Ghosting – Up, Up and Away!
You have one date, then a second and third. You exchange countless messages with him every day, flirt, and have butterflies in your stomach. He seems to be serious about you, and you have the feeling you have finally found the perfect partner. But suddenly all contact seems to be broken off. Your dream man doesn't contact you anymore, doesn't respond to any of your calls and doesn't answer your countless messages. In this case, it could well be that you have become a victim of so-called ghosting.
Today: Ghosting
What ghosting is, exactly, and how you should best deal with it is the topic of this article.
First, let's clarify what ghosting even is.
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is a colloquial term that was coined in the age of the Internet and is becoming more and more common on social media channels, but also in real life. It describes the phenomenon of a complete break in contact between two people entirely without warning or justification. However, in ghosting, this break in contact only originates from one person. All attempts to reach or communicate with this person are ignored. One is literally treated like so much thin air, and it seems as if the other person never existed, as if they were a ghost. The disturbing thing about ghosting is that the behavior is not limited to dating, but can also be found in seemingly well-functioning partnerships. Ghosting is apparently not only one of the easiest ways to get rid of someone, but also one of the most common. The problematic thing about ghosting is that it can be particularly harmful to the person involved, and feelings of exclusion and rejection can be evoked. Thus, ghosting can now be considered a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse. But what now are possible reasons?
Why does someone ghost?
If you have perhaps been affected yourself, you should first know and understand that the causes are usually not due to you, but to the character of the person in question. The reasons can be quite different. Among the most common are that this person firstly does not feel empathy or recognize that the radical break-off triggers an intense emotional state in you, secondly is not really interested in you, thirdly is afraid of commitment, fourthly is incapable of openly talking about problems and managing conflicts, fifth, is afraid of your reaction if he brings up the reason for his breakup, sixth, just wanted to have a casual fling with you without having to account for it afterwards, seventh, is prone to selfishness that leads to reckless behavior, and eighth, isn’t comfortable telling you the truth to your face. If you want to know more about the reasons, feel free to write it in the comments. Now let's answer the question of how you should respond to ghosting.
1. Check if something has happened
First of all, check if something serious has happened. First of all, ask yourself if it is really ghosting in your case, or if there is another explanation for the radio silence. Has something serious happened? We don’t mean things like stress at work or not enough time due to many obligations, but serious things like an illness or an accident.
2. Do not send any more messages
Don't send any more messages or call the person. Now that you have checked if something serious has happened and your fears that you have become a victim of ghosting have come true, you may doubt yourself and your people knowledge, feel insecure and maybe even heartbroken. The most important thing now is to realize that the ghost does not want to have any more contact with you. Even if you have many unanswered questions and you still believe in a relationship - you will not get any answers from them. You should therefore avoid contacting them at all costs, either by phone or in person. Instead of talking openly with you about problems and conflicts, this person has preferred to slink away like a coward, and you should let them. This behavior is not only hurtful, but would also not be a good basis for a relationship. Because if you now run after him and let his bad behavior pass, you show how little respect and self-worth you have for yourself. Be sure to maintain self-respect! The best way to deal with this situation is to decide to break off contact yourself. Even though it may not be that easy, you should try to keep your distance, because thinking about him all the time will only hurt you more. Realize that you are not dependent on him, no matter how great he treated you in the beginning. Now he is behaving absolutely horribly, and such a thing does not fit your values and ideals and you must not put up with it at all.
3. Seek distraction
Even if you are sad and suffering from heartbreak - you should definitely not lock yourself up at home and isolate yourself. Instead of sitting in front of your cell phone brooding, waiting for a message from him or wondering what you could have done better, do something you enjoy. For example, meet up with friends, go out again, you could even join the gym or do things that have been on your wish list for a long time. Start engaging in something you didn't have time for before. Just do what makes you happy, that way you'll get your mind off things and you might soon be able to forget about your ghost.
Today’s Conclusion:
Ghosting is a really painful experience for those affected. Suddenly breaking off contact doesn't just bring pain of separation, but also self-doubt and insecurity. As a ghosting victim, you should do something about this. However, don't forget that you have your pride too. That's all for today.