Don’t Give Away YOUR Lifetime to People Who Secretly Harm YOU!
It is easier said than done to distance ourselves from people who are not good for us. Often we don't even notice that a toxic relationship has developed that was once good or at least somewhat fulfilling. We are then blind and not receptive to friendly warnings from outside. The reason for this: for many people, anything is better than being alone. The fear of loneliness actually drives us straight into the arms of evil incarnate. How else could you explain the fact that so many people stay with their partner even though they leave no stone unturned to hurt them? Sometimes we are downright blinded by love and caught in a web of habit and misconceived security. Because one thing is clear: those who hurt us will never stop doing so of their own accord, on the contrary. Once this inhibition threshold is crossed, most dark individuals find a cruel pleasure in tormenting their former loved ones. But there are even more reasons why you should not sacrifice your life time to people who want to harm you.
1. Words lead to actions
Never take it lightly when someone close to you makes nasty jokes at your expense. Also, being humiliated in front of others, insulted or yelled at is more than just the harmless word salad that is thrown at you. Anyone who thinks so poorly of you that they have to verbally attack, humiliate and degrade you is only a tiny step away from inflicting physical pain on you. Aggression rarely comes out of nowhere. Violence in relationships pretty much always starts with name-calling and derailing respectful dialogue. Respect is generally the key word here. Any stupid joke at your expense is evidence that this person, whether a family member, friend or partner, no longer has any respect for you, if they ever did. You are not equal for him and with this undignified behavior they clearly show you how much they enjoy looking down on you and keeping you down. "Nip it in the bud" applies to every imbalance in relationships. Small disagreements can quickly turn into a violent conflict that can end tragically.
2. People don't change
Even the greatest love or devotion cannot change a person. Those who insult or mistreat their partners, children or other caregivers will do so again and again. There are no one-time lapses in such things. Once the dam is broken and the inhibitions have fallen, there is no going back. If people get away with it even once, with bad behavior, affairs or illegal acts, a door opens in their perception. If they go through it, they think they are invincible in the land of unlimited possibilities. It is, unfortunately, a sad truth. The only people who could really bring about a course correction here are the victims. If they resist their attackers, their efforts come to nothing. We cannot change other people. We can change ourselves, our expectations of them, or the circumstances in which we live.
3. Is there really no alternative?
In the case of violence in the family or partnership, the unfortunate secret of success is usually the victims' lack of alternative. Many people often have no choice but to continue to endure the shame and pain because they have nowhere else to go. Yet nowadays there are many ways to escape from such predicaments, at least temporarily. If family and good friends are out of the question, there are numerous places to turn to anonymously and free of charge. Doctors are also bound by their duty of confidentiality and can be taken into confidence in an emergency. If you do nothing against the tyranny within your own 4 walls, the spiral of violence will turn faster and faster and more and more violently. Keep the following hard truth in mind: Such abuses end only with a separation including a ban on contact or the death of one of the parties involved.
4. What do you think the future will look like?
Even if the injuries that are constantly inflicted on you are "only" of a verbal nature and you are confronted with insults and degrading comments on a continual basis, where do you think these manners will take an interpersonal relationship? Sadistic power mongers love this game where they hold control over other people in their hands and set the pace to which they make the puppets dance. Do you really think they will give up this free entertainment just because you feel hurt and humiliated. Your feelings don't matter to toxic people. They usually don't even know what their feelings are.
5. Whipping posts can be replaced at will
If you think what is being done to you is a weird form of love, rest assured that anyone who treats those around them so badly that they suffer in agony and are not allowed to spend one more happy minute does not even know the meaning of the word. Abusing people, humiliating them, isolating them from the outside world and abusing them psychologically, physically and sexually is pure violence and nothing else. The victims are like toys for their abusers. They are objects, not people. And as objects, they can be replaced at will at any time. It is not for a second about you as a human being in this dark machination, but only about the benefit you bring.
6. It's not your fault
If there is one thing that manipulative and malicious people are particularly good at, it is the art of cheating their way from the role of perpetrator to that of victim. Narcissists in particular are downright gifted at always putting the blame on others. This strategy is also familiar from abusive and violent relationships. The perpetrators persuade their victims that they have driven and provoked them to commit the assaults. No matter what they want to tell you, if you are treated badly, it is not your fault. However, it will be your fault if you stand idly by and do not defend yourself. You also allow boundaries to be crossed and you may be hurt, humiliated and insulted once, but not constantly and continuously. Abuse in the interpersonal sphere unfortunately has a lot to do with self-worth and self-protection. There is a reason why toxic characters prefer to look for weak people who will do anything for them for the illusion of a little love and let them do whatever they want.
Today's Conclusion: How do you really feel?
Every interpersonal relationship is different and is allowed to be that way. There is no point in comparing yourself with other couples or families. What you should definitely always question, however, is a simple one: How am I doing with this? If we feel uncomfortable in partnerships or even have to be afraid of these people, something is very wrong. At the latest when you can no longer feel free and independent, are constantly controlled and reprimanded, or increasingly often unpleasant words fall in your direction, these are warning signs. Do not dismiss them as trivialities and do not make excuses for someone else. You owe yourself that much sense of reality. That's it for today.