Do THIS When YOU Have to Deal With a Highly Aggressive Person!
They are distrustful, thin-skinned, constantly in a bad mood and permanently on the defensive. Aggressive people go through life with a clenched fist, always ready to fight and looking for conflicts to rub up against and let off steam. Many of these people only feel alive when they can break out of a solid argument. Therefore, unfortunately, they hardly ever let a situation go unused in everyday life to show their teeth and sharpen their claws. They also tend to start nasty rumors and spread toxic gossip. If you are not for them, you are against them. Once you have incurred their displeasure, you are on the list of sworn mortal enemies, with no chance of reprieve. We have to work and sometimes, unfortunately, live with these immensely difficult characters. Those who can, avoid them wholesale. Those who do not have this option must find good ways to arm themselves against them without perishing themselves. We'll introduce you to 7 conflict-free ways to get along with these aggressive and dangerous people in this article.
1. Realize who you're dealing with.
It is a shock to see aggressive behavior in people with whom we have had the privilege of living together in harmony and without conflict. It doesn't matter whether it's the nice superiors in the new job who suddenly drop their mask or the new partner who reveals his true self. Once the floodgates of an emotional overreaction have been opened, we unfortunately have to assume that this will not remain a one-time slip. Those who have so little control over themselves and their feelings that wild scenes including abusive insults and perhaps even destructive actions are openly acted out, have a problem. Right. She or he has a problem, not the person who triggered this behavior. However, the difficult question now is whether one wants to continue dancing on this thin ice. Unfortunately, our response is never ready for other people very quickly, especially if we are attached to them or maybe even in love with them. But the fact is: evil has been unleashed and has shown its dark side. Now here are 2 things that need to be made clear: A) If you snap once and go off the deep end, you will do it again and again. B) You cannot change this person, not even the love of the whole world could accomplish this. You're going to have a hard time believing that, professionally or personally. You've invested and taken on a lot to get this far. Just giving up suits very few of us. But working and especially living with a highly aggressive person will take a lot out of you and may even become dangerous for you over time. If you throw bad words around, you will soon do it with objects. The question is not whether this situation will repeat itself and escalate. The question is when.
2. Be aware that they are very sensitive and always ready to fight.
If you decide to stay or can't help it at the moment, unfortunately you will have to stay on your guard. You can't have a sensible discussion with aggressive people. They are so thin-skinned and sensitive that they can take every word, every look and every audible breath the wrong way. As long as you don't know the triggers that make them explode, it's better to keep as low a profile as possible. Being around such human powder kegs unfortunately requires you to be as invisible and neutral as possible.
3. Avoid anything they might take as criticism.
Those who have to work or live in conflict-laden relationships permanently go through life as if they were on eggshells. Expressing your own opinion is just as dangerous as anything that could somehow be construed as criticism by the difficult person opposite you. Even compliments can be misunderstood. Not to mention humorous comments or friendly, casual remarks. If you want to avoid scenes, you need to dive under the radar of these hyper-sensitive people and preferably not even show up on their screen.
4. Appeasing doesn't work
Relationships with aggressive partners are particularly difficult and painful. Usually, at some point, it doesn't stop with the ugly scenes and angry outbursts being confined to our own 4 walls. In the presence of third parties, we then find it particularly difficult not to want to intervene and appease. And, of course, we feel ashamed. Trying to take on the role of mediator and calm the situation can quickly turn into a boomerang. You are openly opposing them in front of witnesses. It's better to stay calm and keep a low profile until the storm has passed.
5. Take their feelings seriously
If such outbursts are the order of the day in partnerships, try to understand the feelings that bring these people to this point. Seek to talk to them and convey that you care about them.
6. Explain to them what they are doing to you.
But not only should the feelings of others be worth mentioning in this dangerous power construct, yours absolutely must as well. If these dramas are happening in the context of a partnership, explain to your counterpart how you feel every time she or he loses control. Have this conversation exactly once.
7. Set boundaries and announce consequences.
At work, you can quit when conditions become unbearable. Privately, we find this many times more difficult, especially when there are really still deep feelings involved. If friendly and understanding manner does not bring any improvement or insight, you must definitely give priority to self-protection. Explain calmly what consequences you will draw if the behavior does not change fundamentally or therapy is at least considered. Do not let yourself be fobbed off with empty promises and tearful words of love. Emotionally derailed people can control their emotions quite well, if need be, at least well enough to lull us into a temporary sense of security. Think carefully about whether such a life on a minefield is really what you want. If you decide to leave, do not announce this ultimate step. Prepare an orderly retreat and leave without drama and without much explanation.
Today’s Conclusion: Understanding - yes, but in moderation.
Every adult human being has to fight battles inside himself, while those around him are oblivious. From tiny to unbearable, the range of problems and conflicts, health impairments and existential worries knows no limit. Aggressive people do not always think about it when they make our lives difficult. Much of it arises from a reaction that has been trained for a long time. But they, too, are adults. They, too, once learned what decent interaction on equal footing should look like. You are honored if you can sympathize with these difficult characters, but do so in moderation. You owe them nothing, especially your peace of mind. That's all for today.