When THIS Happens, End the Friendship!
Are you someone's friend, or is that person just using you for their own purposes? Are there people around you who make you feel uneasy all the time, even if everything seems to be fine on the surface? You may be dealing with a specimen of the false friend species. These women and men help themselves to us because we are useful to them in some way. We may know the right people, have a job in a company of interest to them, or have skills that make us unique. Be that as it may, they don’t like us for our own sake. Unfortunately, such phenomena are not so rare in the interpersonal sphere. For this reason, we would like to present you 9 clear signs you can use to recognize a fake friend.
1. They play with you
Like puppeteers, false friends make us dance on invisible strings according to their wishes. The song is all theirs. For a long time we may not even notice that we are being manipulated. They quickly recognize which buttons they have to push to get a foot in the door. And they are extraordinarily adept at it, because practice makes perfect.
2. They spread rumors about you
People who love to be the center of attention and can't get enough of drama and bad news take every opportunity they can get. Thus, you, too, keep becoming the center of their venomous verbal attacks. As soon as the chance arises, fake friends will talk bad about you behind your back and spread nonsense.
3. They constantly criticize you
A true friend knows that criticizing you as a person is not really their place. Before good friends really start an intervention, a lot has to happen and there has to be danger. The snakes in our lives, on the other hand, know no inhibition about constantly rubbing our noses in alleged faults or shortcomings. Nothing is good enough in their eyes. Nothing you can do is right. Your outfit, the way you talk, your other friends and even his family are targets of their toxic and hurtful comments.
4. They are not trustworthy
Fake friends aren't afraid to expose or show you up in front of others. They will only keep secrets until a good opportunity arises to score some entertainment points with others. Don't rely on them in an emergency, or you'll be abandoned. Conversely, they wouldn't hesitate for a second to save their skin by putting yours on the line. But trust is a precious commodity when it comes to being with people. Who would voluntarily bring a poisonous snake into his house? It is the same with false friends. At the beginning of our acquaintance, they appear charming, witty and bubbling over with ideas and joie de vivre. We don't see the drawn knife behind their back.
5. They use you
Your contacts, your talents, your money or your refrigerator - there is hardly an area that these people do not want to conquer for themselves. They find that certain something in everyone that they can profit from. Those who constantly borrow things from you and never return them are the harmless version of this. Moreover, these people know no boundaries. Neither those of common decency nor the rules of privacy and personal space. They grab your smartphone without being asked, rummage through your purse, search through your jackets and make themselves at home in your apartment without any invitation at all. Soon, these boundary violations take over and before you know it, you're missing your partner, your job, or your life as you once knew it.
6. They are selfish parasites.
Friends who only think about themselves and their own benefit don't deserve this label. Those who constantly have only their own well-being in mind and never think of the community are not cultivating friendships. Those who have declared the "I" to be their region should not occupy an important place in our lives. Unfortunately, we usually recognize the parasites in our environment only when it is almost too late. They are the first rats to leave the sinking ship and the first from our circle of friends to take flight as soon as we feel bad or our debt is due. Even if they could, they wouldn't lift a finger to help or even stand by us in an emergency.
7. You are always their second choice.
False friends have an amazing number of friends. They seem to know God and the world and are immediately on a first-name basis with everyone. However, this illustrious circle is strictly ordered by priorities. So if one day you're still the declared best friend and the next day you're not even on the greeting list, you've unfortunately slipped down the ranking. That's how fake friends think. You must be at their service in the best possible way. If someone better comes along who has more to offer than you, you are promptly promoted to the bench.
8. They are jealous of you
Real friends are people who love us. We are important to them and they care about us. If we are successful, they are genuinely happy with us. On the other hand, it is completely different with false friends. We can tell immediately from their reaction to a feeling of success what their true feelings for us are. Most of the time, they do not even manage to keep envy and resentment somewhat under wraps. Many vent their displeasure that we outdo them, because that's exactly how they see it. They talk badly about everything that gladdens our hearts. Their verbal poison darts range from subtle innuendo to outright hostility.
9. Gossip is their lifeblood
False friends love to gossip about other people. The more tragic, embarrassing or sensationalistic the information they can spread, like a destructive wildfire, the better. While true friends choose their words carefully, the false ones crave gossip, scandal and drama. If these find a natural ending, they don't shy away from unleashing controversies and creating their own personal escalation scenario. Fake friends simply can't survive without the dubious scandal from the rumor mill.
Today’s Conclusion: Less is more
Be careful with the choice of people you ask in your life. Some people won't take a hint when it's time to leave. Still others see you as a self-service store to be exploited to your heart's content. Unfortunately, in life we are used again and again. Our longing for love, belonging and acceptance tempts us quite quickly to wish for the largest and most diverse circle of friends possible. But if there's one area where less is definitely more, it's our closest caregivers. That's it for today.