Laws of Attraction: 8 Reasons You’re Just Not Made for Each Other

It either works, or it doesn’t. The idea that each and every one of us has a soulmate out there somewhere is beautiful and reassuring. Even long-time singles can be sure that lonesomeness will not be their destiny. Unfortunately, sometimes we humans tend to get in the way of the universe and attempt to force things. That doesn't really work out. Especially when it comes to matters of love, you shouldn't try to smash people together. At the beginning of a relationship, we tend to not see our partners as they really are, but as we would like them to be. Thus we start out on the wrong foot, and disappointment follows. Also, such partnerships are a bit like driving with the handbrake on: they don't really get going. Everything becomes difficult; failures and misunderstandings build upon each other. But there are 8 other signs that you two are unfortunately not really meant for each other: you will find out about them in this article.

1. You like each other but not your respective friends.

This is a difficult topic that is unfortunately far too seldom openly addressed. Our friends are the family we have chosen for ourselves. They have often been with us throughout our lives and know us inside and out. If a new partner is to be accepted into this circle, he or she will of course be examined by watchful eyes. This isn't out of categorical distrust of strangers, but because your friends just want what's best for you. Conversely, introducing friends is a real test for a young relationship. Ideally, everyone gets along great, has the same sense of humor and quickly find common ground on topics. However, it becomes problematic when this is not the case at all. If your new love thinks your friends are awful, it's not something to be taken lightly. There are either irreconcilable differences lurking here or a manipulative and chronically jealous partner who wants to have you all to him- or herself. If your friends have reservations about him or her, trust them on that point. They may see behavior, or notice things, that you can't see through your rose-colored glasses.

2. The differences outnumber the similarities.

The fact that opposites attract is well known as a basis for a stable partnership. However, the exact opposite idea--that similar types attract--has proven to be the far more successful variant. At first you might find the differences exciting and thrilling. However, everyday life together will always be a challenge if your temperaments, interests, and inclinations are completely opposite. How long does it take for you, standing in front of a box office, to come to an agreement on which film to watch? What about the choice of bars and restaurants? What happens if you want to plan your weekend or vacation? Unfortunately, if every joint activity requires intense negotiations, this arrangement cannot be expected to have much of a future.

3. Better alone than together.

The most important sign that your romance cannot last, is a preference for remaining alone. If you're uncomfortable being around your partner, or feel like you can't be yourself, there's clearly something fishy in paradise here. In itself, allowing closeness is not an easy exercise for most of us. Especially if you have been single for a long time or have enjoyed your life as a single person, the prospect of togetherness will not be easy for you. This is completely normal and will take time for adjustment. But if it's the case that you'd rather spend most of your free time alone, or with your friends, than with your new flame, you’d better ask yourself honestly if you are really in love. Staying with someone just because of your compassion or your politeness is not a basis for a future together.

4. It is difficult to do something together.

Here too, the universe is telling you loud and clear, “Stop.” If, right from the start, you have trouble agreeing upon the time for a date because you are both so busy with “more important” things, maybe you are wasting your time. If you are constantly put off, break off the relationship before you’re driven crazy. Anyone who really wants to be with you will find a way to be with you. Excuses are for those who really aren’t interested.

5. Every word has to be measured.

Getting to know someone is a bit like taking a new aircraft out for a test flight. It will take a while before you get to know which buttons can be pushed and which cannot. The same situation exists for humor—especially outrageous humor. For example, if one of you cannot understand sarcasm, or teasing, conflict instead of shared good humor will ensue. If your every word must be doubted—analyzed to death—before you speak it, you should pull the eject lever. It’s one thing to know that you must think before your speak in a public setting, but with your partner you must be free to throw out ideas when they hit you. A good partner will help you separate the good ones from the bad ones without accusing you of mental disorders or deficiencies.

6. Everyone wants a different lifestyle.

California or Alaska, big city or cabin in the woods, penthouse or farm? The center of life does not have to be the same for both people from the beginning. However, if you expect to maintain a long-term relationship, you’ll need to discuss where and how you intend to live--sooner rather than later. 

7. You have different desires and goals.

Right from the start, you’re likely to have different desires and goals. Elementary questions, such as those about having children, career choices, etc. should be discussed openly and honestly early on. No one should be forced to suddenly change their intentions without a healthy discussion begun early on.

8. You need the advice of others. 

There is absolutely no shame involved in getting professional help. But if your love is fresh and young and you can't get by without the advice of friends and family, the omens are bad for you. We intuitively know whether a partner is good for us or not. If we find ourselves in happiness and contentment when near them, everything will fall into place. If we're constantly looking for an instruction manual, there's a good chance that both sides are just wasting their time. 

Today’s Conclusion 

The better half gives 100%. If your new love is really meant for you, you will feel it with every fiber of your body, heart and soul. You are like the proverbial two halves that make a whole. However, don't expect a relationship to make you happy unless you make it work. A partner can never do this work for you. He or she is a person in their own right, not just 50% of something. On the other hand, remember that people can change. If you have the feeling right from the start that you are needed rather than wanted, you should think twice about this relationship. True love demands nothing, but gives everything. That's it for today.