How YOUR Childhood Affects YOUR Psychological Health!
Childhood lasts a lifetime. Whether we like it or not, we cannot escape our own childhood. If it was harmonious and full of happy moments, this is good news. The functional foundation that our parents, grandparents and other caregivers gave us is then a sure thing for the rest of our lives. However, if we have been shortchanged, maybe had to take on an excess of responsibility at an early age or simply experienced too little love, this starting disadvantage also remains one for life. Depending on how it develops, which companions we meet on the way to adulthood and how well we can come to terms with the past, beautiful things can emerge from this unstable foundation. But why do these first experiences in childhood have such an enormous impact on our entire existence? In this article we've compiled the five most important points that science has come up with on this topic so far.
1. Infancy is when our brains develop
From our first perceptions in infancy to puberty, a real quantum leap in activity and performance takes place in our brains. Not only do we have to learn cognitive skills, but above all we have to develop a sense of social norms and interpersonal interaction. Our memory grows by the hour, and new impressions come crashing down on us every second. The more intensively a child is accompanied on this demanding path, the better. Many things happen that the child's mind cannot cope with or even understand on its own. If there are no adults around, the child can quickly become overwhelmed and overstimulated. In any group, we have to find our place, fill our role and deal with all kinds of input from outside. Our brain can handle all that, but especially at a young age our brain needs a mentor who can intervene in a regulating way if the worst comes to the worst.
2. Childhood relationships lay the foundation for all later ones
This is where the role-model effect comes into play, but mechanisms trained and internalized at an early age also play a role: Anyone who was allowed to grow up in a harmonious and loving environment will have experienced relationships as value constructs that are to be treated with respect and care. One will have been taught the value of family and friendship accordingly and appropriate manners, which are important tools for later life. The reverse is true, of course, if childhood relationship patterns were negative or perhaps even destructive. Those who were never shown how relationships can succeed and what harmonious togetherness can look like simply lack the basics for this. Unfortunately, the family is and remains the most important test laboratory for interpersonal relationships. If first experiences are deficient, not even an ambitious kindergarten teacher or other caregivers will be able to make up for this deficit. Children from broken homes later tend remarkably often to make up for this deficiency by starting a family themselves early and rather carelessly in the hope of compensation. But those who have no idea how much work relationships and child rearing entail will unfortunately only be confronted with excessive demands and renewed failure instead of the hoped-for happiness, and history ends up repeating itself.
3. Learning to deal with feelings
Numerous studies have shown that childhood trauma, neglect or prolonged stress change the way emotions are processed. For example, a child with rejecting parents might start to throw temper tantrums to get his or her way. Such unhealthy coping habits makes these children vulnerable to stress later in life and cause them to fall back on similar behavior patterns in difficult situations. They do not learn patience, tolerance, and develop into extremely thin-skinned, overall difficult adults. If love withdrawal was frequently threatened or other forms of emotional blackmail were practiced in childhood, these mechanisms, having worked, are also carried into later life. Whether the former child becomes a perpetrator or a victim depends on a variety of other factors. Anger, fear, sadness, shame and joy must be processed in a healthy way early on, otherwise there is a risk of being overwhelmed with every kind of emotion for a lifetime.
4. Childhood full of changes
Kindergarten, school, secondary school and educational paths, puberty and so on. If there's one thing that's constant in childhood, it's change. If, on top of that, change takes place within the family, parents separate or bring new partners into their lives together, it can result in turmoil for a child's soul. All this has to be coped with. Again, one can be lucky and be well accompanied through all the storms. Or you may experience that you are on your own and that changes are exclusively negative in nature. The period of adolescence and puberty is particularly striking and formative, where we are exposed to a veritable flood of new stimuli, not only hormonally and physically. Friendships also change. First love enters the scene, and our role in the community must once again be found and filled. It's no wonder, then, that growing up feels as stressful as it sounds.
5. Childhood bullying
Almost every child experiences situations where they are teased or ostracized. As soon as a child stands out from the crowd in any way - all it takes is a pair of glasses or red hair - he or she is defenseless against the ridicule of other children. Depending on how long these attacks last and whether there are adults in the background who protect and intervene, even in the best case scenario an unpleasant aftertaste can remain. Cruel childhood insults are remembered for a lifetime, and what is much worse, we take them at face value. So how much worse must it be when there is no one around to offer us at least a little comfort and understanding? Childhood hurts linger, and the feeling of having to choose between being a victim or a perpetrator is not a pleasant one.
Today’s Conclusion:
Repress, forget, forgive? Unfortunately, there is no legal right to a happy childhood. In the parenting lottery, you can draw six right numbers and unfortunately also go away empty-handed. How well or poorly one is able to process childhood injuries is as individually different as each person and depends on many factors. Some people manage to lead a stable family life, at least as adults, thanks to repression. But you can never really forget emotional wounds. If you reach a point where your childhood still weighs on your shoulders like a millstone, you will not be able to avoid professional help. Some experiences weigh too heavily to be dealt with alone. Some people succeed in the art of forgiveness. They can eventually develop a perspective on past events that at least helps them understand why certain things happened the way they did. Some parents and guardians may not have been able to get out of their own skin and actually did their best, even if it wasn't nearly enough. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for life for anyone. That's it for today.