THESE Friends Are Secretly Hurting You
Not everyone deserves your trust. People are fundamentally different in their nature, demeanor, and expectations of life. Many have the motto "live and let live" and do very well with it. Still others always have their own advantage in mind and leave no stone unturned to secure pole position in every situation in life. And then there are the manipulators, the puppeteers, and the string-pullers. Both women and men fall into this category, which we would do well to avoid. They have their own plans that stem from an agenda taken directly from the mouth of hell. We are at most a means to an end for them, and if we are lucky, we survive the storm they bring upon our lives reasonably unscathed. However, long-term consequences cannot be ruled out from these encounters of the sinister kind. But bad friends can also be very subtle and quietly wreak havoc. In this article we would like to introduce you to 6 types of people you should better not trust and open your heart to.
The Party People.
They love the good times and they love you too, but only when you are happy and in a good mood. If you're miserable or in dire need of a shoulder to lean on, they're gone faster than you can blink. If we have to be perfect and flawless for a person in order to secure their approval and goodwill, they are not a true friend. We have to function often enough in everyday life, in private we should be allowed to let ourselves go when we feel like it and not have to hide or cover up our imperfections. Nothing is more disappointing than to realize that we are not enough for our loved ones. We take their judgment to heart much more than that of strangers. If they reject us when we are not the entertaining trophy friends without fault, they do not deserve a place at our side even in the good times.
The ones who don't take you in stride.
There's almost nothing worse among friends than having to fight for credibility. Those who don't feel taken seriously are suddenly lonelier than they've ever been in their lives. Friends should believe us without reserve. The basis of every friendship is trust. Those who talk down our stories, question our narratives, or even relegate our feelings to the realm of hysteria and exaggeration do massive damage to our souls. Words like "you're exaggerating," or "what's wrong with you," don't help us feel understood and accepted. Who, if not our friends, should be on our side? Better have this experience just once and say goodbye to people who treat you like a child or an idiot. No one should relegate you to the "not all there" corner. These people make themselves look superior to you in this way or, to put it more bluntly, they humiliate you. They are clearly staking out their boundaries as to what extent you are acceptable company for them. Respect and coexistence on the same level are clearly absent here.
The me - faction.
Friends like this also occasionally sneak into our lives. They are charismatic and charming, sophisticated, and always have a good idea in store. When we meet with them, however, there is always an interesting turnaround in the middle of the conversation. We talk about ourselves, our week, our day, and with a single sentence, our counterpart takes over the conversation. We don't even get a comment or a polite commonplace in response. Most of the time, an "aha" is already too much to ask for as a reaction. In no time at all, the dialog suddenly turns into a monologue, with no end in sight. We usually sit there dumbfounded and ask ourselves where the red thread in this conversation has gone. We'll tell you. The fake friend sitting across from us has declared him to be the rip cord and has rudely and completely without reflection taken over the further course of the conversation.
The innocent.
No matter what happens in the lives of these questionable friends, it certainly wasn't their fault. The perpetual victims are a particularly troublesome version of acquaintance, as they are constantly on the lookout for a sympathetic ear to their tragedies, which are entirely without fault. They basically never feel responsible and blame anyone else possible. This childish and immature behavior leads us to be automatically thrust into the role of the adult. However, friendships do not function in this way, because these presuppose an encounter on equal footing. We then serve such people only as a mental garbage can and free advisor. They are 100% resistant to advice and not the slightest bit receptive to a view beyond their narrow-minded horizon. This, regrettably, ends here.
Those who confuse pity with compassion.
Friendships are relationships between two equal individuals. When one side feels it must pity and commiserate with the other, a strange and unhealthy imbalance is created that does not bode well for this acquaintance. What we look for and urgently need when we are in distress or in a bad way is empathy. We need people who encourage us and give us hope, not a sense of being a failure who can't get anything done. In doing so, they elevate themselves above us and thus show that we are, strictly speaking, beneath them. Grace is out of place in relationships of any kind. We need understanding and support, not paltry handouts.
The eternally better.
Competition, as we all know, stimulates business. For friendships, however, it is the purest nail in the coffin. Those who constantly have to measure and compare themselves in order to feel better should rather switch to competitive sports and not abuse their friends for their ego care. This condition becomes particularly bad when we go through bad phases and even the misery and suffering are still misused to choose a winner, according to the motto, "you can't have it as bad as I have had it", then in no time at all the wrong friend is again the focus of the conversation, and not we and our concern. True friendships do not see each other as competitors; they rejoice in each other's successes and offer comfort and help in times of defeat. People who constantly need to feel superior settle more at the camp of our enemies than at that of our friends.
Today’s Conclusion
Pay attention to the quiet tones. Not all false friends take advantage of us or talk badly about us behind our backs. Some people draw completely different advantages from acquaintances, mostly concerning their ego and the care of their self-esteem. That ours can quickly fall by the wayside, they do not care and we are often not even aware. When dealing with people, always pay attention to one thing: How do you feel in their presence? Your subconscious recognizes it much faster and more reliably when someone is not really good for you. A sinking feeling in the stomach area, goose bumps or total exhaustion after a meeting with them are the most reliable signs of false friends. Something is good for us when it feels good. That's it for today.