How to Get YOUR Life Back on Track When Things Are Out of Control
Back in the saddle! Sometimes our lives run away with us. We are literally caught off guard and events come crashing down. Professional chaos and personal stress then have to be juggled to the best of our ability. At some point, completely powerless, we just switch to autopilot and try to keep the balls in the air. So in this article, we'll show you a few tricks and thought-provoking ideas that can help you regain control of your life.
1. Give yourself some time off
This is easier said than done. But how else are you going to find the leaks in the hull that are mercilessly depriving your life of its functionality? Most likely there will be a moment when you want to throw everything away, anyway. Do it rationally and withdraw from the world for a few hours at least.
2. Gather your support network around you
Everyone has family members and friends they can always count on. When the going gets tough, asking for help is the only alternative. Even though you may not be used to it, there is absolutely no shame in accepting help.
3. be good to yourself
Stop blaming yourself for the negative developments in your life. We’re pretty sure you did your best, it just wasn't enough this time. Silence your inner critics and focus on your successes to this date. Your record isn't that bad!
4. Recognize toxic relationship patterns
These creep into our lives insidiously. At some point, however, they see their time coming and take the reins out of our hands. We can experience toxic relationships privately and professionally. Both varieties have their pitfalls, because there is no quick escape. Anyone who has become involved with a manipulative partner or partners can only hope to run. This hell never ends by itself. Professionally, we sometimes have to be more strategic, because the workplace can harbor the wrong people with protection and backing. A clarifying conversation with superiors is the first step in the right direction. Some companies offer mediation or supervised negotiations. Both ideas are laudable and can yield results. However, anyone who has dealt with toxic characters knows that in most cases, the only permanent solution is a clean break.
5. Gauge your financial situation
As we all know, money isn’t everything, but without money there is nothing. One of the most common reasons for total chaos in life is debt and financial shortage. Although it’s no rarity, this burden weighs so heavily on our minds that we often can’t see a quick way out. But there is one, and it's called taking stock of your finances. Sit down in a quiet minute and review your finances over the last three months. Look especially at the payments and mark those that are absolutely necessary. This way you can see if the problem can be solved with a self-imposed savings plan. If this is not the case, a second job can help at least until the financial hole is plugged to some extent. The easier way, however, is usually to take a critical look at one's own consumption behavior.
6. Clear the decks at the workplace
Unfortunately, our globalized and thoroughly digital times pack an unpleasant side effect. Smartphones, laptops, and the like make us constantly available and thus, conveniently, always at work. Very few people now recognize a definite end to the day, one that clearly draws the line between work and personal life. Here lurks one of the pitfalls that plunges us into the abyss and threatens to take away control over our lives. If you don't want to go to the dogs, you have to convince the alpha dogs on the job that your life is not just about work. These negotiations are unpleasant, tedious, and there’s no guarantee of success. But if you want to regain control over your life, you have to start with your personal work-life balance. No job in the world is worth sacrificing your health or personal life for.
7. Sometimes you have to take the consequences
Of course, jumping off a merry-go-round doesn’t happen without bruises. Unpleasant situations require unpleasant solutions to stop the chain reaction. This fact must be clear to us if we truly want to free ourselves from the stranglehold. There will have to be unpleasant conversations. But the alternative is that we continue to be victims of circumstance in a life that is no longer of our choosing. This is where good preparation and strong willpower score points. It's best to practice these conversations in advance to be able to cushion emotions in the best possible way.
8. Investigate the causes instead of the blame
Especially when things get out of hand, we have a strong tendency, in the heat of the moment, to place blame on others. The opening hours of the daycare center, the colleagues in the office, the lazy partner who can never put his things away, and so on. However, the problem may lie somewhere else entirely. Perhaps we have simply silently endured all of these things that are now falling heavily on our shoulders and, as we all know, silence is considered approval. Many a vicious circle has been made in order to avoid offending someone or to spare ourselves discussions. Many people allow themselves to be led around by the nose for a long time for this very reason, because they want to be liked and fear losing popularity. All of that is perfectly fine, as long as it doesn't bury us at some point.
9. Be specific and very clear
Once you've identified the problem or the leak that's flooding you like a torpedoed ship, action is but one thing you can do. The first thing to do is actually address the problem clearly. It’s essential to be as precise as possible. What exactly are the circumstances that have led to the current precarious situation? Who or what has to change so that this chaos doesn’t become a permanent state? Following from the previous point: Do not automatically regard everything as the fault of others. Your life has only one captain and one pilot, and that’s you.
10. Self-care must become your guiding principle
What is it that you need? No one else can take self-love away from us, but we can set clear boundaries externally. A "no" now and then is more healing for body, mind, and soul than a week of detox, and it's totally free. Do you need a daily time-out that's just yours? Then make time for just that.
Our conclusion
Control is good, but happiness is better. Even the organizational geniuses among us experience times of total breakdown. No one always has everything in view and all the balls up in the air at once. Life is a succession of challenges that we have to face to the best of our abilities. Sometimes people wrest control from us and prove to be toxic offenders. Weigh whether fight or flight is the better choice here. If you must choose between control and happiness, choose wisely.