This Is How To Handle Difficult People! (It Works!)
Toxic personalities, energy drainers, manipulators. These are only 3 of the possible character types that can make your life quite difficult, and the closer you let them get to your life and to you, the more difficult they are to be finally rid of. Unfortunately, difficult people don't have warning labels stuck to their foreheads to forewarn us. However, they all have one sure identifying feature in common. Sooner or later, we no longer feel comfortable in their company. Since life is known to be too short for bad wine and bad company, you should take action as soon as possible and take the wind out of the sails of negative people. It is important to remain consistent and not to change your mind once you have made a decision. Difficult people love nothing more in the world than to have others dance to their tune. In this article, we explain which approaches are particularly suitable for putting difficult people in their place.
1. Problem Recognized, Problem Solved
As always, recognizing a problem as such is half the battle. If every encounter costs you an inordinate amount of energy, if you constantly left with a guilty conscience, if you feel ready to become a hermit, or if you consider seeking admission to the nearest mental hospital after every conversation, it's not your fault. Our intuition basically knows everything. It just sometimes takes a little longer for its knowledge to reach our brain and be processed accordingly. If your gut feeling clearly advises you against continuing to meet with these people, you should believe it. It is also important to listen to long-time friends, family members, and companions when they quickly throw up a stop sign in front of us to warn us about individuals. Outsiders can also objectively see things which we cannot after we’ve already been overwhelmed by feelings, blinded, and successfully brought to our knees.
2. Asking Should Cost Nothing
Manipulative people don't like it when you try to figure out their game. They like to make people dance like puppets and artfully use their verbal strings like a spider uses his web. But if someone questions their actions, they quickly become upset. They are not used to critical examination and resistance. A harmless "why" can throw them off track. The reason is simple: They have no logical answer. They love to drive other people to the brink of madness with pitfalls and emotional blackmail. However, their schemes only work as long as no one can see behind the facade. Stopping verbal attacks is therefore quite easy. Why, why, why? The string-puller will feel uncomfortable, put on the spot, and will leave in a huff in search of easier prey.
3. Let Time Work for You
What toxic personalities and narcissists like to do to their victims also works quite well in reverse: the tactic of leaving the other person hanging is a popular mind game and works just about every time. Those who think they can treat you badly, sabotage you, or manipulate you, simply won't get any more feedback from you. The best way to handle toxic invectives in the long run is to refuse to accept them. Negative characters absolutely need a stage for their acting. Without a counterpart to play with, their show comes to a stop. Breaking off all contact, staying out of the way, and letting time work for you are reliable tools for dealing with such people.
4. Learn to Say "No"
Especially in relationships, it is difficult to deny the other person a wish. However, a romance can only grow and flourish if give and take are not one-way streets. If one side always has to give in or handle all the day-to-day burdens alone, something is out of whack. The same applies to people who only get in touch when they are in bad straits, they have an ongoing drama for which they need an audience, or they simply need a mental dumpster for their current problems. Empathic people in particular often end up on these people's speed dial and have a correspondingly difficult time recognizing when they are being taken advantage of. Again, self-care comes before concern for others. Anyone who feels increasingly uncomfortable in relation to such people should cut off contact. You don't need to create a dramatic scene to do this. A simple, clear and unequivocal “no” must suffice. Simply letting such people run off into the sunset afterwards is quite sufficient. These people won't bother to question your actions. You are not important enough for them. They will quickly find a replacement for you and a new victim for their mind games.
5. Love It, Change It, or Leave It
Life with difficult people is especially grueling and sometimes almost hopeless when feelings for them are involved. Recognizing partners as toxic personalities is no easy task. Drawing conclusions from this recognition is even more difficult. It often takes years to free oneself from the emotional jungle of carrots and sticks, emotional blackmail, empty promises, and recurring disappointments and injuries. It is not uncommon to be confronted with the accusation of simply giving up and not giving the relationship a chance. There is absolutely no point in agreeing to giving toxic people one more chance. The ones they already got were just not perceived and should certainly not just proceed one after another to infinity. Another misconception in interpersonal life also says that we can change people. Unfortunately, or thank God, this is not true. In order to change, an individual must be able and willing to change himself. Those who hope to help others develop into better people will unfortunately be proven to be mistaken. Life is too short for lazy compromises. Love it, change it, or leave it behind.
Today's Conclusion: Difficult People Are Just People
Fortunately they are, otherwise life with them would be one big nightmare. Therefore, you can use their weaknesses to either put them in their proper place or make them disappear completely from your environment. Their sharpest weapon is the attention we pay to them. So as soon as we notice that some people are simply not good for us, we should limit contact with them to the absolute minimum necessary. If their verbal attacks go unheard and their psychological dodges are unsuccessful, they will quickly lose their taste for wasting their dark tricks on us. The best thing to do is to give them the cold shoulder. Anything beyond that would be a waste of time and energy. Revenge fantasies should also be avoided. How bad people treat us is their karma. How we deal with it is ours. That's it for today.