TRUE LOVE? Wrong!

One thing’s for sure: When you fall in love with a person, it’s a beautiful moment. You feel like you're on cloud nine. However, you may come to a point where you question your counterpart because something feels strange. Maybe you ask yourself "Does the person I feel so strongly about love me as much as I love them"? What happens when I sacrifice everything for the wrong person and my love is not returned? Is it really love? Well, one thing is for certain, we can't always choose whom we fall in love with or how we feel about someone, it just happens. More crucial, perhaps, is figuring out if your significant other is worth letting into your heart or if they're putting on an act. We explore these very questions in this article and present you with eight signs that can help you tell the difference between true and fake love. 

1. Influences show.

Of course, no two people are in a good mood every day or behave the same way in every situation. However, if you're being asked more frequently by friends about changes in your character, it should set off an alarm in your head. A partner who changes you permanently in your nature, and we don’t mean short-lived mood swings, is definitely an indication of a fake love. A genuine love does not require manipulative behavior that lead to far-reaching consequences in the other person's personal and social environment. Close friends and family members have a particularly fine sense for such changes.

2. Control compulsion.

A healthy relationship is characterized by the mutual granting of freedom. As soon as your partner begins to interfere too much in your personal affairs and whom you spend time with, it’s a critical sign of control addiction on their part. Such behavior inevitably leads to a great deal of insecurity on your part and ultimately results in a serious breach of trust. A strong love needs neither excessive control nor paternalism of any kind. A partnership also lives from boundaries. In the case of a partner who controls you at every turn, these limits are clearly exceeded. Certain attributes are important for a relationship, such as independence during free time and personal freedom, and these should never be questioned. As soon as your relationship resembles captivity, there’s an urgent need for action.

3. Mistrust.

Mutual trust is the essence of a good relationship. If even one of the partners creates mistrust, any foundation for love begins to crumble. There are many reasons for growing distrust, for example, suspicious flirtations, lies or secrets. Once the relationship is disturbed, it can be difficult or impossible to repair the damage done on an interpersonal level. Fake love can never work because it always stirs up rifts due to its fundamental lack of honesty and sincerity.

4. Neglect.

This is an aspect that is opposite to that of the compulsion to control, but is no less harmful. If there are always reasons why your partner has no time for you, then you should become suspicious. Because if these reasons accumulate, it’s an alarming sign that your partner quite obviously sets other priorities in his life. Of course, even in the best of marriages, difficult phases can occur, for example, because the partner is under stress due to his or her job. A real love, however, is characterized by the fact that the person concerned feels real remorse and will do everything in their power not to leave you in the lurch in the future. They will take their time for you, even if this requires a sustained effort. A fake love will not be able or willing to do this. As soon as you find yourself feeling that everything else seems more important to them than you, something is very wrong.

5. Emotional distance.

A cardinal sin of a relationship is emotional coldness. As soon as your partner puts distance between himself and you, these are the first unmistakable signs of a fake love. A healthy relationship consists of mutual and warm feelings. Here, too, the principle applies in particular: the more often and intensely an emotional distance comes between you, the more serious trouble the relationship is in. Closeness and distance can also be found in a healthy partnership, but the difference lies in their phasic nature. A general lack of emotions and a barely present or completely absent attractive force suggest fake love. The loss of feelings is then accompanied by a certain lack of interest in your person. Living together with such a partner ultimately proves to be not only bleak, but wasted time. Real love knows only real feelings. There is no substitute for that.

6. Disinterest.

Those who are freshly in love have plenty to talk about and are floating on air together. The situation is different with false love. Even if things seem to be going well at first, a certain routine creeps in over time. Even this is not yet a reason for excessive concern. However, as soon as the interest in joint activities, conversations or feelings wanes, a dangerous phase occurs, which could be called the first crisis. Not everyone succeeds in the so-called "turnaround" - the turning point. If both of them care about the relationship, an energy-sapping period begins in which a gradual rapprochement takes place. A healthy curiosity, plus a desire to discover the other person over and over again, can save a relationship. If there is no interest in it, the love is doomed to fail, or it never was.

7. No compromises.

A partnership requires mutual consideration, and especially in hard times, compromises are essential. A tight schedule due to different working hours or time-intensive hobbies on the already scarce weekend can take a toll on a relationship. Finding mutual solutions to these problems requires sacrifices and selfless behavior. As soon as your partner prefers a selfish approach, you can be sure that he or she doesn't care about a mutually acceptable solution. Compromises are not always pleasant because they are never completely in your best interest, but sometimes they are unavoidable. Where there is a will, there is a way. Those who do not adhere to this motto run the risk of focusing only on their own needs. A fake love is characterized by exactly these self-centered behaviors.

8. No staying power.

In the end, everything happens very quickly; a healthy relationship fights for its common goals. Despite budding difficulties, it has to go on somehow. It’s different with a false love. As soon as the first disagreements or quarrels arise, the fake partner leaves the sinking ship. Giving up is known to be easier than joining forces and fighting for a common goal. So how much a love is really worth is shown by the reaction to an emerging problem. Unlike a friendship, the requirements for a real love are much higher. This goes hand in hand with a certain responsibility. Anyone who shirks this just to avoid problems is not a reliable partner with whom you want to share a common future.

Today’s Conclusion

In summary, we can say that these signs of fake love are only a few among many. Often, an uneasy feeling betrays the first indications that you’ve chosen the wrong partner. This intuitive ability can be more valuable than any manual published by experts. Inauthentic love cannot be hidden. Sooner or later it will be unmasked. That's it for today.