Warning! This Is Why You Should Avoid These Dark Characters!
The dating world has never been as simple as it is today, at least in theory. In practice, however, the programmed process of getting to know each other and falling in love is a different story. The variety of options means that we no longer want to commit ourselves for fear of missing out. Adding to that, not only paper is patient when it comes to whitewashing one's own person. The digital nimbus is even more so. In order to look better, people cheat, deceive, gloss over and exaggerate for all it's worth. As practical as online dating is, it unfortunately has a dark side. Its anonymity means that many dark characters prowl around there who are not really looking for a partner for a lifetime together. Some of these characters are on the lookout for a defenseless victim, a willing renovation project, or a psychological garbage can. In any case, you should immediately cross the following 5 toxic groups of people off your "maybe list". With them you can expect hell at best, certainly not heaven on earth.
1. The Quarrelsome
Maybe you already know these types. However, they only really reveal themselves in the course of a relationship. They love to start fights, but then argue in a totally skewed way in the sense of: "I'm fighting with you because I mean well with you" or "It's no fun for me to fight you, you can believe me". Or the classic: "It hurts me more than it hurts you if we have to argue all the time". You shouldn't believe any of this. Such platitudes are the classic pseudo-excuses of the chronically quarrelsome. Both men and women can fall victim to this syndrome. The reason is hard to pinpoint. Insecurity and the need for control, but also the need to feel better about oneself through conflict, can underlie this argumentative tendency. When dating, you can recognize these notorious troublemakers by the way they start arguing with service staff or other guests over trivial matters, have nothing good to say about the restaurant or the place where you're meeting, and overall seem as if they're always up for a ruckus.
2. The Narcissists
Narcissists are closely related to the quarrelsome. However, they are much better at making contacts and initiating relationships. Unfortunately, we often don't see their true colors until it's almost too late and we've unsuspectingly fallen into their web. But even when dating, they show certain behaviors that should definitely warn you. For example, narcissists hardly have any family and friends to speak of. And information about their immediate circle is what we really want to know at the beginning of a romantic relationship. The next tricky point is their job. If their working environment is consistently against the narcissist for no reason at all, simply doesn't appreciate his value, and there are only idiots at work besides him, you have good reason to become skeptical. Talking trash about others is generally a no-go on dates. You should refrain from it if possible, but your dates should also not speak too negatively about others. This gives a deep insight into the depths of a person who does not have a good heart. The third and clearest sign that a narcissist is sitting at the table with you is his apparent eagerness. Phase 1: When you are on a narcissist's fishing line, being showered with compliments, gifts, and surprises. It's better to feel flattered only briefly by so much attention, because it's just stun grenades being scattered around. As soon as you take a fixed place in his or her life, phase 2 begins: control and manipulation.
3. The Perfectionists
With intuition and a keen eye, you can also recognize perfectionists at first glance. Already after a few minutes you know why this person is single. Women are characterized by a flawless appearance, which was chosen for the occasion probably overdress and much too chic. Men also appear to be dressed to the nines and look slightly out of place in any normal setting. Talking to them, it soon becomes clear that there will probably be no person in this world who can meet their high standards. On the first date, both sexes bring a kind of imaginary duty list in their mind to work through. Already the first few points average fellows will not be able to fulfill. If you can't immediately out them as perfectionists based on their outward appearance, pay attention to the following sentence starters. "Don't you think you should...?", "I would feel better if you...". Or "You might need to...". Perfectionists will never let you stay the way you are. If they start a relationship with you anyway, you will be their favorite renovation and optimization project from day 1. From your looks and style to the way you speak and move, they will criticize everything without restraint and will not be sparing with suggestions for improvement. Your family and friends won't stand up to their strict scrutiny either. The same goes for your job.
4. The Major Emotional Construction Sites
A date with them is quite one-sided. You probably haven't even placed your order when they start telling you their tale of woe. The monologue will hardly give you any room to contribute or ask any questions. They are the eternal victims and chronically disadvantaged. Although you have only just met, they will not be stingy with intimate details from their life so far and will describe all their disappointments and emotional crash landings to you in epic detail. They always have bad luck, are pursued by misfortune, and are constantly falling in love with the wrong people. Their health is in a bad way. Actually, they are already on the brink of death and also psychologically it looks unfortunately not too rosy. After 10 minutes at the table with them, you'll be glad you didn't order a tall drink.
5. The Clingers
They act charming and attentive on the first date, but usually insist on having a second one follow after just a few minutes. You yourself may still feel flattered at this point. Women are happy to finally meet a man who knows what he wants and is not afraid of his feelings. Men like the admiration and warmth that seem to resonate here. That very evening, however, you'll be bombarded with text messages and maybe even a phone call. This goes on and you shouldn't be surprised if these human burrs show up at your door unannounced. Their stalking qualities are unbeatable and their persistent, investigative approach will soon dominate your life.
Today's Conclusion: Hands off instead of holding hands
The first date serves to get to know each other for the first time. Exploratory conversations should take place here while a personal impression is allowed to develop. Anyone who abuses this opportunity for an instant therapy session or to make unsolicited suggestions for improvement is not a potential partner for you. Your intuition will probably sound the alarm anyway if one of these 5 types shows up in the scene. Important: Don't say yes to a second date when you actually mean no. The first date sets the tone, don't be misled. That's it for today. Thanks very much and see you soon.