Why You Can’t Make Friends!
According to studies, having few friends is a sign of intelligence. Having no friends at all in your life can, of course, indicate a trust problem or a difficult character. You may find it difficult to get in touch with other people, to keep in touch with them, and to trust them at least enough to form a delicate bond. Many of us simply don't have the time to deal with others in depth. And friendship needs these two ingredients quite urgently. Time and trust are the basic prerequisites. But when it comes to friendship, there are also many gray areas and many reasons why some people go it alone. In this article, we'd like to introduce you to 8 good reasons why you might not have any friendships in your life.
1. You're too negative.
Could it be that you are chronically bad-tempered, grumpy, and overly critical? Could it also be that you don't hold back with criticism and your relentless openness towards others? You think that everyone is entitled to your opinion? Congratulations. This is definitely the fastest and most effective way to avoid having to bother with friendships. Nobody appreciates the presence of people who see everything only negatively and make each ray of sunshine turn into skin cancer. Friends are supposed to make us feel good. We want to be allowed to be ourselves in their company, without having to undergo a constant test. No one likes chronic complainers and sourpusses, and nothing will change that.
2. You feel superior to others
If you want to elevate yourself above others, you're actually looking for subjects, not friends. If you think that you are too good for this world and its earthlings, you will have to spend your days lonely and alone in your castle in the air. If you are arrogant and think you are better, you will end up empty-handed. The universe has made all people equal. Nobody has the right to subjugate others or to degrade them to his foot people. Except for true masochists, no one will ever really feel comfortable around you.
3. You try to force it.
There is almost no more undignified spectacle than people who try to win friends by force. They pull out all the stops and leave no stone unturned to finally make a connection. Unfortunately, the same is true here. Too much ambition hurts the bottom line. And let's be honest: Do you really want to be friends with people you have to buy or bribe? They would only take advantage of your desperation and use you for their purposes. Instead, try to be a little more relaxed about things and surround yourself with people who share your interests. This is a good starting point for more, which can come naturally over time, without any pressure at all. That being said, anyone who can't see your potential doesn't deserve you anyway.
4. You love drama
Friends are not our audience. Of course, they are all ears when we have worries or grief. However, it makes a huge difference when listening and being there for each other becomes a one-way street. Each and everyone has their own everyday dramas to deal with. People who have to make a mountain out of every molehill are not exactly welcome companions. Perhaps you should simply confine your epic statements to the facts and not construct a soap opera out of the trivial things. Emotional outbursts and gratuitous seas of tears are nerve-wracking, pointless, and the nail in the coffin of any friendship.
5. You live a very secluded life
The main reason why many people go without friends is their lifestyle. Maybe you like it quite a bit when you reign supreme on your island. But sometimes a good or reliable friend would be nice, wouldn't it? And therein lies the problem: friendships can't be flicked on and off like a light switch. They're either all or nothing. If your lifestyle doesn't allow time and space for real interpersonal interaction, you need to make a choice and maybe realign your priorities.
6. You don't convey a good feeling to others.
You may not realize it yourself, but other people feel uncomfortable around you. No wonder they shy away from you and don't want to have more to do with you than is absolutely necessary. Your manner may intimidate them. If you have a great deal of knowledge, it might be advisable not to make it obvious to others. Unsolicited comments are usually not well received either. Or are you perhaps one of those people for whom a conversation consists only of your own monologue? This behavior doesn't exactly make for a plus on the sympathy scale either. If you want to have friends, you must first become someone people like to have around. It also doesn't hurt to occasionally ask how the people around you are doing. In fact, that would be the minimum level of politeness with which you can build your first tentative steps towards friendship.
7. You are insecure
Unfortunately, our insecurity can block quite a few open doors for us. It doesn't even have to get to the point of being interpreted as arrogance. It's enough to be perceived as aloof, cool and difficult to approach. Often we then say the wrong thing in order not to sit there completely mute as a fish in a group. Such misunderstandings often arise from insecurity. Maybe you should take heart and tell the people with whom you would like to have more contact that this is not exactly a home game for you. You'll probably succeed in earning a few sympathy points with this confession alone. And others will probably be glad that you feel the same way they do. The first step in interpersonal relations is always communication, if not with words, then at least smile. This shortcut usually does not miss its effect.
8. You behave selfishly
Does everything always have to go according to your head? Are only your topics interesting? Do you like to set the tone within a group? This would be a good condition to make a career in the army or in a dictatorial regime. Unfortunately, these character traits are extremely counterproductive for making friends. Nobody likes to be directed through everyday life. Most people already have enough obligations to fulfill and at least one boss breathing down their neck to tell them where to go. In our private lives, we should rely on the idea of diplomacy, so that our friendships will work out in the long run.
Today's Conclusion: Find the mistake.
It's not a nice realization, but if we don't have any friends and would like to have some, it's most likely because of us. We are the common denominator in this game. Friendships are not one-way streets, a self-service store, or an all-you-can-eat buffet. They require time and energy and must always, always take place in balance. Once a lopsidedness is clearly noticeable, the only way one half can keep themselves from being relegated to net contributor is to withdraw. If you want to have friends in your life, you yourself must become the friend you would like to have by your side. That's it for today.