7 Interesting Facts You Should Know About Asexual People!
No desire for sex, no reason to panic. The term asexual has not been circulating in our common vocabulary for very long. Actually, we owe it to the intensive gender debate that topics such as diversity, trans-gender and also asexuality are being addressed. According to non-representative surveys, about 1% of respondents would describe themselves as asexual. Important to note that being an “ace,” so the official abbreviation, does not mean being in any way sick, impaired, perverted or strange. These people simply do not feel any desire for sexuality and are not physically attracted to either women or men, however, they do not perceive this circumstance as a lack or deprivation. They simply do not know it any other way. It tends to affect more women than men. Since asexuality is not a disease, disability or disorder, those affected want neither pity nor a special consideration. Generally, desire to have sex or not is ultimately still mainly a private matter and should be addressed between those people whom it affects, because contrary to popular belief, asexual people can have highly fulfilling partnerships. The prerequisite for this is an honest confrontation with the topic, mainly with respect to oneself. The following seven facts should therefore be understood by all people, not just asexuals.
1. Sexual intimacy? Why not?
Typically, asexual people can have intimate relationships. In principle, it’s just like any other erotic getting to know each other: Boundaries must first be defined and desires and no-go's communicated. Just as in any other sexual relationship, there are rules for asexuals that partners must accept, only in this way can the relationship succeed. Just because asexual people have less desire for sex than the average population does not mean that they cannot enjoy intimacy and eroticism. Their needs are certainly lower, or perhaps they prefer to play a certain role in the act of love, either actively or passively. But all this does not really distinguish their sexual life from that of those with a so-called normal appetite for sex. In any case, communication is the key to successful lived intimacy.
2. There is no "disorder"
Asexual people are no less or differently developed than their average sexually active contemporaries. They have usually experienced no traumas, had no bad or disturbing experiences with sexuality, and are likewise enlightened as far as physical love is concerned They find eroticism neither repulsive nor disgusting, nor do religious or moral concerns or restrictions play a role for asexuals. They have not consciously chosen to live without sex, as celibate people do, but are just naturally wired to have a sexual appetite less than that of most people.
3. Asexuality and celibacy are not the same thing
Celibacy is chosen voluntarily or is a mandatory part of a particular religious lifestyle. Either way. The women and men involved choose this path consciously, opting for a life without physical love. While asexuals usually get along well with their life beyond lust, according to surveys, a not insignificant proportion of celibate women and men repeatedly struggle with this decision. So not feeling lust and not wanting to feel lust are two very different scenarios.
4. Some "aces" maintain romantic relationships
The importance of sexuality in a partnership is ideally defined by both parties together. If it is already clear at the beginning of a new love affair that one half or perhaps even both do not feel a pronounced desire for erotic togetherness, nothing stands in the way of a happy ending. Just as all boundaries of personal intimacy must be preserved and respected, the same applies to asexual feelings. However, things become problematic when those affected cannot or do not want to talk about it for fear of scaring away their partner. The situation becomes even more explosive if the asexuals themselves do not know why they are actually the way they are. Women in particular tend to always look for the so-called fault in themselves first. They are then more quickly seen as cold, frigid and listless. The better informed we as a society are about this issue, the better relationships we can have in the future. In this context, we should also consider the many homosexual people who still enter heterosexual relationships, for whatever reason. Sometimes friendships are so strong that they provide a good enough basis for such a marriage or partnership. Sometimes, however, there is still the fear of social stigma that makes living out one's actual sexual orientation seem impossible.
5. Some "aces" prefer to stay single
Asexuality is not infrequently accompanied by aromanticism; those affected have no interest in entering into relationships of any kind. These people not only feel no desire for sexuality, but also have no need for so-called platonic partnerships. Those who always considered long-term singles with a pitying view should give up that perception. These individuals might be aromatic asexuals, completely satisfied with their situation, living in sole rule over the remote control and allowed to call their home their own.
6. Asexuality is a form of sexual orientation
Just as we humans can't choose whether we love men or women, we don't have much control over how much we desire intimacy and eroticism. Asexuality is practically born into us and therefore cannot be readjusted.
7. It’s all good!
Probably the most important message related to asexuality is that this form of sexual orientation is just as good as any other. In view of the over-sexualization that movies, TV and the internet try to impose on us as normal, it may be difficult for those affected to accept their being different for what it is. A factual and objective discussion about this topic is therefore highly recommended and important, so that nobody has to feel pushed into a corner. Asexuals have exactly the same right to exist in the human erotic spectrum as heterosexuals or homosexuals and all varieties in between.
Our conclusion: It is what it is
The rainbow, as we know, is not black and white, but features a colorful palette of colors that delight us with their brilliance. It is therefore not for nothing the symbol of the LQBT movement, which has come to refer to a multitude of presences. The asexuals still find too little acceptance there; it almost seems that they are the minority among the minorities. Nevertheless, asexuals are among us and communicate their lifestyle sometimes more, sometimes less openly to their fellow men. Not everyone who lives alone or goes through life as a permanent single needs to be pitied for it. If the bold enlightenment movement of recent years has taught us one thing, it is that there is a place on this planet for every form of sexual orientation. Those who are not willing to share this opinion are probably still living under a rock.