If ANYONE Does THIS, Toss Them Out! You’re Only a Stopgap!

Welcome to the benchwarmers. Nobody likes to be a stopgap or a trivial rebound for another person. Unfortunately, especially in matters of love, we do not act rationally, nor are we always completely honest about our intentions. Some people get along well with bridging a romantic dry spell alone. They prefer to wait for the right person before plunging headlong into an amorous compromise. They clearly prefer quality to quantity. But not everyone thinks this way. For many people, being alone still means a state of lack, a lack of social acceptance and a sense of failure. They buzz like a bee from one flower to the next, always searching, never really arriving. The victims of this restless search for a partner are those other parties in these fake relationships, who thought they were already at the registry office or in front of the marriage altar, while their partner only wanted to park his or her dream boat here temporarily. So that you don't find yourself among the involuntary substitutes more often than absolutely necessary, in this article we show eight sure signs that she or he sees nothing real in you. 

1. Plans for the future? No way!

A real relationship has development potential. But not only that, it is also characterized by the fact that both sides strive for and want to have development. If, on the other hand, your plans for the future always come to nothing, or if even the thought of a vacation together next summer meets with little enthusiasm, then you are just a stopover for him. Making plans is such a clear indicator of where a relationship stands because it does not involve cost or effort. Building castles in the air together doesn't require any initiative, so it could be lived out to your heart's content. However, if your partner denies you even this absolutely low-threshold form of togetherness, you should quickly seek distance. Someone who doesn't even want to dream with you is definitely not a prince charming, but at most a frog.

2. The nights with you are more interesting than the days.

If it sizzles at the beginning of a new romance and the passion determines the daily routine, this testifies to the magic of a common beginning. But here the mixture makes the whole package. If, after weeks and months of getting to know each other, you are only visited for sex, but he hardly has any other time to meet you or to do something with you outside of the bedroom, then you are really just a stopgap for him.

3. He likes to mention the word "independence".

Even those men who are so not poetic or creative in daily life become amazingly inventive when it comes to relationship terminology. Words like "freedom," "independence," and "self-determination" suddenly appear with regular frequency. Remember: So-called freedom almost always has a name. Men who end relationships because they want their freedom have met someone else they find more attractive or who makes it even easier and more comfortable for them than you do. You should interpret the constant reference to independence as an alarm sign. You are being constantly nudged, like a naughty puppy, that you are not the destination, but just a stopover.

4. You're constantly being compared to the ex.

Men very often don't realize what they had in their partner until the relationship is over. Unfortunately, the next one then gets to feel this clearly by being constantly compared to the ex. Caution is also called for when a so-called best friend becomes the focus of the stories more and more often. If Hollywood has taught us one thing, it's that men and women can never really be friends. Sex always gets in the way, see Harry and Sally. That being said, it's highly insensitive and rude to constantly engage you in some sort of invisible competition. If he really wants you, you're the sun in his current universe, not some star that just can't shine bright enough to meet his high standards.

5. It's always about him.

Beware: you can clearly see this clue on the very first date. If your counterpart talks without stopping, but never asks you about personal things or wants to find out something about you, you should not waste your precious time with this individual. He is not looking for a relationship, but an audience or a groupie.

6. He doesn't offer you help or support.

There has been something going on between you for a while now, yet it still feels to you like you are single? He never really has time for you except for sex and usually doesn't even ask you how you are doing? When you need a helping hand, he has an excuse ready and unfortunately very important appointments. Sorry, but this is not going to work. Just let this specimen of the species man move on to the next station. You clearly deserve better.

7. Your family and friends don't interest him.

There's a red flag lurking here, too, and it's best to make it a test balloon right at the start of a new romance. You are not an isolated island, but a person with social contacts. The most important of which a new man at your side should want to get to know, because they make up a very significant part of your life. If there is no interest here - or worse - he badmouths everyone you introduce him to, then take flight as soon as possible. Anyone who doesn't want to meet you and your loved ones doesn't deserve a place in your schedule, much less in your life.

8. He doesn't see you as a couple or in a relationship.

Do you want to test your new love quickly and without obligation? Then feel free to mention in conversation every now and then how great you think your relationship is. Surprisingly, this word is kind of a trigger with men with commitment anxiety or commitment aversion. It almost seems like they are allergic to it. Also good: pay attention to how he introduces you when you meet acquaintances somewhere. If he wants to avoid the encounter at all costs, high alert is indicated. But also if he avoids the words girlfriend, partner, better half and so on, indicates that he does not consider you important enough to give you any of these predicates.

Today’s Conclusion:

The sooner you critically examine a new love, the less time you've wasted on someone who sees you as just a rebound. Depending on what type you are, an honest conversation after a month or two can also be quite revealing. Try to describe your feelings and your view of things and ask him specifically how he sees things with you. When lame excuses and hot air come along, snippy remarks or whimsical quips, it's time to pull the plug. In true love, there is no "maybe," there is only a yes or no, and in the best case, a "Yes, I do!" That's it for today.