“7 Signs That You’re Fighting Unresolved Trauma!”
A dark echo demands to be heard. We would do well to show strength in all circumstances and not let low blows and tragedies bring us to our knees. Strong personalities can overcome anything. But the process of overcoming trauma is not always as complete as we think. The boundaries between processing and repression are unfortunately fluid. Sometimes we just want the demons of the past to finally rest and no longer influence our present life. Our willpower can actually be a great help in overcoming bad experiences. But we should not underestimate the power of our subconscious mind either. Our feelings tend not to follow our thoughts. In this article, we'd like to show you six possible reasons why you might still be suffering from the delayed effects of trauma.
1. You've suffered a severe loss.
The death of a loved one or a breakup that caught you by surprise can permanently shake our foundations. It's hard to say which of the two is the worse. The death, which is irreversible but leaves no room for speculation and hope, or the separation, which in principle could theoretically be reversed at any time, but only theoretically. Both losses weigh heavily on us and for a long time give us the feeling of having lost control over our lives. This unpredictability consequently makes it difficult for us to regain trust, both in life itself and in other people. We struggle with our fate and put everything we have believed in to the test. We would like to believe that time heals all wounds, but the truth is that this belief is more like the grief researcher Elisabeth Kübler-Ross put it: "Time does not heal all wounds, it only teaches us to live with the incomprehensible". It is your right to give this pain ample space and time, you will not break from it, but it will change you permanently and rearrange your life forever.
2. You have a hard time opening up emotionally.
Our feelings are private matters, but when we want to enter into a romantic relationship, they become a matter that affects both parts. There is a difference between not wearing your heart freely on your sleeve and always keeping your partner in the dark about your feelings. This stonewalling is the nail in the coffin of any relationship and is usually accompanied by a general refusal to communicate. A love without emotions can, at most, result in a live-in relationship that benefits both parties in some way. If you are interested in a long-term relationship that is to be characterized by depth and trust, you will not be spared from working on your handling of emotions. There are plenty of ways to get professional help in various ways. The decision of what you want to have and what you could do without is yours alone.
3. Some things trigger unpleasant memories.
Psychology talks about "triggers" that can spontaneously bring up memories in everyday life that we thought we had long forgotten. These triggers can be sounds, smells, voices or certain situations that evoke déjà vu. You may not be able to remember specifically why a certain melody or words triggered a great deal of discomfort in you and activated all your flight instincts. If you want to get to the bottom of these causes, you will definitely need professional help, which will be able to reliably help your subconscious. Remember: A problem that is known is always half solved. The enemy we know is less dangerous than one we can't assess in any way.
4. Often you feel sad for no reason.
If you are occasionally overcome by periods of depressive mood without a valid reason, this can also be an indication of a trauma that you are still carrying around with you. Here again, the subconscious plays a supporting role. It will not leave us alone until we have heard its message and dedicated ourselves to it accordingly. Feelings want to be perceived consciously. Repressing them works quite well for a while, but at some point they push a surface and then flood us with phases of deep sadness, pain and anger. Here, too, certain triggers can be responsible for their occurrence. But our hormones and our state of mind during the day also play a role. If these emotionally stressful episodes are regular uninvited guests in your life and last for several days, you should also seek urgent help. Once depression has manifested itself, self-help won't win you this struggle.
5. You've been in a toxic relationship.
What can permanently damage our lives, but may not seem that traumatic to us, is an abusive or toxic relationship. We think that once we have successfully left it behind and freed ourselves from this brutal prison, the worst is over. But unfortunately, that is far from the case. It often takes years for our minds to stop reacting in panic as soon as the memory speaks up. Whether the abuse was physical or psychological, being systematically tortured by someone we once loved and trusted is probably the most serious breach of trust that can happen to us in our lives. So many countless little things remind us every day of all that we have had to endure, but also of all that we have freely endured for a very long time, in the deceptive hope that things would eventually get better on their own. These feelings of guilt, which are inevitably a factor in this scenario, additionally weigh heavily on us and also have a lasting effect on our relationship with ourselves.
6. Physical symptoms occur for no reason.
Our psyche and our body are one. Even modern orthodox medicine has now recognized that we cannot attribute physical causes exclusively to our organism. If you are repeatedly tormented by pain, migraine, back problems or insomnia, the causes may lie in a trauma from your past. Pain is always an alarm signal that we should listen to. Insomnia usually has the subconscious as an accomplice on its side, which without ceasing and with persistence points to problems that have not been overcome.
Today’s Conclusion:
The cure is in your hands. It is not our fault if we have to suffer trauma. However, if we break and perish from it and stand in the way of the chance to heal, it is very much our own fault and no one else's. We have survived a dramatic situation that may have dominated our lives for a long period of time. No one can undo the past, but ensuring that our future is a bright one filled with joy and happiness is 100 percent in our hands. If we do not take advantage of these opportunities, all the people who once hurt, abused or betrayed us still have power over us. This connection must be cut completely, only then can a new start succeed.