How YOU Can Stop Evil People!
There is no doubt that today in everyday life you can meet a lot of annoying and sometimes problematic people. Perhaps you too have a friend, family member or partner who is really difficult to get along with. If you're feeling degraded or manipulated, there are definitely some ways you can learn to protect yourself and make dealing with toxic people easier. In this article, we'll introduce you to six effective ways to deal with malicious people.
1. Find out if the person is really toxic
First, disregard how annoying or problematic the person is for you at the moment when making your assessment. Focus your assessment solely on the type of behavior this person exhibits toward you and others. Typical behaviors of toxic personalities are: They act manipulatively rather than engaging in direct contact and confrontation; they constantly judge others to a completely exaggerated degree; they deny their feelings and devalue the emotions of others. They constantly twist and turn in the way they perform; they never apologize; they don't support you and are only interested in their own benefits; they lie as a matter of course and become aggressive when caught; they tend to slander and insult other people.
2. Set boundaries
If you have identified a person in your environment as malicious and damaging, set healthy boundaries. Toxic personalities are no different than anything else harmful - the dose makes the poison. Of course, it is best to avoid such people, but that is not always possible. If you have a toxic colleague, neighbor, acquaintance or business partner, think carefully about the extent to which you really need to deal with these people. Toxic people will try to drag you into their games and dramas, so dealing with them is always damaging in the long run. However, that doesn't mean you can't deal with a vicious person in the short term without causing further harm. Be careful to never let these people get too close to you, don't tell them private details, and keep contacts to a minimum.
3. Stay consistent even with vicious family members.
If you have toxic family members, it gets a little more complicated. You often can't limit or avoid them as easily as you can acquaintances. Family responsibilities and social dogma may initially prevent you from setting strict boundaries with someone close, whether it's an aunt, uncle, or even a parent - limit the times you devote to these people to a healthy level and stop making yourself an active part of their dramas. When setting boundaries, always remember that boundaries are not there to warn a harmful person, they will ignore that anyway. Your boundaries are there to protect you and your psychological well-being.
4. Set emotional boundaries
Malicious people sometimes react very strongly when they realize you have withdrawn and set a boundary. They will try to invade your space again. Even if you were able to maintain a physical boundary easily, you then have to learn to separate yourself emotionally. Perhaps this person will start to behave more and more strangely, and they will insult and devalue you. Do you then perhaps think about these things and are you emotional, still reacting inwardly to the drama of these people? This is where techniques like mentally turning yourself into a boring gray rock help. Try it. The image interrupts your emotional flow for a short time. If you practice emotional detachment regularly, malicious people will no longer get subconscious feedback from you.
5. Work consciously with yourself and the situation
Some people have a magical attraction for toxic personalities. You're at higher risk if you've already grown up with harmful people or in a dysfunctional family system. Then you need to work on yourself. Part of this personality work consists of creative coping strategies. It helps if you become aware of the benefits of a situation. By meeting such people you grow internally and become stronger. The part of the work consists of relaxation exercises. Mindfulness, gratitude, muscle relaxation, meditation and taking care of your well-being are good for this.
6. Don't try to change a vicious person
It may seem tempting to try to change a toxic personality. This is especially a nasty trap if you have a meaningful relationship with that person. Often there is a sense of guilt behind this desire, you secretly think that you can't be happy as long as this person is suffering. What you are most likely overlooking is that this person chooses their fate every day. In fact, there are many toxic people who are not consciously malicious, but rather are bitter victims of their own past and negativity. If you take a closer look at such people, you will see that they too would have the possibility to do something different. But they simply do not want to. People can change. They will change when they have recognized and realized something from within themselves. But they will not change because you want them to or because you need them to. Their toxicity still provides such a great pleasure for these people that they stick to their behaviors.
7. Address the behavior if possible.
If you are dealing with a harmful person who is just trying to establish themselves in your environment, addressing them directly can work wonders. The same goes for mildly toxic personalities. Let's say it's a new neighbor who's been showing up at your backyard fence for the past few days whenever you're in sight. She greets you and says a few nice things, then it starts, she starts gossiping or wants to hear about problems in the neighborhood. If you tell her, "It's nice when we meet, and I'm happy to make new acquaintances, but I've noticed that our conversations always go in a negative direction. I don't like to talk badly about others, I'd rather be happy about the birds chirping and the first spring flowers instead." With such direct speech, you can avert a pattern before it becomes established. Either that person will then engage in different behavior or turn away from you. It is important that you never attack your counterpart with a direct address, you stay with you and your feelings. So it would be wrong to say, "I've noticed that you're incredibly negative and that bugs me."
Today’s Conclusion:
Remember that malicious people will always try to drag you down to their level. If you are self-aware and know what you want, you are not at too much risk. Throughout your life you will encounter toxic people. If you recognize this type of person immediately, you will set limits earlier and earlier and limit the contact to a healthy and necessary level in time. That's it for today.