Protect YOURSELF! How YOU Can Tell SOMEONE’S Fake and a Back-Stabber!

Real or fake? Not all people who come into our lives automatically mean well. Most of the time, we can easily detect outright bad intentions; our gut instincts reliably warn us of them. But it is more difficult with those contemporaries who want to take advantage of our acquaintance or friendship. Unmasking this agenda usually takes a little longer, as real pros in the matter of taking advantage cleverly keep their cards hidden until they’ve gotten what they want. But there are a few telltale signs when someone around you doesn’t have your best interests at heart. In this article, we'll show you eight very typical traits of people who don't have honest intentions towards you.

1. They talk without listening.

At best, you're dealing with a classic energy vampire; at worst, a full-blown narcissistic personality. If every meeting with such people feels like an endless monologue and you're never really part of the conversation, these gatherings are definitely not about you. False friends help themselves to their fellow human beings like a vending machine. They want all the benefits, without the drawbacks, and basically always have a specific goal in mind that they want you to help them achieve. So the next time you have a conversation, if you feel like you're just the audience for your interlocutor's platitudes, don't waste any more of your time on them.

2. They’re only available when it's convenient for them.

Do you sometimes feel like you're just someone's rebound? He or she always calls at the last minute? Then you're probably just the fill-in because another, better date either doesn't have time or isn't available until later. If you’re requested "last minute" all the time, you’re simply not worth it to them. False friends are only concerned about their own advantage. The lives of others or what might be important to them are marginal to them and serve at most to dispel boredom.

3. They don’t keep appointments.

Then, once a meeting is scheduled, it's not uncommon for it to be canceled at the last minute. Probably something better and more promising has come up. False friends like to say yes and amen to everything, but are actually somewhere else in their minds and certainly not with you. They are the least reliable party guests, where you can never be sure if and when they will really come. They are masters at always keeping the best option open. When it comes to the interpersonal realm, unfortunately, they just don’t build solid foundations.

4. They display passive-aggressive behavior.

When things don't go their way, false friends can quickly show their true colors. If you thwart their plans, for whatever reason, it's not uncommon for you to be punished with pointed comments, threats, or the cold shoulder. Besides, they are masters of false compliments, which in principle only conceal an insult. False friends always have to belittle other people in order to look better themselves. They use sarcasm and cynical comments to vent their moods on you. Stay away from people who want to use you as their personal crash-test dummy.

5. People with connections and power are more important to them.

Fake friends are often what is called "social climbers." They exploit relationships and the status of certain people to climb the social ladder. They therefore often choose their environment very carefully and are not afraid to weed out contacts that no longer serve them. It is not at all easy for the average person to spot what their game plan is. Perhaps they only make contacts with people who are useful to their cause. So if you have done a favor for someone with this trait, don't be surprised if you never hear from him or her again. You've done your duty, now you may remove yourself from their self-constructed superior presence.

6. Contact never starts with them.

If you're always the one inviting people to meetings or organizing a joint venture, then this friendship isn't going anywhere. True friends want to spend time with you. They may not be able to do this every day or every week, but they will make an effort and not give up. However, if the initiative comes exclusively from you, you're probably not going anywhere maintaining that contact.

7. They talk about you behind your back.

True friends talk to you, false friends talk about you. And most of the time, those conversations aren't exactly praising you as a person. So if you hear from reliable sources that someone is spreading unflattering things about you, you should reconsider that contact. Someone who has only good things in mind is not using you to be interesting and entertaining elsewhere. Someone who spreads gossip at your expense is not worthy of your company.

8. They’re never there for you.

Last but not least, the most important sign to distinguish real friendship from fake: Friends are always there for each other. This is especially true when there's fire in the hold or a tangible crisis in the making. Anyone who leaves you alone in your hours of greatest need is certainly not your friend or should no longer be allowed to frequent your life. After all, it's not said for nothing that you realize who your true friends are in times of need. This doesn't even have to be about groundbreaking events or great concessions. Anyone not able to return a call that’s crucial is really and truly not worthy of being called a friend.

Our conclusion

Trust your intuition, mostly. Most of the time, we can instinctively tell when someone is not being completely honest with us anyway. If in doubt, it's better to wait and see than to trust a new acquaintance too quickly or to place high hopes on a new friendship. Especially in adulthood, new contacts should be built up slowly and cultivated steadily. If certain new people don't feel right to you, you shouldn't try to keep meeting them at all costs. Your intuition knows sooner than your mind when someone is not being honest with you. Friends are the family we can choose. In this sense, it is more than advisable to choose them carefully and also to subject the quality of these relationships to critical examination every now and then. Our lives are constantly changing, true friendships run through them like the proverbial ties that bind, no matter what.