Relationship in Danger? These Are the Reasons
A good relationship is not immortal. In the beginning, everything is rosy, and the new person at your side makes it easy for you to love him. There is nothing more important to each of you than the other, and everything just seems to fit perfectly between you. However, the longer the relationship lasts, the more stumbling blocks you will encounter. The true personality of the two of you is not always happy, peaceful and relaxed. You will get to know the rough edges of each other and your everyday life together. This often gives you the feeling of having been deceived in the relationship, and it seems to change from a really good relationship to a bad one. The different triggers we present to you in this article can be responsible for this, and you as a couple can turn it around, more or less, depending on how much you’re willing to work for it.
Now let's get to the possible triggers:
1. Physical distance
A long-distance relationship isn't for everyone, and it usually leads nowhere in the long run. If neither of you wants to give up your living space, the relationship will quickly become unsustainable. However, it can be just as difficult if you simply have too much distance in your life plans, such as if one of you travels often. Shared goals and plans are important for moving forward as a couple. But if, for example, you are ready to start a family, but your partner is still far away, then this relationship will soon become unsatisfying for both of you. This can happen even in relationships that agreed on everything at the beginning and had common goals, because people change all the time, and both partners don't always develop in the same direction.
2. Controlling behavior and attachment
What seemed like special affection at the beginning of the relationship sometimes turns out to be extreme dependency and need for control over time: Excessive jealousy, manipulative behavior and dependency are clear signs of this. Your relationship, so romantic at first, then becomes a burden that makes it impossible for you to live your own life. Such behavior can have many reasons and causes, some of which are easy to deal with. However, depending on how it manifests itself, it can soon become impossible for you as a partner to bear, and the seemingly dreamlike relationship becomes a nightmare from which the only option is to flee forward,
3. Poor communication
If you simply can't talk to each other, you won't be able to maintain a relationship in the long run. Unfortunately, you hardly notice this in the first phase of infatuation, because you still find everything about the other person irresistible. Only in the course of everyday life it turns out that serious and important topics are either not discussed at all or you always talk past each other. And bad communication unfortunately means in most cases a bad relationship, because a we-against-the-rest-of-the-world feeling builds on fruitful and purposeful talking to one another.
4. Unsatisfied essential needs
Everyone has their own needs that arise in a close and committed relationship. There are also common needs such as attention, respect, tenderness and time together, which every person needs more or less. To what extent and what exactly that looks like, that is quite individual for each person. But it is important that these needs are recognized and satisfied, because they are as important for love as food and oxygen are for the human body. If they are permanently neglected, a formerly good relationship will die like a stunted plant.
5. Diminishing attraction
Are you mourning the time when you couldn't keep your hands off each other? As beautiful as this phase is, it can't stand up to everyday life. If it went on and on, neither of you would be viable anymore, you wouldn't make any money, you wouldn't eat enough, and you would lose all your friends. So technically it’s a positive thing that intense initial attraction wears off. Still, it often feels like the irresistible partner becomes someone else in the long run when your own desire cools off, or almost worse, your partner's desire wanes before your own. For many partnerships, this waning attraction then means the end of the relationship, because it turns out that there wasn't much else there except desire.
6. Efforts wane
The more secure and comfortable a relationship becomes, the less effort you have to put into your partner. This can be very relaxing and take the pressure off both of you to constantly impress and surprise each other. However, the less effort you put into pleasing your partner, the more you take each other for granted, no more dates are planned, and you only see each other in sweatpants. Effort is only made for outsiders, and in the long run this can lead to the feeling that other people are more important. The resulting indifference towards the partner is the slow cooling of an actually very positive relationship.
7. Emotional ballast
The more previous relationship baggage you have, the more experiences you carry around with you. This emotional baggage can have an unnoticed impact on your current relationship. This happens when you repress disappointments, hurts and fears from previous relationships instead of dealing with them. Likewise, you may suffer from emotional baggage from a partner that you can't or don't want to endure permanently; it keeps coming up in your relationship even though it's not actually a problem of yours specifically, but is just projected onto your relationship. If this baggage is not realized and addressed, it will most likely squeeze any subsequent relationship sooner or later.
8. Lies and deceptions
Those who feel the need to tell lies and pretend are probably dissatisfied with themselves and in their own lives. Lack of self-esteem or great fear of rejection may be reasons. In a committed relationship, however, these lies shake the foundation, the trust, quite severely. An occasional, insignificant lie may be forgiven, but a basic attitude of dishonesty is something no one wants to accept in a relationship. Even great love is stifled by it, because without trust and reliability, it's simply not a good relationship that can withstand bad times.
9. Egoism from one or both sides
Of course, love is also about creating positive feelings for oneself. After all, no one enters into a relationship just out of pure charity. Your partner should make you happy, no question about it, but the other way around is just as true. You also have a responsibility to take care of your loved one. This includes backing down sometimes, making compromises, and often doing something completely selfless. If either or both of you are selfish on a regular basis, it will ruin the relationship. A selfish person has not realized how much joy comes from simply giving sometimes.
Today’s Conclusion
If two people do not fit together, no one can do anything about it and the relationship will dissolve sooner or later. But if the relationship killers are points that can be worked on together, because such an end to an otherwise good thing would be a shame. Always take a good look at what applies to you and whether you or your current partner could turn things around if you were more attentive and active in the relationship. That's it for today.