STOP! WHY YOU Should Say "No" More Often - You Can Do It! (Life-Changing)

It speaks well of us to feel responsible for everything and everyone. But saying yes all the time brings many disadvantages, and sadly, not a single advantage. We are no longer liked by being the workhorse for everyone, always having time and taking on any task that no one else wants to do. Kind-hearted people, unfortunately, are often the ones who have one foot in burnout and don't even realize it. The egotists among us, on the other hand, rarely have sleepless nights or suffer from stress symptoms. If you are one of those people who don't want to utter the word "no", here are a few suggestions for you. First, we'll give you 5 sure signs that you should definitely say "no" more often. Then we'll show you how to do it.

1. You don't recognize yourself

Are you figuratively stuck in someone else's life that has nothing to do with you as a person? Are you only a service provider for others, are you professionally far behind your possibilities and are you only called when someone needs something from you? If your everyday life feels like a much too tight garment that you accidentally stole from a dressing room, it's no-time. Get your life back before a lack of meaning and perspective that takes away your joy in it.

2. You find it hard to motivate yourself.

When we can do what we love and what our hearts yearn for, no road is too far and no work too arduous. However, if we are merely the mule for others, willingly carrying their burdens and allowing a pathetic shriveled carrot to push us on and on, motivation soon becomes a foreign word. Happy are those of us who can make every move for ourselves and our own success. If, on the other hand, we are inadvertently relegated at some point to the role of a cheap henchman, cleaner or stopgap, getting up in the morning will soon no longer be worth the effort.

3. The really important areas of your life come up short

What counts in life? Every person must answer this question for themselves. There is no universal patent remedy. Is it your partnership, family and friends that are important to you? Ask yourself honestly how much time you can spare for them. Are they really number 1 on your agenda or has this place been taken by a moody boss, a tedious job, the annoying parents' association or the many other beneficiaries who suck you dry, down to the last drop of lifeblood?

4. Your heart is no longer in it

Do mistakes happen to you often? Are you unfocused and erratic? Do you deliver late or not at all? Whether it's professional or personal, the result always speaks for itself and bears unmistakable witness to how attached we are to something or not. If you're constantly falling short of your own expectations, you're probably doing too much of the wrong things.

5. Your body feels overtired and exhausted

Stress manifests itself furiously in the form of physical symptoms. And stress is what we're exposed to when we're constantly just functioning for others and having to meet other people's expectations. Those who constantly say yes to others say no to themselves.

From problem to solution

If you have recognized yourself in some of these points, then it is high time for a change of course. Saying no takes real effort for many people. But there are a few helpful tricks that can get you on the right track.

1. Believe in yourself and your abilities

Privately, saying no is a thing. We are attached to the people who ask us for help and naturally want only their best. But what about professionally? Do you really think that this job is the best you can achieve? Is it your idea of fulfillment and success to always work for others and be granted the decision-making powers of a toddler? Believe in yourself, because no one else will.

2. Set limits and practice daily

As with all great endeavors, it's the small steps that get us where we want to go. It doesn't make much sense to throw your entire environment under the bus because you've finally realized that you're a good yes-man. Start with small, rather insignificant things. Turn down a piece of chocolate that's offered to you, or put off until later that distraught friend on the phone who's dying to tell you her latest woe.

3. Just do it, it doesn't hurt

Saying no can be infinitely liberating. Most of the time, we don't even realize what a crushing corset we've allowed ourselves to be pressed into all this time by constantly just agreeing. According to the sporty motto "Just Do It" it is really worthwhile to clear a blank slate once in a while. Keep it polite and friendly, but stick to your No. If someone proves to be particularly stubborn, you might be helped by the fact that, according to research, everyone understands the message behind a No after the third rejection at the latest. And yes, some people really do take that long.

4. Listen more to your needs

You are not the go-to woman or service man for everyone. Be aware of your value and demand the respect from the world that you deserve. It may be that a lot of things have become ingrained over the years and that "saying yes" has sometimes simply seemed less strenuous than discussing the opposite. But what do you get out of it now? Your environment is used to simply dumping all the annoying to-dos on your shoulders or on your desk. There is no thanks for it, not to mention praise or any form of recognition. Get your self-esteem back and ask yourself what you want, not everyone else.

5. Offer alternatives

Here we have the precursor to saying no, which is especially appropriate for people who dread the very idea of showing resistance. If you don't want to do option A, or it's really not convenient for you, suggest option B. These are baby steps towards saying no, but they are effective and will eventually get you there. It's also a great way to see how accommodating your peers are when they encounter a teeny bit of rejection. Can you find a compromise? Good. If they want to force your agreement, say no.

Today’s Conclusion: You don't have to explain yourself.

No is a complete answer. It doesn't need footnotes or explanations. We are not supplicants who need permission to shape our lives according to our own desires, even if you find it difficult at first to switch from the yes faction to the enemy camp, it will be worth it. You will soon be able to see how, piece by piece, you are reclaiming your life and your freedom. Because that's what it's all about and our freedom consists, freely according to Jean Jacques Rousseau, not in being able to do what we want, but in not having to do what we don't want. That's it for today.