DON’T Waste Your Valuable Time on People Who Are NOT Good for You!

Time spent with people who hurt you is time wasted. Your life belongs to you. This does not mean that you should become an egoist. But when you come to rest and reflect on your thoughts, you may consider which people are good for you and which are not. In all areas of life, such as family, friends, school, studies, work and sports, there will be people who drain you and rob you of energy. It gets really bad when you are frequently hurt by the same person. Everyone says some things in the heat of the moment, even something discouraging or nasty. This shouldn't be a reason to permanently break off contact. But if you feel consistently bad in the presence of a certain person, because this person hurts you over and over again, and having conversations with them has not helped, then it's time to cut this disagreeable person out of your life. In this article, we'll introduce you to how you can recognize people who are wasting your time and why it's sometimes better to walk away from them. 

People who hurt you can change you

It you are a confident, upstanding person with only good intentions for yourself and the world, then guard those qualities like a treasure. People in your life who are always teasing, especially on a subject known to cause you pain, are not good for you or your mental health. They unsettle you, and rob you of your self-confidence and strength. If you are repeatedly hurt and humiliated, it can have far-reaching consequences for your character, in addition to the pain you feel. Many sufferers feel the same pain towards other people after some time. Others withdraw or believe what the bully tells them. This is wrong. Many sufferers become hard on themselves and others when they are frequently hurt. Sometimes just a single word hits the other person to the core. How deeply that word can trigger negative emotions also depends on the tone and context. You should remain the lovable person that you are, with firm opinions, stable self-esteem and a good sense for the feelings of others with your unique personality. People are social beings who form friendships, partnerships and other connections with people who can cause them psychological harm. For this reason, it’s important to pay attention to who you surround yourself with. Remember: people who hurt you do not deserve to be around you. We all know such people who are repeatedly bullied and mistreated by others. Regardless of this, these people still keep being around those who hurt them. This phenomenon can be observed especially in committed relationships. One partner treats the other badly and yet the aggrieved person remains attached to their partner. Now it is understandable that one does not give up a marriage or a relationship of many years from one day to the next. But if all communication with your partner fails and they still continue to hurt you, then leave. Your partner does not deserve you. Free yourself from their clutches and do not excuse this impossible behavior with good sides or shared beautiful experiences from the past. A person who loves does not hurt his partner. But also, friends and family members should not constantly tease and belittle you. You do not have to tolerate such behavior because it’s disrespectful. If a clarifying conversation is not successful, but you are not able to ban a family member from your life, you can still reduce the contact to a minimum. Let's answer the question of where this act of lack of empathy comes from in the first place. Children learn through a good social environment that a certain level of empathy, understanding for other peoples feelings, is the basis of a good life. However, it seems this way of thinking has not reached all minds even to this day. Empathy-resistant people mindlessly bully others. The sad reality is that these violations against others transcends all classes and cultural circles, and no one is immune from becoming a victim. On the other hand, probably very few people can say of themselves, "I would never hurt anyone." The important thing is, when it happens, to address things and absolutely come clean. Some people are also aware of what they are doing to others. Still, even with the best of intentions, some fail to give their friends and family the respect they need on a permanent basis. They always put their own concerns above those of others. Even in the case of family members, partners or close friends, the motto is: anyone who hurts you does not deserve you. People who are self-centered and lack empathy can put a lot of psychological strain on you. They often do not feel empathy for others. So take the only right step. Try to talk to them. In the worst case, you might think about breaking off such a relationship with a family member if he or she has seriously hurt your feelings. Of course, this is difficult, but soon after ending contact you will feel better and freed. Nevertheless, be forgiving with people who hurt others. Because often the starting point for lack of empathy lies in your own family. When children grow up in a family where positive values are not upheld and toxic communication is the order of the day, in many cases this is adopted by the child. In adulthood it is difficult to correct. In childhood, teachers, educators and the right friends can be key in counteracting this. The child then notices that something is wrong in his family and learns what it means to appreciate the emotions of others. Therefore, if you have a negative connection with someone because of a severe transgression, you should try to be lenient. That being said, even when it comes to love, you do not have to put up with it forever, because in a sincerely cherished relationship there is no room for hurt from your partner.

But how do you let go of grievances? 

Many sensitive people suffer all their lives from the injuries inflicted on them by others. Do you also rob yourself of much of your precious time by brooding over why a person could hurt you so? Do you feel strongly hurt, and find it inconsiderate, mean and unfair? After a mental injury, you can feel physical symptoms such as restlessness and anxiety, which can even affect the internal organs. In order to better deal with a grievance, and possibly repair the relationship that has gone awry, you can do the following:

1. when you feel hurt, check if you have correctly understood what the other person wanted to say to you.

2. talk to the so-called offender about your feelings and wishes.

3. put yourself in the other person's place

4. even if it is difficult, look for the possible motive of the person, why they treated you like that.

5. distinguish between facts and opinion

6. consider how important the negative event really is for you

7. writing helps: Write down your feelings and thoughts about the matter

8. consider for yourself the importance of this relationship

9. explore possible reasons that the grievance bothered you so deeply

Probably the most important tip is to spend time with people who make you happy. You know that good feeling? You meet a person for the first time and they inspire positive energy in you? That could be a friend. You don't need to keep people who hurt you in your life. There are many people out there with positive qualities. Especially if someone from your inner circle has hurt you, the newly started contact shows you "you are worth being a friend". Meeting people must make you happy. Even the anticipation of meeting people from your circle will be positively accompanied. Surround yourself much more often with people who make you feel good. If you feel uncomfortable around a difficult individual, you should cut this relationship short. Often it is simply carelessness that we hurt the very people we like the most. In any case, do not badmouth the other person. When a contact is terminated, the bad thoughts should also be finished. 

Today’s Conclusion: Personal injuries by people close to us weigh particularly heavily

But then we might ask ourselves: are we ourselves completely free of this? Have we ourselves ever hurt another person? Then the whole thing loses some of its weight. Beyond that, it depends on the person who caused the grievance with you. If it is a kind person who is otherwise open, sincere and a true friend, then consider whether you really want to break off this contact. If it is someone who repeatedly shows their bad side and causes unpleasant feelings in you, then draw the line. Of course, this is just a recommendation. In the end, it is always you who decides. That's it for today.