Why People With Borderline Personality Disorder Attract Us Like a Magnet!

Borderliners are complex character types. This personality disorder is one of the emotionally unstable disorders, which makes living with sufferers so challenging. They find it difficult to establish and maintain relationships with other people. The characteristics are strongly impulsive behavior, mood swings and a very critical to negative self-image. Borderline personality disorder is often accompanied by a chronic feeling of inner emptiness. In addition, other mental illnesses often occur as concomitant symptoms. As far as the causes are concerned, research currently assumes that traumas in childhood are responsible for the later occurrence of borderline personality disorder. Another determining factor for the development is genetic predisposition. The term borderline comes from the fact that those affected move psychologically on the border between psychosis and neurosis. They therefore cross the border between these worlds. According to estimates, about 3% of all Germans suffer from borderline personality disorder. When we meet such people, we are often spontaneously fascinated by them. The complexity of their personality and the intensity of their feelings are overwhelming. It is therefore not uncommon that we fall head over heels in love with such a person, who is, however, difficult to love. In this article, we will introduce you to 8 reasons why borderliners can be so attractive.

1. Their affection is heaven on earth.

Borderliners have a charismatic personality, even though it's rarely easy to describe. They are bursting with charm and wit, and immediately captivate us with this demeanor alone. When you talk to them, we seem to mean the world to them. They fade out everything else and hang on to every word we say. They literally put us on a pedestal and worship us. It's not often in life that a person cares about us as much as they do. Her fire and enthusiasm are contagious. Compared to the many uninspired and chronically bored people we meet every day, they are the stunning exception to the rule. A borderline personality will take our breath away and pull the rug out from under us in the blink of an eye. Hardly any other group of people understands so brilliantly how to turn the magic of the beginning of a new love into reality. The hard part comes later.

2. Life with them is one big adventure

Where passion and uncontainable feelings reign, routine doesn't stand a chance. One thing is certain: life with a borderline personality is never boring. Every day will be marked by new impressions and the desire to discover the unknown and try something never seen before. They are crazy about the good things in life and enjoy them to the fullest. Sleeping or resting is very rare in the Borderline universe. Their strength and endurance seem to be immeasurable, but are actually a result of their disorder. Their partners find it increasingly difficult to keep up with this concentrated charge of joie de vivre and adventurous spirit. However, their ambitions are always short-lived and they quickly lose interest in hobbies or other activities.

3. They reflect our personality

Those who find it difficult to identify their own personality, or cannot identify any in themselves at all, quickly assume that of their partner. We therefore believe ourselves to be in a real soul mate with borderliners. They like the same things, speak similarly to us and mirror our body language. At the beginning of this love, we actually believe that we have found the right counterpart to our soul. In fact, we are just the matrix or template for a person who cannot find themselves. Borderliners then simply slip into the role of their better halves. It's uncomplicated to copy someone. It puts them at ease and makes them feel good temporarily.

4. Our protective instinct is stirred.

Mankind would have died out long ago if Mother Nature had not endowed us with compassion and a willingness to help. In partnerships, therefore, it often happens that our protective instinct takes over where love or affection should actually reign. Compassion can never be the basis for a relationship. But it works very well as a glue and a bonding agent over a long period of time. Of course, we want to help our partners and accompany them on their difficult way through this personality disorder. However, very few people have an accurate idea of what it actually means to go through everyday life with a borderline personality.

5. Do we perhaps love the drama?

One aspect we should not ignore is the human predilection for drama in love affairs. Quite a few among us need the thrill of occasional escalation to feel alive. For these people, a relationship entirely devoid of emotional ups and downs would be pure boredom. Those who need dramatic outbursts and movie-like scenes in their love life will not be disappointed with a borderliner at their side. Daily togetherness then becomes a roller coaster of emotions.

6. Passion rules

Anyone who falls in love with a Borderline personality will be allowed to experience all-consuming passion and romance in its most electrifying form. The chaos of emotions inside such a person often manifests itself through strong cravings for physical intimacy and a life beyond all limits. The whole range of feelings is served virtuously and without regard to social conventions or other limits. The passion of a borderline love can reach frightening proportions. Their range of feelings is limitless and that's exactly how they live it out.

7. They always seem mysterious and secretive.

When we love, we want to know everything about that person. No detail seems uninteresting, no line of his life story we would call boring. Borderliners remain a constant mystery to us. This point is one of the most attractive about them. We will never be able to grasp the whole spectrum of their personality, their inclinations and their wishes and desires. Nor can they themselves, which is why communication with them always remains unsatisfactory. In our perception, we perceive these gaps in information as mysterious shadows that must be explored by all means.

8. Friendship and love are possible

Borderliners do not force us to choose between platonic and romantic love. Either one is often fine with them, as both are suitable for providing them with temporary peace of mind. Conversely, we can't believe our luck at not being pushed in either direction. Some partnerships even offer both, which we consider the ultimate culmination of a love relationship. However, this seemingly selfless, anything-is-possible offer rather results from the chronic indecisiveness from which borderliners suffer. They leave the decision to others because they are not able to do so themselves.

Today's Conclusion: Love under high voltage

Recognizing and correctly diagnosing a borderline disorder is still not an easy task. For people who live with those affected and want to have a relationship, a roller coaster of emotions is pre-programmed. Struggling with the inner demons of one's own insecurity and overwhelming feelings is then the order of the day. The sooner we realize that even the greatest love will not be enough to really help these people, the better. Life at the side of a borderliner will never be easy or predictable. Much remains uncertain and there will never be anything resembling security or a guarantee for either party. That's it for today.