Why Doesn’t He Write Even Though He Likes Me?

There's almost nothing more grueling than sitting next to your smartphone waiting for a certain message or that one phone call. As soon as we meet a stunning man - and there aren't too many of those already - a kind of romantic automatism runs in our brain. We would know the next steps already quite exactly, end station dream wedding included. But then this guy simply throws a wrench in the gears by not getting in touch. Unfortunately, new acquaintances often have this interaction. And especially in the age of 24-hour communication options, it wouldn't be too much to ask to send a text or voice message in our direction. At least then we would know that the butterflies in our stomach and the feeling of hope are not just imagined. There can be many reasons why he doesn't get back to us. In this article, we would like to present you the most common and obvious ones.

1. He’s not interested

Let's start with the obvious. If a man you've recently met and who knows your name and phone number doesn't get in touch, it's for the simplest reason in the world: he's not interested. As so aptly described in the best-selling book, "He's Just Not That Into You," a man who is in love, or at least interested, knows no obstacles and will spare no expense or effort in getting closer to his flame. If you hear hooves clattering, it is in the vast majority of cases a horse and not a zebra. In other words, the obvious case is often closest to the truth. 

2. He is an old school gentleman

Maybe you've been doubly lucky with your new acquaintance and landed the last gentleman? Many people, especially those who are no longer very young, reject modern communication media. WhatsApp, texting and the like are not authentic and romantic enough for them to aim their steps in your direction. He might call you or send you flowers with a message. Things like that do indeed still happen, even outside of movies and romance novels. 

3. He is undecided

Men are spoiled for choice, just like us women, by the way. Tinder and social media platforms make it easy for us to make new acquaintances. This oversupply leads to the notorious FOMO effect. Fear of Missing Out describes the fear of missing out on the better in favor of the good and obvious. If he doesn't get back to you right away, he may be looking at other options. This prospect is not pretty and speaks volumes as to the level of his infatuation. But reality has unfortunately mutated into a shark tank when it comes to love, and we have to make the best of it. 

4. Your signals were not clear enough

Yes, there are also shy and reserved men who do not immediately fall with the bedroom door into the house. The sensitive ones have done it to us women, as is well known, but here we must then also reckon with communication problems and teething troubles. You don't have to throw yourself at this attractive character right away, but a few clear signs could perhaps not hurt to help him on his way. Make the first move and drop him a few nice lines. The more specific you ask for a meeting, the sooner you'll know if he's interested in you. 

5. He's deliberately making you squirm

Men, too, are tacticians in love. This is not a dubious prerogative of the ladies. The particularly self-confident ones usually check it out immediately when they have aroused our interest. They enjoy this courtship ritual and want to delay the phase of hunting and conquering as long as possible. This also includes the "hard-to-get game". Some men occasionally make a devilish joke out of letting the object of their desire starve to death, only to go on the full-scale attack when hope is almost extinguished at the other end of the dead line. We don't have to like such games, but love awakens the best and worst sides of us. 

6. No time means no interest

If you ask why he doesn't get in touch, don't be fooled with the mother of all excuses. No time or too much stress means no interest in every world, in every galaxy and in every culture of this earth. If a man is interested in you, he will drop everything else just to meet you. The secret of interpersonal attraction is essentially based on a millennia-old interplay of hormones and visual and other stimuli that we either go for or don't go for. Love between a man and a woman may be many things, but it is not complicated by nature. We make it so with our thinking. 

7. He is afraid of rejection

Here we are already on rather thin, highly speculative ice. But for the sake of completeness and fairness, we should also mention the type of man who has a really hard time in love. Men also sometimes suffer from a lack of self-esteem and do not know their market value in the dating sector. We always think: only women torment inferiority complexes and are afraid of rejection. But this is not true, of course. There may not be too many men who still need to armor their once-broken heart when dealing with new acquaintances. But they do exist, and one should not leave this possible reason for radio silence unmentioned. 

8. He is the freedom loving type

If you have been in contact with each other for a long time or maybe you have even started a relationship, a lean communication behavior of the man can have a quite plausible reason. He loves his freedom and does not appreciate a short leash. This mindset has nothing to do with him not liking you or appreciating you. He's just reached a point in his life where his space is important to him. Close communication and being available to others, even you, 24 hours a day contradicts this urge for independence. Probably, or quite probably, you are not the only one who has to wait longer than usual for feedback from him. Maybe he's also one of the technology refusers and prefers to keep his smartphone in his pocket rather than constantly glancing at it. Not all people are fused to their cell phones like Siamese twins. Just pay attention to his behavior when you're together. If the cell phone remains missing, the message block has nothing to do with you, but reflects a principle and a state of mind. 

Today's Conclusion: No answer is also an answer

Of course, it depends very much on the individual case how you want to handle this tricky situation of not knowing. You can use the bulldozer method and force him to answer you until it happens. But don't hope for resounding success with this. If you are tired of waiting and doing nothing, write him a short message. Anything else is unworthy and borders on desperation. Besides, nothing beats men to the punch faster than putting their backs against the wall. No one appreciates an ultimatum, do they? Before you mutate into a wrecking ball, better stay the forbidden fruit and out of reach for him. That way, you won't get a date either, but you'll keep your dignity and pride. That's it for today.