Stop Believing THIS!
It borders on blasphemy to squeeze something as wonderful as love into a corset of rules and laws. If there is a power here on this earth that impressively proves every day that anything is possible, it is love. Our image of love today stems to a large extent from our upbringing and the example set by parents and family. The rest we owe to the Hollywood dream factory and the endless expanses of romance novels. Misunderstandings are plentiful when it comes to the most beautiful thing in the world. But there are also numerous traditional rules and norms that have long since become obsolete, if they ever held any truth at all. We have compiled 10 such outdated beliefs that you should forget immediately.
1. Every relationship can succeed, if only both people want it to
This sentence probably comes from the time of our great-grandparents. At that time, the success of a marriage was a matter of honor at any price. In the event of a separation, neither side would have survived the social stigmatization without a massive loss of face. The women would probably have been abandoned to poverty. The slogan: "Hold out at any cost" is no longer relevant. Unfortunately, some relationships come to an end at some point. Keeping them alive for the wrong reasons only costs energy and blocks the chance for a new beginning.
2. All things together is the motto
From partner looks to joint book club memberships or shared circles of friends, the idea of a romantic relationship in which both halves must spend every minute of their time together is as antiquated as it is unrealistic. Studies also show the exact opposite. The relationships that last are the ones in which both partners cultivate their own interests, have individual circles of friends and acquaintances, and are even allowed to spend the occasional vacation separately.
3. The one who loves us must anticipate our every wish
Anyone who isn't cultivating their relationship with Harry Potter or Merlin the Wizard is out of luck if they expect clairvoyance from their better half. No one can see into the mind of another, and certainly not into their heart. What we hope for, long for and dream of in a partnership must be clearly communicated, and preferably right from the start. If we expect the impossible, the relationship will bear no fruit except disappointment and frustration.
4. You have to be passionate about the same things
Mankind would probably have died out long ago if that were really the case. The probability that a vegan stamp collector with a soft spot for reptiles and a preference for grassland actually meets a similar partner is, to put it mildly, less than slim. If we add the geographical component of his place of residence and the professional and family background, the chances of such a meet and greet are 0. Hobbies and passions may of course be different, the keyword that ensures success here is tolerance.
5. The needs of the other always have priority
This old-fashioned truism is probably the quickest way to unhappiness. Giving up one's own needs is guaranteed to not lead a pair of lovers into the sunset together on the beach. Unfortunately, many people today still confuse devotion with self-sacrifice. If you have to renounce everything that once inspired and motivated you, you will never be happy in any place or with any person. A relationship must not cost us our identity. This price would be decidedly too high.
6. Cheating is the end
Even though most people would spontaneously tend towards this view, when in doubt, we should rather look at the facts and consider the circumstances. Not every affair immediately means that the relationship is beyond repair. And not every betrayal is such a serious breach of trust that it would be irreparable. We are not talking about something simple here, but we should not disregard the possibility of not kicking an inherently stable relationship into the trash because of thoughtless foolishness.
7. Housework is 50/50
Tragically enough, we still have to talk about the tiresome topic of housework at all in the 21st century. When 2 adults share an apartment, the following applies: shared dirt is shared dirt. Whoever has the time or can better manage it, should handle as much of the work as possible, without expecting anything in return. From the moment that a performance record is kept in relationships, it is better to leave it alone. If mutual support and help are not self-sustaining, love has no chance anyway.
8. Partners with emotional baggage are off-limits
Let's face it: what person older than 25 comes without any emotional baggage? As adults, we will hardly find partners for whom we are the first great love. Everyone has his or her baggage to shoulder after a certain age. Not all of their experiences were good, and you have to look at that realistically and accept it.
9. A minimum amount of sex per week is mandatory
Yes, exactly, it is best to set the kitchen alarm clock or the smartphone timer and reserve fixed time slots in the schedule for it. Physical love should remain a pleasure that benefits from spontaneity. If it is crammed into a schedule, like a visit to the dentist or the car repair shop, one should not be surprised about a corresponding lack of romance.
10. Never go to sleep angry
This principle is generally not a bad one. However, many people would suffer from chronic sleep deprivation if they stuck rigidly to this rule. Sometimes it doesn't do any good to see a dispute through to the end and then spend half the night fighting over it. Agree on a truce and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. The argument is not going anywhere.
Today's conclusion: 10 commandments with an expiration date
This list could be extended. For example, among women and young girls there is still a persistent rumor that men should be kept waiting, that it is always the man who settles the bill, and that sex on the first date is an absolute no-go. Listen to your heart and let your mind have a say. That's all you need to know about the rules of love.