WHY YOU Keep Attracting Toxic People!
Do you constantly attract toxic people? Have you ever wondered why that is? When you meet a narcissist, you think nothing of it, but eventually you notice yourself worse off, both mentally and emotionally.
Reasons why you attract malicious people
In this article, we're going to introduce you to seven reasons why you keep attracting toxic people and what you can do about it. Let's start by not immediately pointing fingers at the toxic people in our lives, but first go inside ourselves to be able to recognize why we are constantly surrounded only by toxic people. We need to realize that it is often our old patterns, thoughts and actions that attract toxic people. Now by this we don't mean that there is something wrong with you. We just mean that simply because of certain traits that toxic people find attractive, you keep inviting them into your life. You can check acquaintances or your own circle of friends relatively easily for toxic people and then eliminate them from your life. In love, however, this often looks different. You often still have the rose-colored glasses on for years and do not recognize that this person is not good for you. It is often the case that above all positive, fun-loving people end up in a relationship with a toxic person. This is actually a shame, because your best qualities attract such people into your life. Narcissists believe that if they control, dominate and annoy you, they will destroy your innermost peace and thus have power over you. This is all to help them fuel their own self-esteem. So what are the seven reasons why you attract toxic people?
1. You are good at listening and understanding others.
You're good at listening. Narcissists love to be heard. They will monologue to you for hours. Also, the stories they tell you are all about them. Even if you have an opinion about the topic being told, a narcissist won't care. He will just pass over it.
How can you solve the problem?
When talking to toxic people, it is important to set boundaries. Also, decide ahead of time how much time you want to spend with them. Figure out a strategy to end the conversation and don't let them talk you into anything else.
2. You are a problem solver
Do you like to help people? You always find a solution to someone else's problem. This is exactly the kind of behavior that can draw toxic people into your life again and again like a magnet. Narcissists are attracted to people with strong empathy above all else; for them, taking advantage of your compassionate nature just like that is a no-brainer.
How can you solve the problem?
First and foremost, it's important that you learn to let things go once in a while. You can't help everyone and save them from their predicament. Just wait until the people themselves ask you if you can help them. Avoid interfering just anywhere.
3. You are generous
Generosity is considered a commendable trait by numerous people. However, it can also attract toxic people into your life. Narcissists are attracted to you because you are responsive to their needs and thus can make them feel important. Narcissists won't leave it at one favor though, they want you to do more and more for them. This is how they manage to get control over you.
How can you solve the problem?
Of course, this is perfectly fine if you practice generosity, however, make sure that you set healthy boundaries for yourself. For example, you can start by refusing someone else's request if you know it's not good for your emotional well-being at the moment.
4. You are passionate
Narcissists are often attracted to people who are passionate, as well as have a positive aura and can achieve their dreams. Narcissists are often afraid of such people because they themselves do not have enough self-esteem to tackle their dreams and desires. So from now on you can't do that either, they will badmouth your dreams until you give up trying to achieve them.
How can you solve the problem?
Rather surround yourself with people who are as passionate as you are. People with similar dreams and goals are usually as motivated as you are to achieve them. Therefore, rather surround yourself with such people, avoid sharing your dreams with toxic or negative people.
5. You're still carrying baggage with you
Most people are still struggling with past issues. For some, it may be a bad childhood that just won't let go of them; for others, their last relationship still hangs around their shoulders. These things can contribute to you feeling insecure and vulnerable. Narcissists are often magically attracted to these things. At first glance, it may seem like they mean well and want to rid you of your emotional baggage, but in reality, they will make you feel more hurt and insecure. It makes it easier for them to manipulate and dominate you.
How can you solve the problem?
It's best not to run away from your past, but to accept it. You can simply start to heal yourself from the inside. Find your own power again. You can withdraw from others for the time being to take care only of yourself.
6. You are a perfectionist
You search for perfection in every area of your life. This search for perfection doesn't stop with relationships either. Here you are a perfect food for narcissists. They know that you would do anything to maintain the relationship and thus can control you perfectly.
How can you solve the problem?
Raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, this way you will stop constantly seeking perfection. Also, you should set boundaries for yourself. You can also try positive affirmation, something you keep in mind every day. This will change your entire outlook, as well as your entire thinking.
7. You are a positive person
If you go about your daily life full of positivity and joy, you may be attractive to narcissists. Your positivity helps them boost their own self-esteem. But sometimes it's not so easy to let yourself be pulled along by your positive nature. Narcissists, however, can't handle the fact that you're a happy, optimistic person and will pull you into their dark world with them.
How you can solve the problem:
Listen to your intuition. If any person doesn't feel right, better keep your distance. Of course, your positive nature sometimes makes it difficult for you to distance yourself from people, however, it should be important for you to protect yourself here, both mentally and emotionally.
Today’s Conclusion:
We all have certain narcissistic traits in us. These are also important for our daily survival. We speak of real Nazism when these tendencies become too strong. Try to listen to your own intuition and stay away from people who cause any strange feeling in you. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it helps to take off the rose-colored glasses. Talking to a toxic person may make the situation better for a few weeks, however, narcissistic people will not acknowledge that they are sick. Protect yourself. That's it for today.