WHY You Should Never Say THESE Things to Anyone!

Some things are better left unsaid. You may know the saying, “A word spoken and a stone thrown cannot be taken back.” There's a lot of truth in this. Both kinds of damage are irreparable. The term “social intelligence” mainly refers to one important ability, knowing when to shut up. In the interpersonal realm, it is not always easy. We can quickly feel pushed into a corner or treated unfairly. Emotions sometimes boil over and, unfortunately, so do our words. We often speak much faster than we think. This is human nature and such thoughtless statements are often followed by a sincere apology. However, there are some things you should avoid doing at all costs if possible. We would like to introduce you to nine of these unspeakable acts in this article.

1. But that's not a problem!

It may sound harmless, but it isn’t. In a sense, by belittling the worries and concerns of those around us, we demean them as individuals. The personal assessment of a situation as problematic or difficult must always be viewed as an individual judgment on the behalf of the person involved. Additionally, by making such a premature assessment, we also question the judgment of others. Anyone who reacts particularly sensitively in this regard could even take it as a criticism of their personal competence.

2. You can't say it like that!

Yes, you can. And others can too. Anyone who wants to stop people from speaking their mind should move to North Korea or set up their own little dictatorship somewhere in the desert. Such individuals are already in their own dessert of empathy.. There are many human rights that should never be broken. Freedom of expression is undoubtedly one of them. Anyone who makes others feel personally attacked by their words should surely find other ways to communicate their thoughts. But nobody should be silenced. 

3. You are way too negative.

This sentence, in short, has several issues in itself, even if it doesn't sound that problematic at first glance. With the statement that someone is too negative, one is referring to the person themselves, not to what they said or their opinion. So you practically brandish the whole person as negative, and nobody wants that. On the other hand, such a sentence also implies that we do not take the concerns or comments of this person seriously. We only hear the skepticism and the doubts in what they say, but not the actual message.

4. I'm sorry for you, but...

Here, too, we subliminally tell the other person that they are actually not particularly important to us. A simple "I'm sorry" on the other hand would be much more effective and would be more likely to help. In this formulation, however, the focus is very clearly on the fact that this person is the only one who view it as a problem, suggesting it is not a real issue in the eyes of others. By saying this, we take the wind out of their sails and make it impossible for them to argue further. Also, this comment clearly says "This is your problem, not mine, so it doesn't concern me".

5. Don't be so squeamish!

Wimp, crybaby or whiner. Comments like these are anything but flattering. Accusing someone of weakness is not only unfair and intrusive but something we are simply not entitled to do. If you don't have anything better to say in a crisis than "get it together", you should just shut up and make yourself useful in some other way.

6. Everything happens for a reason.

This sentence only becomes problematic when you know the context. Basically, there's nothing wrong with personally viewing life as a series of events that add up to make sense. Viewed as a philosophical principle and spiritual way of life, this approach can even save lives and give many people a new sense of themselves. But in the case of a personal tragedy, a stroke of ill fated bad luck in the family or when a tragic misfortune has befallen someone close, this choice of words can sound like pure cynicism and sheer mockery. Even if the statement is true, it doesn't help anyone right now. At most, it shows coldness and a distinct lack of compassion.

7. Just ignore it!

While this tip doesn't offend the person the request is addressed to, it's not exactly helpful either. If the problem could simply be ignored, he or she would certainly have figured this out on their own. Instead, the problem obviously bothers this person enough that they feel they have to get rid of it. This useless piece of advice merely advises the individual to give someone or something else the "silent treatment" and not how to deal with the problem itself.

8. You made that up!

With this sentence, we accuse our counterpart of a lie. Such accusations are not only offensive, but they overstep the bounds of decency and really shouldn't take place between adults. Insinuating that someone made something up leads to an uproar that cannot be quickly resolved. But we not only question the honesty of another person with this statement, we also criticize their perception and judgment. There is almost no faster and surer way to devalue and degrade another person than to accuse them of not telling the truth.

9. You're way too emotional.

Telling someone how they should feel is intruding upon their subjective perception. Doubting or denying someone's feelings is not permissible in any situation. Emotions are a deeply personal matter. How could an outsider really know how someone else feels at any particular moment? Not everyone is as strong as a rock, has nerves of steel, or can just bounce back from adversity. Criticizing someone for being too sensitive and trying to persuade them not to be is an attack on their personal emotional mindset. 

Today’s Conclusion today

Only thoughts are free of consequences. Words can be very hurtful. Ideally, we will have already learnt this by the end of kindergarten, where thinking about how we can be together without hurting others should be an important part of the learning process. Degrading people with your words and giving them the impression that their feelings are not important is a death warrant for any healthy relationship. We can think of whatever we like. But we shouldn't always say it. At least not if we don't want to eke out a lonely, bitter and completely isolated existence from the rest of the world because they do not consider us to be socially acceptable. According to a well-known quote, people find the truth quite reasonable. But who decides which person’s truth is the right one? That's it for today. Thank you and see you soon.