Stop THAT! Tolerance Limit Exceeded!
In every relationship there are things that are too often tolerated. If the tolerance limit is exceeded, conflicts occasionally arise. But where is your personal pain threshold? How much leeway do you give your partner? Does he really love you, or is it time to bail out? These are the questions we want to explore in this article, and we'll show you 9 signs that can help you distinguish fake love from true love.
1. Possessive Behavior
Is your partner suspiciously watching over your every move and hardly giving you any personal freedom? Then this behavior should make you suspicious, because a very possessive partner does not mean you well. Superficially, he will want to give plausible reasons as to why he restricts you so much. For example, he might tell you that he just doesn't want to have to share you with others and assure you of his great love. The motives of such a partner are clear. He wants to control you, spy on you, or even manipulate you. A good relationship requires mutual respect. As soon as your partner confuses healthy closeness with domination, and wants to keep you under his thumb in all everyday situations, you should think about having a serious conversation with him about it. Or if that doesn't help either, mention a possible breakup. You don't have to put up with possessive behavior from anyone.
2. Playing with Your Emotions
Feelings are fine as long as they are genuine and sincere. It is different when your partner tries to manipulate you and your feelings. In this case, he may want to test how far he can go. For example, you wouldn’t like for him to start talking about his ex every chance he gets, and you’d ask him not to hurt your feelings like that. Maybe he enjoys such provocations, or even wants to make you jealous in order to put himself into the foreground and thus grab your full attention. This behavior is a very unattractive attempt to manipulate you by playing with your emotions. You should not play this game, and instead put him in his proper place.
3. He Laughs at You Instead of with You
Laughter is healthy and invigorates togetherness. A good relationship is characterized by a healthy dose of humor. Without bothering to weigh every little thing, there should be a mutual understanding between you. For example, if you suffer from a nagging phobia, understanding is appropriate and poking fun at you is not good. Talking about your fears takes a lot of courage anyway. If your partner doesn't take your worries seriously, or even laughs at you, it shows bad character. Being ridiculed for such worries doubles the trouble. If the abuse comes from a close friend, draw the line—up to the point of offering to break up the relationship.
4. A Futile Search for Happiness
If you can't find sleep at night or have to cry to friends about your partner, something is fundamentally wrong in the relationship. There can be many reasons for this. What exactly is making you unhappy? How is your boyfriend contributing to your frustrating life situation? Only you can answer these questions by holding a dialogue with yourself. If he is selfishly only interested in his own happiness, with little regard for you, then the relationship is doomed to fail. In this case, life as a single is preferable to a partnership that exists only on paper. Listen to your gut feeling about the chances of continuing such a relationship, and have a one-on-one conversation about this, before ending such a relationship.
5. Lies And Nothing But Lies
A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and honesty. When your partner lies to you, it tests your relationship's patience. Moreover, you lose trust in him, which causes serious interpersonal disorders. We’re not talking about more or less harmless white lies or evasions about things like your weight, but about serious taboo breaches. As a last resort, put all your cards on the table. In case of further breaches of trust, you’d be better off without him.
6. No Common Goals
An exemplary relationship thrives on shared plans. The next trip or, more importantly, family planning should always be a mutual affair. As soon as your partner goes it alone, or includes you less and less in his plans, conflicts are inevitable. If your boyfriend or husband behaves in this way, then he proves that he does not care much about your future together, and in case of real problems he will try to bail out of the relationship in a similarly uncooperative and selfish way. Especially in difficult situations, values like working together and loyalty are important. If your partner contributes more to chaos than to problem solving because of his tendency to go it alone, your common future will be rocky.
7. Unreliability
There is hardly anything worse in a relationship than a partner whose reliability leaves much to be desired. Especially in bad times you want a partner who stands firmly by your side, supporting and giving strength. However, if he or she always puts forward flimsy reasons, for example, unnecessary private or professional appointments in order to shirk responsibilities, caution is advised. A good partner senses when he or she needs to be there for the other person. If this awareness is completely missing, sooner or later there will be major relationship problems, because no partnership is immune to crises. A partner who loves you will not turn away from you in such moments. It is precisely in these situations that the wheat is separated from the chaff. He who does not love you in every situation of life proves to be a false friend.
8. He Is Still in Another Relationship
True love knows no alternative. So if your boyfriend is on two tracks, for example because he is still married, this is a clear sign that you are not his absolute priority—which you understandably want to be and should be in a good relationship. You'd better not put much stock in the excuse that he'll settle the matter shortly. Because a partner who loves you wants clear conditions and swears fidelity to you. You should ask yourself whether you can live with this uncertainty.
9. Other Priorities
A partner who loves you will want to spend every free minute with you. If his big game or his hanging out at a bar with other friends regularly prevents your spending weekends together, your partner is setting clear priorities, and you are obviously not number 1. If spending time with you is constantly bypassed due to other priorities, you should take notice.
Today’s Conclusion
Even in the best relationships, disputes do occur. However, if your partner’s fidelity and loyalty is of a very weak type, your relationship will be very weak. Serious incidents should not be easily forgiven out of good nature or fear of loneliness. That's it for today.