Warning Signs That YOU Are Dealing With the Effects of Trauma!
Everyone we ever meet has a story to tell. And they carry these stories with them wherever they go. Nobody grows up without having to face one catastrophe or another. Life isn't a never-ending circle of happiness, and it often brings us back down to Earth in the most brutal way. Particularly awful experiences can cast a huge shadow over our happiness. This is what experts call trauma. It could be physical or mental abuse in childhood or adolescence, surviving a natural disaster or a violent crime, or the sudden loss of a close relative. These kinds of tragedies affect us, and no one can go through something like this totally unaffected by the thought that their life might never be the same again. When you think about it like that, it's no wonder that our personality can change if we go through a traumatic incident. Many people come out of it stronger and can see the positive things life has to offer, whilst others can become cynical and completely past caring. Here are 7 signs that you might still be suffering from the effects of trauma.
1. You’re always looking for the flaw in the system
Trauma makes us suspicious of life in general. Kids who got burned avoid fires later in life. This is the same for traumatic experiences, they keep us on the lookout for red flags. Every new contact, every new love, and every new potential friend will be scrutinized for any negative consequences before the positives are even considered. Trauma victims search meticulously for the flaw that is sure to be hiding around the corner, always assuming that hopeful new friends are actually faking it. Then they can breathe a sigh of relief when they’re proven right. New friends never really stand a chance of proving themselves or showing that friendship is worth a shot.
2. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are a staple of your life
Our minds sometimes need a crutch to lean on. We all know the feeling that reaching for that chocolate or a glass of wine, buying nice things or excessive exercise sessions will bring us out of our funk. Trauma victims almost always develop some type of coping mechanism for when visions of the past get the better of them. Going for a run isn’t going to hurt when we need a mental pick-me-up. Similarly, neither is a glass of wine or a cheeky bar of chocolate. But things become difficult when we can no longer live without these things. A glass becomes a bottle, a bit of chocolate becomes an unreasonable amount, or we physically push ourselves beyond our limits to find the balance we seek. When the harmless habits are no longer enough, the harmful ones take their place. Prescription meds, drugs, or purposefully putting yourself in danger just for the rush become the path most trodden.
3. You sabotage your relationships
Trauma hangs over your life like a black cloud. It’s an almost constant worry that it’s going to happen again. So, it only seems logical that relationships are doomed to fail, because we think fate will intervene again anyway. We assume from the start that the new love won’t last so we do our best to scare them away. Sometimes, there’s another reason behind this sabotaging behavior. We want to protect our loved one by removing them from the toxic environment that we think follows us around. We think that if they stay close to us, they’ll never be safe.
4. You keep your feelings under wraps
Going through a trauma really takes its toll on us. One of the ways this happens is that we go through the entire spectrum of emotions. Depending on how hard the tragedy we went through was, it can be that we just don’t have the strength to keep up with this emotional rollercoaster anymore. Every little excitement we might feel would only lead back to unpleasant memories resurfacing. So, we stuff our emotions into an invisible vault and bury it deep inside.
5. You need regular breaks from society
People aren’t always such a great help when we’ve been through a traumatic experience. They can actually even be completely exhausting, and they always expect that at a certain point, we have to function again. They think we should get back on track, finally come to terms with what happened and look to the future. This sort of advice is neither helpful nor original. But even if those around you don't know about your pain, sometimes the interaction just becomes too much for you. Everything seems so unimportant and trivial to you, which makes other people hard to deal with. You can't stand their happiness, and their sadness even more so. Since they can't possibly know what it's like to be you, you feel misunderstood and excluded.
6. Your emotions quickly get out of hand
Keeping your feelings bottled up inevitably leads to an enormous build-up of pressure inside us. Sometimes even the most disciplined among us can’t keep it in check anymore. Some people are so adept at it that they hardly notice themselves feeling anything ever again because everything is safely tucked away. Others sometimes just see red and literally explode with anger or sadness. Negative feelings find their way to the surface sooner or later. Positive feelings, on the other hand, rarely do. It’s not worth the risk just in case we immediately regret allowing ourselves that moment of happiness.
7. You find it hard to trust others
Trauma leaves no stone unturned in our heads or in our hearts. Our souls suffer wounds that can be impossible to heal. Unless death or natural disaster is the cause of the trauma, it’s usually always a person who’s responsible for the horror you felt: The perpetrator, the one we can never forget. We consider everyone else as a suspect, because we can’t say for certain whether or not they’re going to hurt us again.
Today’s conclusion: The best and the worst
How people react to going through trauma is unpredictable. The supposedly strong ones can collapse and never recover from it for the rest of their lives. The supposedly weak ones can suddenly show unexpected signs of unprecedented strength. Trauma brings out the best and the worst in us. We never know which side will win. And it’s not even under our control. Nobody can say what the worst experience of someone’s life is going to cause moving forward. In the future, consider this: A difficult person might actually just be a deeply hurt person. They’re not intentionally obnoxious or bad, but the product of a trauma that’s manifested itself in them this way. And likewise, particularly happy people might not have been born so happy-go-lucky, they might have had to walk a very dark path to learn to look on the bright side of life. Trauma has many faces. Almost everyone has experienced it.