DO NOT Waste Time on People Who Do Not Deserve It!
We often find it difficult to cut people out of their lives, even though contact with them is harmful to us. A guilty conscience, the fear of being alone, and excuses from the difficult person are all factors which must be addressed. As a result, one's own self-esteem usually suffers. Relationships should be balanced in such a way that both sides experience love and recognition. If this is not the case, or if one person gives far more than he or she receives, it sometimes makes sense to sever such ties. Those who keep this in mind live happier lives. But what should you do about people who don't deserve you and from whom you'd be better off distancing yourself? Find out in this article.
1. The Continual Liar
You're naturally upset when you discover that someone lied to you. But while you can put that aside pretty quickly with a casual acquaintance or a work colleague, it hits you much harder when a loved one resorts to lying. This is because of the trust you invest in a close relationship and the expectation of being shown the same trust. But again, it depends on the extent and motivations of the liar. Small fibs or half-truths are usually not a big deal. They serve to avoid hurting others or to conceal things that one would rather keep to oneself. This includes, for example, the so-called white lies. The situation is different with lies that are told directly and unconsciously. So if you are sure you have been lied to by a friend or family member, confront them. His or her reaction will speak volumes. No one has to tolerate lies originating in bad motives. It's harmful to you in the long run and the trust you have in others.
2. Those Who Never Have Time for You
Especially nowadays, most people lack the time to really do everything. Family, house cleaning, friends, work, or study—all must be prioritized and scheduled. However, this does not prevent us from always investing time in the things that are really important to us. So if a person close to you never has time for you, you're probably not very high on their priority list. If this is the case, you should reciprocate and give your time to people who appreciate you. You show a loved one the most appreciation when you spend quality time with them, and everyone should receive the same. Otherwise, a friendship may fall off altogether, or you may only see each other once a year. But in return, you'll know the role you've played in each other's lives and be able to move on to other friendships.
3. The Egoist
A personal relationship consists of give and take. We do favors for others, we are attentive, and give of our time. However, we should also get this in return. However, there are always people who exploit this altruism for their own benefit and make unreasonable demands on you. In doing so, they satisfy their needs, but give nothing back in return. In the long run, this is stressful and draining. You end up feeling uncomfortable, hurt, and taken advantage of. If that’s the case, it’s high time to cut your losses and cut this person out of your life. Such relationships are not good for your self-esteem, and they take time away which could be better invested in a relationship with someone who appreciates you.
4. The Disinterested
With people, there is a difference between seeing a person and talking to them and really engaging with them. So you see a face and have a conversation, but you don't really pay attention to what's going on emotionally inside your counterpart. In the long run, such inattention destroys the relationship with each other because one part of it is not really understood. At this point, you need to consider whether this relationship is still important to you. If so, you should point out this hurtful behavior to the other person and explain how it makes you feel. If they still cares about you, they will make an effort to listen better. However, if this is not the case, they don’t deserve you and you should end this relationship. Especially in a partnership this can happen after the first infatuation has given way to everyday life. As soon as you notice this development, you should therefore actively counteract it.
5. The Dominator
In order to have your own space, you have to set boundaries. Boundaries will, in the course of your life, maintain and protect your self-esteem and personality, because unfortunately there are always people in your life who want to dominate and control you. This ranges from domineering parents, to domineering partners, to superiors who love to oppress and keep their employees down. In order not to lose yourself and your self-respect under such circumstances, it is important to set limits to your social environment. Boundaries ensure that no one can seriously hurt you, and they give you the basis to intervene if someone threatens to cross them. You must always remember that no one has the right to treat you disrespectfully or derogatorily.
6. The Untrustworthy
It seems that everyone has suffered from untrustworthy people, and such people have a negative effect on all of us. There are simply situations that overwhelm you and that you feel you can't handle on your own. Then you need a person by your side to build you up and support you. However, there are people you can't rely on, and that hurts your self-esteem. After all, if someone cares about you, they'll show up on time for appointments and be there for you when you're feeling down, instead of leaving you to solve you problem on your own. Just as we invest time in those we care about, we make it a point to stick to agreements with those same people. If your counterpart doesn't do that, you're probably not important enough to them. If that’s the case, you’ll be hurt, and you don't deserve such treatment.
Today’s Conclusion
What you can take away from this article is that you have to pay attention to yourself first and what’s good for you. Only then should you focus on the feelings and needs of others. Because even if other people are important to you, they may not show you the same level of appreciation that you show them. Then you will be taken advantage of, and both your self-esteem and your emotional integrity will be damaged. In addition, it is essential to rely on your gut feeling at such times and react accordingly if you no longer feel comfortable, or valued in your relationship with someone. That's it for today.