Can Affairs Actually Be True Love? THIS Is What You Need to Know!

A scam is a scam. You should engrave these words in your brain before you let your heart and libido run wild. You can think what you want about marriage: it is and remains a formal pact made in front of witnesses for a reason. At the very least, this means it should be taken seriously and not lightly. But love happens. And feelings follow their very own rules, sometimes only one: All is permitted. But is that really the case? And what can become of a love that was born out of a noncommittal affair? How many stories do you know that started that way and ended well? Even if in real life it's not always a matter of a rabbit losing its life in the cooking pot, unfortunately the chances are that there will be casualties. We would like to give you some food for thought in this article, in case you want to take a departure from the path of virtue and go astray when it comes to love.

1. There is always pain and loss

It doesn't always have to end in murder and manslaughter, but you should at least be prepared for a sea of tears and a pile of broken glass that can't be repaired with a simple apology. If the history of cheating teaches us one thing, it is the following truths. The deceived always find out sooner or later that they are being deceived. Remember the word "always." A hot night can be forgiven, a double life that already borders on bigamy, rather not. Adultery always spells trouble in case of separation or divorce. No matter how good your lawyer is. You never cheat on just one person. There is a wide social environment attached to relationships, which can reach into your professional life. You should not expect understanding. Morality clearly plays in the team of the cheated, not the cheaters. So does the law, by the way. Cheaters are serial offenders. Anyone who cheats on his wife or husband with you will sooner or later cheat on you too. If you have children, imagine that moment when you have to explain everything to them, because no one can or will take this task from you.

2. What would the new daily routine look like? 

There is a world of difference between exciting secret meetings in a hotel or other dim places and everyday life for two. All couples can tell you a thing or two about it, because every relationship once began romantically and passionately. These beginnings had to give way to daily life together. Does your affair really have the potential for everyday life? After all, the honeymoon is often over faster than the ink on the divorce documents needs to dry. 

3. Do both sides feel the same?

It is not rare that for one half an affair is more than just that. Are you sure that your secret love is not just seeing you as a fling? Where you are already planning a future, your flame may only see a fleeting pastime. Be sure to address this desire for a committed relationship before you put your marriage on the line for good. Many a cheater has ended up without a partner. 

4. Do not become a willing placeholder

If your crush is committed and you are just a fling or a side piece, don't let yourself be emotionally and psychologically degraded. In no case should you become a rebound and second choice just because the wife or husband enjoys priority. Continue to respect yourself and be sure to demand the respect you deserve. 

5. How long and intensively have you been carrying on the affair?

Before you seriously think about leaving your spouse and possible children to start a new life with your affair, it's better to examine this relationship critically. How long and how well have you known each other? Have you spent time together besides a few passionate hours? Do you know each other well enough to really give this a realistic chance? 

6. What do unbiased third parties say?

It is not fair to involve other people in the predicament of an affair. You are making them complicit and forcing them to unconsciously take sides. If you need and want an objective opinion, get professional help for this. Go to a marriage counselor, priest, or coach, whichever is closest to your own. An unbiased outside view can be helpful in complicated relationships. 

7. Love does not thrive under coercion

An affair is sometimes downright deliberate by one party. We all feel flattered by romantic advances and the persistence with which some people pursue their goals. If you have set your mind on a partner who is already taken, remember the golden rule: love is a child of freedom. If you try to force it, it will bring you sorrow and suffering, even if they end up being yours.

8. Compared to other relationships - how great is this love?

Consider your affair in comparison with all your previous romantic relationships. Where would you rank it? Is it really the ultimate jackpot that your hormones see in it, or is it a nice break from the dry spell that your marriage has become after a few years? Does she literally take your breath away or just temporarily take your common sense away? Go ahead and rate it like a casting show. Award points if you're not sure. But make sure you know how important it really is in your life. 

9. Will your lover also have the courage to leave?

If both are committed, will both of you really leave to give this new relationship a chance? This point should be discussed clearly and rather too often than too little. After all, if only one side then musters the courage to leave home and family, they will not only look foolish, but will also be left empty-handed. 

10. The statistics are not favorable

Last but not least, we would like to let the statistics have their say. Unfortunately, they have nothing good to say about love in general and affairs in particular. In the U.S., more than one in three marriages end in divorce. At least when it comes to cheating, equality comes into its own. Meanwhile, more women than men cheat and out of 10 married men, only one leaves his wife and family in favor of his mistress. This sad result should make you think. 

Today's Conclusion: A lot of leeway, little hope, no future

Cheating has never been easier than it is today. Tinder and co. make possible what many unhappy people in relationships dream of. Unfortunately, reality can't really keep up with wishful thinking. Even if both parties involved want more and would really risk everything for it, a happy ending is far from guaranteed. The abandoned spouse and children will not simply disappear. They claim a fixed place in life, whether we like it or not. An affair always draws both circles and makes big waves. It always demands sacrifices and will never be the straightforward path to your carefree future. That's it for today.