8 Reasons You Have No Friends

Would you rather be alone or incompatible? According to studies, having few friends is a sign of intelligence. Having no friends at all in your life can, of course, indicate a trust problem or a difficult character. You may find it difficult to make contact with others, to keep it, and to trust them at least enough to form a tenuous bond. Many of us simply lack the time to engage with others in depth, and friendship needs these two ingredients very badly: time and trust are the basic requirements. But there are also many gray areas when it comes to friendship and many reasons why some people go it alone. In this article, we'd like to introduce you to eight good reasons why you might not have friendships in your life.

1. You're too negative.

Could it be that you're chronically bad-tempered, grumpy, and hypercritical? Could it also be that you don't hold back with criticism and your relentless openness towards others? You think that everyone has a right to your opinion? Congratulations, this is certainly the fastest and most effective way to avoid having to bother with friendships. Nobody appreciates the presence of people who see everything only negatively and have to make skin cancer out of every ray of sunshine. Friends are supposed to make us feel good. We want to be allowed to be ourselves in their company without having to undergo a constant test. No one likes chronic complainers and sourpusses, and nothing will change that.

2. You feel superior to others.

If you want to elevate yourself above others, you are actually looking for subjects, not friends. If you think that you are too good for this world and its citizens, you will have to spend your days lonely and alone in your castle in the air. If you are arrogant and think you are better, you will end up empty-handed. The universe has made all people equal, no one has the right to subjugate others or to degrade them to foot servants. Except for true masochists, no one will ever really feel comfortable around you.

3. You're trying to force it.

There is almost no more undignified spectacle than people who try to win friends by force. You pull out all the stops and leave no stone unturned to finally make a connection. Unfortunately, the same is true here: Too much ambition hurts the relationship, and let's face it, do you really want to be friends with people you have to buy or bribe? They would just take advantage of your desperation and use you for their purposes. Instead, try to be a little more relaxed about things and surround yourself with people who share your interests. This is a good starting point for more that can come naturally over time, without any pressure at all. That being said, anyone who can't see your potential doesn't deserve you anyway.

4. You love drama.

Friends are not our audience. Of course they are all ears when we have worries or sorrows, however, it makes an enormous difference when listening and being there for each other becomes a one-way street. Everyone has their own everyday dramas to deal with, so people who have to make a mountain out of every molehill are not exactly welcome company. Maybe you should just limit your epic statements to the facts and not construct a soap opera out of the banal. Emotional outbursts and gratuitous seas of tears are nerve-wracking, pointless, and the nail in the coffin of any friendship.

5. You live a very secluded life.

The main reason many people go without friends is their lifestyle. Maybe you do quite well being the sole ruler on your island. But sometimes a good girlfriend or a reliable friend would be nice, wouldn't it? And that's where the problem lies. Friendships can't be flicked on and off like a light switch. They're either all or nothing. If your lifestyle doesn't allow time and space for real interpersonal interaction, you need to make a choice and maybe realign your priorities.

6. You don't make others feel good.

You may not even realize it yourself, but other people feel uncomfortable around you. No wonder they shy away from you and don't want to have more to do with you than is absolutely necessary. Your manner may intimidate them. If you have a great deal of knowledge, it might be advisable not to make it obvious to others. Unsolicited advice is usually not well received either. Or are you perhaps one of those people for whom a conversation consists only of your own monologue? This behavior doesn't exactly make for a plus on the sympathy scale either. If you want to have friends, you must first become someone people like to have around. It also doesn't hurt to occasionally ask how the people around you are doing. In fact, that would be the minimum level of politeness with which you can build your first tentative steps toward friendship.

7. You're insecure.

Unfortunately, our insecurity can block quite a few open doors. It doesn't even have to get to the point of being interpreted as arrogance. It's enough to be perceived as aloof, cool and difficult to approach. Often we then say the wrong thing in order not to sit there completely speechless in a group and mute as a fish. Insecurity often leads to such misunderstandings. Maybe you take heart and tell the people with whom you would like to have more contact that this is not exactly a home game for you. You will probably succeed in gaining a few sympathy points with this confession alone, and it is quite certain that others will be glad that you feel exactly the same way as they do. The first step in interpersonal relationships is always communication. If not with words, then at least smile. This shortcut is usually a sure win.

8. You behave selfishly.

Does everything always have to go according to your plans? Are only your topics interesting? Do you like to set the tone within a group? These would be good prerequisites for a career in the armed forces or in a dictatorial regime. Unfortunately, these character traits are extremely counterproductive for making friends. No one likes to be directed through everyday life. Most people already have enough obligations to fulfill and at least one boss breathing down their neck to tell them where to go. In our private lives, we should rely on democracy, and then friendship will work out in the long run.

Today’s Conclusion:

Find the error of your ways. It's not a nice realization, but if we don't have any friends and would like to have some, it's most likely because of us. We are the common denominator in this game. Friendships are not a one-way street, a self-service store, or an all you can eat buffet. They require time and energy and must always, always take place in balance. To the extent that a lopsidedness is clearly noticeable, the only way one half can keep itself from being relegated to a puppet is to withdraw. If you want to have friends in your life, you yourself must become the friend you would like to have by your side.