Sometimes It’s Better to Be Single Than in Bad Company!
Being alone, on the best team in the world. We all know people who slide from one compromise-relationship to the next. Each time they give it their all and get nothing. They suffer when they are single. But the bottom line is that they suffer even more when they have to realize that their partners have no real interest in being with them. They may have just been in the right place at the right time, filling a void or being a welcome change. This does not make for love and a life partner, however. The desire for a perfect relationship that at least outwardly corresponds to the ideal image is rooted, like so many things, in our childhood. Not all people get enough self-confidence and strength of character from their early home to be sufficient on their own. Many, especially girls and women, are ingrained with the fixed idea that they are not fully human without a partnership. They put up with a lot, sometimes too much, just to live up to appearances. There is no greater form of loneliness than to think you are in a relationship but then to realize that you are alone in the middle of nowhere. Singles have a decisive advantage, especially in crisis situations: they know that they are alone and on their own. They don't waste time and effort explaining their predicament to their supposed sweetheart, only to have him shrug his shoulders in response or run away. Being able to be alone is a fine art and a great gift that not everyone is granted. But those who have learned to appreciate it know that, on the one hand, it has nothing to do with loneliness. On the other hand, it is the accolade of a lifetime and promotion to the top league. We then play on the best team in the world, our own.
Better alone than in bad company.
Needing a person is the worst condition for a relationship there can be. Not all people are good. Many recognize our neediness and exploit it shamelessly. To be degraded to a free household help is probably still one of the better forms such dependency relationships can take. The next stations are loss of respect, humiliation and abuse. Once the negative spiral of exploitation and imbalance is underway, it constantly spirals downward. Women in particular are often willing to literally sacrifice themselves for the illusion of a little love. They talk themselves into this relationship and emphasize to others how great and rosy everything is. The rule here is that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And really good products, as we all know, don't need any advertising. So anyone who has to constantly bathe their pseudo-partnership in a golden light and unctuous words is the PR manager of their life, but certainly not a happy person. The same applies to excessive self-promotion on the Internet. Anyone who has to post one proof photo after the next on social media has only this facade in real life, nothing more. Tragically, as an outsider, you can't help these people out of their dilemma. Sooner or later they believe their own illusions and mirages more than family and friends. On the contrary, an honest conversation would probably end with contact blocking. Not infrequently, abusive or simply deceitful partners will do anything not to lose their love slaves and everyday hostages. After all, life has never been more pleasant for them.
A love without love - a life without life.
The illusion of a phony relationship that benefits only one half is painful and in the long run debilitating and disappointing. We block ourselves with these distractions that have no real future, denying ourselves wonderful, real possibilities. Those who think they are in a relationship tend not to be open to meeting new people, even if their loveless or toxic partner doesn't miss a chance for adventure. The unfulfilling relationship then becomes a dungeon. We don't like it there, but we also don't know the way out and don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. We believe our own lies, which at some point become so rock solid that everything seems perfect for us. This state is comparable to a waking coma. We get to see everything that is happening around us, but in reality we are prisoners and pure extras without a say. We miss out on real life in this way. We grow older, more tired, worn out, and at some point we have actually capitulated inwardly to life and to ourselves. It is not known how many such grief relationships there are. But the number of unreported cases is probably enormous. This development is particularly incomprehensible today, when being single does not have to entail either financial or social disadvantages. People living alone are no longer stigmatized in the twenty-first century. Today, no woman is considered a wallflower or a leftover because she is not in a partnership. Men, too, are no longer viewed critically or come under the general suspicion of being a mama's boy if they enjoy their lives as singles. These clichés are long outdated and passé.
We need to raise the bar.
We live in such a transparent and enlightened world. Why do so many people still find it so difficult to recognize their worth? Why do so many people sell their peace of mind and their heart, and to some extent their body, to the next best commitment seeker just so they don't have to be alone? When will we finally realize that we are unique as human beings and deserve only the best? Where does the enlightenment work begin that will let us go through life alone, strengthened and self-confident, rather than throwing ourselves at the next best opportunity? If you look at such desperate couples, it almost seems as if men don't know what's happening to them, while women, on the other hand, are already dreaming of marriage and choosing the names of their joint children after one drink in a dimly lit bar. The desperation is already written so strongly in our faces that we practice speed dating non-stop, just to finally find someone who wants to be with us. However, we don't even question whether we really want to shape our lives together with him or her truly and from the bottom of our hearts. Unfortunately, we also overlook early warning signs that would warn of toxic personalities, addictive behavior or an unhealthy relationship with the outside world. We don't question big issues in partnerships, or don't do so in time. Children living together, making it work, while living together in real harmony requires real adult conversation. Otherwise we stand alone without any support, even if we are in a supposed relationship.
Today’s Conclusion:
Being alone can be learned. Like almost everything in life, we can learn to be alone. Many of us have to sooner or later anyway, because we are abandoned or our partner dies. So why not practice early on what life will inevitably ask us to do, anyway?