Do THIS When Your Relationship Gets Boring!
When the rose-colored glasses break. Imagine if, from now on, Hollywood only made romance movies that started after the happy ending. We then watch Harry and Sally argue about who's going to take out the garbage, Johnny and Baby discuss weekend arrangements, and Cinderella and her prince eventually complete the renovation of their castle, all 333 rooms. No one would go to the movies anymore. But it is precisely this romantic and emotionally overloaded image that has always given us a completely false idea of love and relationships. We fall in love fiercely, love each other dearly and after about 2 to 7 years - according to statistics - the air goes out of cloud 9. This development is the norm, no one is really to blame. Relationship work is called that because from this point on it can actually feel like work. But if you want to maintain the partnership, you can't do it alone. Even boredom is a matter of equality in relationships. But why is it that way? Does it have to be that way? And: Will it stay that way? What can we do about it, so that the lull in the sea of love gets a fresh wave? We'd like to give you some tips in this article.
1. Why does love get boring?
Short answer: because life gets in the way. At the beginning of a relationship, we do our best to give our full attention to our new partner. We pay attention to our appearance, plan surprises, and strive to be as exciting and appealing to each other as possible. Eroticism is equally prominent at the beginning of a new love affair. The more physical contact and intimacy we cultivate, the better the bonding hormone oxytocin can do its job. More sex actually means more felt connection to each other. Over time, everyday life then breaks in on the tingling and new romantic phase. So strictly speaking, love doesn't go away, it slowly wanes. When children and challenging professional obligations are added to the overall equation, the relationship of two people is no longer the sun in this universe. Organizational matters and routine take over, where at the beginning of this romance it was all passion and confessions and weak knees. Of course, we can still love each other with all our hearts, no question about that, but love rarely is first and foremost in our minds anymore. Sometimes it even says goodbye, secretly.
2. Why do we fall out of love?
Step one - the routine and the fulfillment of duty - is unfortunately followed by step two. Those who no longer make time and space available for love will sooner or later drive it away. Of course, some couples still manage to stay together. The children they share are their main, sometimes even the only motivation for doing so. But people in such arrangements hardly have any real, deep feelings for each other anymore. An only marginal sex life and no more quality time together as a couple are usually the main reasons why we no longer feel real affection for each other. But love, thank God, is not a well that once dried up, has dried up forever. It can be revived. The most important prerequisite for this is: We must be aware of the need for it and both sides must be interested in it.
3. How do we reboot love?
When a relationship has become dull and dreary, you have to get to the root of the evil. After all, if you love, you feel that every day at the side of your loved one is a wonderful celebration. Only when love has left the partnership does everyday life become tedious, being together a duty and every routine a hell. So we have to bring love back out of the woodwork, and then our romance will prevail. Probably the best and most important tip at this point comes from the life coach and motivational trainer Tony Robbins: If you do what you did at the beginning of this relationship, there will be no end. So what was it about the beginning of our love that solidified it (at 5:19 sound issues/repeat) and led to a stable partnership? That's right, dating, romantic encounters, and pleasurable hours of togetherness. Many couples simply stop dating over time. They let each evening end on the couch in front of the TV and talk, if at all, only about the kids or their jobs. Thankfully, though, the magic of getting to know someone doesn't go away. However, we need to make room for it. A fixed date night per month or week must become a compulsory exercise for both sides in the future. This does not require expensive restaurants or gifts. But there must be time for two and it must be dedicated to the relationship and partnership, not to the next parent-teacher conference, grandma's birthday or the question of who can take the car in for repair. The advanced variant of dating, if you like, are surprise dates. In this case, each half of the whole alternately, but regularly prepare a surprise meeting. In addition to the quality time spent together, the effect of the new and unknown is added here. Engaging in new experiences together strengthens a relationship and reliably rekindles extinguished feelings. These innovative engagements don't have to be a matter of life and death; perhaps not everyone enjoys a ride in a hot air balloon or a round of bungee jumping.
4. Using innovation to combat boredom.
No marriage or partnership is a foregone conclusion. Every interpersonal relationship requires a certain amount of dedication and willingness to compromise. However, if the emotional basis is right and you basically agree that you want to continue looking in the same direction together, it occasionally needs an update. However, a refresher course in love is not so easy to book. You have to prescribe it yourself. Couples who keep their curiosity for each other also discover new sports, hobbies or other activities together. Challenge each other and never tire of discovering new sides to the other person, and you have the very best chance of a long life side by side.
Today’s Conclusion:
Yes, I do! Love stands and falls with this sentence, not only from the marriage altar. If we really want it, a relationship does not have to perish miserably and agonizingly from boredom, nor does it have to die from lack of love. If both sides are involved, love can be reanimated, repaired, restored and much more. Everything is possible if both partners focus their willpower on saving the relationship and resurrecting love. However, if one half wants to leave the sinking ship or perhaps has already done it inwardly a long time ago, the former loveboat is doomed to sink. One person is not strong enough to keep an ailing partnership alive. Wanting or not wanting are the two poles between which every love sooner or later finds itself. Actress Katharine Hepburn brought this fact to the point: Love is not what you expect to get. It is what you are willing to give.