clarify the fronts and look for a definition. Importantly, think about what you want. Don't settle for whatever crumbs are thrown at you.

Today’s Conclusion

Pattern or hiccup? It makes a huge difference whether ghosting happens every now and then or is a clearly identifiable pattern of behavior relationships. The latter is actually a form of manipulation and a clear attempt to gain control over the partner. On the other hand, anyone who does not receive a reply to a text message once in a while does not have to feel immediately set back or ignored. Life gets in the way of everyone from time to time. However, if you increasingly have the feeling that someone wants to emotionally starve you, draw the consequences sooner rather than later. Manipulation and control addiction are not proofs of love; on the contrary, those who consistently do not even dignify us with a response are not worthy of our company. Always remember, human dignity is inviolable. This is not a kindness, but a human right. That's it for today.