7 hidden reasons why you often feel lonely!
Enjoying being alone and suffering from loneliness are like heaven and hell. One is wonderful and exhilarating, the other is unbearable and leads us step by step towards depression and other mental states of emergency. Loneliness can make us sick in every way. It is a misconception to think that people who spend a lot of time alone are automatically lonely. It's often the party people and extroverts who suffer in silence and find even bathing in a happy, boisterous crowd to be an emotional Siberia. The crux of loneliness is that it mainly originates within us. There are very few external factors that actually have an impact here that we can actively change in our favor. There are 7 reasons why you feel lonely that we would like to share with you in this article.
1. You've traded the real world for the digital one
For quite some time now, there's been a new sheriff in town who, instead of ensuring law and order, is responsible for an excessive spread of loneliness among the population. We're talking about the Internet, of course, and especially social media platforms of all kinds. Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook and the like quickly let us drift off into a seemingly wonderful world full of possibilities. The time we spend scrolling through the digital world passes by at breakneck speed and, in addition to any sense of reality, not infrequently robs us of sleep and everything that goes with it. An unpleasant side effect of this addiction is gradual isolation. Anyone who has the most important relationship of their life with their smartphone, tablet or laptop will soon have their only relationship with them. The release of dopamine in our brains ensures that we can no longer tear ourselves away from the colorful world of images of beautiful appearances. Unfortunately, dopamine knows no limits. It encourages us to surf more and more, and to stay away from the real world for longer. There will never be a state of satisfaction. If you are feeling lonely in your life, it may be for this reason: you only continue to love in digital nimbus, but no longer in the real world. For family and friends, you've mutated into a zombie who only has a screen in front of their eyes for hours on end, but no longer takes any notice of real life.
2. Trauma or bad experiences hold you back
Children who have been burned are known to shy away from the fire. We all have bad experiences with other people. That comes with life and, above all, its inherent educational mission. Some people chalk up such crash landings to lessons or eye-opening experiences and simply move on. Some, however, have been hit so hard by their disappointment and pain that they choose solitude rather than face such a risk again.
3. You suffer from social anxiety or are extremely shy
Serious psychological stress and anxiety disorders can also be the reasons why being alone is no fun and mutates into an ice-cold prison of loneliness. Many people are shy beyond measure. They are constantly afraid of rejection or of embarrassing themselves and exposing themselves to ridicule. Those who think they don't measure up or can't meet the demands of the world outside then fatally have to cope without them. A life of seclusion and isolation is the consequence. If these fears get out of hand, professional help is urgently needed. Social phobias often lead to other psychological disorders. These can even go so far that the affected person at some point no longer even leaves the house.
4. Depression has you firmly in its grip
The vicious cycle of depression does not allow for an easy escape. Social isolation is one of the early warning signs and at the same time the reason why loneliness has an easy time with those affected. Withdrawal from friends and family automatically leads to feeling not only alone, but also abandoned. Help is often rejected. People struggling with depression find everything that has anything to do with social interaction too stressful. At the same time, the gloomy mood inside them becomes worse and worse. This creates a downward spiral that is also not easy to stop single-handedly. The disastrous thing is that loneliness can be one of the causes of depression. But the reverse is also true. So once one of these two dark chambers has opened up, the path to the second is practically mapped out.
5. Big changes ahead
We humans are creatures of habit, at least the vast majority of us, and we appreciate it when things stay the way they are. If, on the other hand, groundbreaking changes are looming on the horizon, we first react with a state of shock and play dead, which is known to work quite well in the animal kingdom in the face of danger. Automatically, we then rehearse our withdrawal from the world, because we have to think about so many things. Of course, this self-imposed time-out means that all that time alone can quickly turn into a feeling of loneliness. Instead of sharing our worries and concerns about the new situation with friends and acquaintances, we prefer to stay in the whirlpool of our wildest thoughts and feelings. At the same time, we feel as if we have been abandoned by everyone in the hours of greatest need. In reality, it is the other way around.
6. Your friends do not see or hear from you
Loneliness is not a one-way street. It always takes two sides to either serve it or fight it. If you always wait for others to pick up the phone and shake you out of your social coma, sooner or later this expectation will be disappointed. Interpersonal relationships only work in balance. If one side has to shoulder all the work, the desire to play the animator and motivational coach for others will be within manageable limits. In this day and age, it's really not difficult to stay in touch if you want to.
7. You show clear signs of burnout
Here, too, it is the same as with the chicken and the egg or the cycle of depression. Loneliness fuels burnout and vice versa. This modern form of a holistic system failure often afflicts people who only burn for their job but have no private life to speak of. They then give everything and more for the job, hoping for recognition and appreciation. But if the hamster wheel of impending burnout turns faster and faster, there is no time left for self-care and self-love, not to mention cultivating social contacts. The result: loneliness spreads in all areas of life and has free rein to unfold.
Today's Conclusion: Do you want to live or just endure?
It is up to us whether we want to live our lives to the fullest or waste each day carelessly, like the leaf of a cheap tear-off calendar. If you decide to live, it is your duty to make the best of it. You need some human contacts for that, otherwise being human unfortunately doesn't work. Take it into your own hands and don't leave it to chance. Once loneliness has a foot in your door, it's one of those uninvited guests you won't get rid of anytime soon. That's it for today. Thanks very much and see you soon.