10 Things Socially Intelligent People Always Do (but Never Talk About!)
Routine that makes you strong. The phrase “creature of habit” applies to humans and animals alike. We are the sum of all our small and big ambitions and decisions. We know that eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep are good for us. Excessive alcohol consumption, all-nighters and a life in the fast lane, on the other hand, are silent killers in the long run, bringing us closer to hitting our last hour every minute. But everyday life is not just black or white; we can decide anew every day what kind of person we want to be. Our empathy, as well as our social intelligence, help us to do so. Thanks to them, we can develop from good to even better people. But what makes the subtle difference? In this article, we'll introduce you to ten traits that socially intelligent people possess but don't advertise to the world.
1. They allow other opinions to be valid.
Social intelligence is always tolerant. People with this trait have no problem listening to others' perspectives and opinions without condemning or nullifying them. Conversations with them are always characterized by respect and a dialogue on equal footing.
2. Social intelligence does not need applause.
Interestingly, the most intelligent people are usually the most modest. Those who really have something to offer are aware of this fact, but they are also aware of their responsibility. Bragging or showing off is not in these people's nature. First of all, they don't need it and secondly, it's not in their nature to put themselves above others or in the foreground. Chronic braggarts, on the other hand, should be treated with caution. Many of their stories do not correspond to the truth or at least do not do so completely. It is not uncommon for constant self-aggrandizement to conceal an empty shell or even a toxic personality.
3. The art of listening.
If you really want to find out something about your fellow human beings and their lives, you have to listen. How many conversations end up as monologues? But a genuine exchange does not take place in that case. Socially intelligent people like to let their counterparts have their say and listen attentively. In this way, they not only learn a lot about others, but also about themselves. If you really want to be one of life's clever people, you never stop learning. Moreover, the art of listening makes us likable and makes us appear more attractive. As a result, we will rarely have trouble connecting or succeeding in the company of others.
4. They know they know nothing.
This point sounds strange, but it is true to the facts. Someone who can call real intelligence his own knows that his knowledge is limited. He or she has recognized that his or her own perspective on the world is only one of many. Social intelligence also means recognizing and accepting one's own limitations. We all know the exact opposite of this mindset: it even has a name The two researchers David Dunning and Justin Kruger have given their name to the mistaken belief of being omniscient: the Dunning-Kruger effect.
5. Don't have a clue? No problem.
When socially intelligent people realize in the course of a conversation that they have no idea about the topic they have just discussed, they use a simple rhetorical trick. Of course, they could simply admit that this topic is foreign to them, but there is an even smarter way. They simply repeat what was said last in their own words. This allows them to bring up the point again and perhaps shed some light on it. An opportunity to learn something new is something they know to value. But be careful with this trick! It’s not meant to parrot your conversational partner. And don’t risk being perceived of as making fun of what the other party is saying. But whoever masters this technique kills two birds with one stone: The knowledge gap is filled and everyone present feels heard in this round of talks. Because this modus operandi also counts as active listening.
6. Give criticism, prejudices and clichés a break.
What is so pleasant about talking to socially intelligent people is their tolerance. You can confidently open up to them without having to think long and hard about how what they say will be received at the other end. Social intelligence rejects everything that moves in the direction of prejudices or clichés. We all know those contemporaries who put their own opinion above any other. They think that they know the answer to all questions and that they alone can always get everything right and without mistakes. Such people are not only not very popular, they should be evaded, like speed traps you want to miss at all costs.
7. They practice active listening.
Smart people don't push themselves to the forefront. When they communicate with someone, they therefore like to ask questions and always give their counterpart the feeling that they are all ears and fully involved. Socially intelligent people are very familiar with the small but subtle difference between active listening and curious intrusion. We have no idea how much loneliness there is all around us. Once we are in conversation with someone who is obviously interested in our story, we can hardly believe our luck. Social intelligence and social commitment therefore often work hand in hand.
8. They don’t wallow in self-pity.
Those who have been blessed with social intelligence already have reason enough to rejoice. But this group of people is also characterized by an additional plus point: They have no need to afflict their fellow human beings with their suffering and sorrow in epic breadth. Whining is alien to these people. On the one hand, they know that it is not effective anyway and only makes things or their state of mind worse. On the other hand, social intelligence also knows the unwritten laws of the social playing field all too well. People talk about personal matters only to a socially acceptable extent. Indiscretions of any kind are taboo.
9. Your questions give room for answers.
In conversation with socially intelligent people, questions will hardly ever be asked that put the others present up against a wall or that are formulated as leading questions. Even "yes" or "no" as an answer is too little for smart contemporaries. They greatly appreciate gaining added value for themselves and their knowledge in every conversation. Other people benefit from the fact that someone shows genuine interest in them for once. This win-win situation inspires and makes socially intelligent people popular and welcome guests.
10. Empathy is writ large.
It's no wonder really: people who show genuine interest in their surroundings, actively listen and can allow other opinions to be valid are empathetic people. This ability is strengthened with every social interaction and every conversation, if you allow it. On the other hand, those who go through life with blinders on and only focus on their own person will never be able to perfect their empathy.
Today’s Conclusion
Social intelligence: it’s a real superpower. Malicious tongues will claim that socially intelligent people just know when silence is appropriate. In fact, it can sometimes make sense to say nothing rather than the wrong thing. In daily interaction with each other, however, tolerance and acceptance are two important companions that should not be missing in any conversation.