You Can Do THIS if You Feel Lonely or Alone!

Each and every one of us will know loneliness at some point or another. The most treacherous thing about it is that you don’t have to be alone to feel its cold grip on your arm. The worst kind is definitely when you’re in a relationship or have a family and you still feel alone and misunderstood.

You don't have to be alone to be lonely, and you don't have to end up lonely if you are alone. The main difference between these emotional states is the answer to the question, “How do you feel?”. Although Me Time can be a great gift, and some people just can't get enough of it, real loneliness can lead to bad thoughts, isolation, and sometimes even depression.

Being alone and real loneliness are rarely the same thing. In this article, we're going to put the two together and show you a few things that might help if you don't want to go through life as a lone wolf anymore.

1. Invest in experiences, not things

If you have to spend money, then try to get the most out of it. There are smart investments and pointless ones. We usually use the latter to compensate for something or to bring us a fleeting moment of happiness. One of the strange things about people who are successful but unhappy in their job, is their full closet, and their scarily empty bank account. Shopping only selectively helps with loneliness.

The small talk you exchange while shopping is superficial and will barely make a difference to your heart and your soul. So, you're better off spending your money on experiences that you can have with other people, experiences that will bring you out of your shell a little bit. You could take a group day trip.

Don't worry, we're not talking about a pensioners only coach trip. There are so many things to choose from, like something based on your interests, a gourmet weekend, or a classic singles trip. Why not start with a guided day trip to the opera or to a newly opened museum?

Educational institutes frequently offer guided tours to galleries or visits to artists’ workshops. If you're more into sports, you could join a gym and take classes there, you'd meet people with similar interests. Doing things on your own does take some overcoming, but it's worth it two or three times over in most cases.

The special advantage of this type of contact initiation is that you can kind of choose what type of people you want to meet in advance. However, don't be surprised if you go to the opera or a cultural event and the number of single women is dramatically high and the number of men who are seemingly attending alone is soberingly low.

2. Get in touch

Loneliness can also happen with the passing of time. People drift apart, life takes in completely different directions, and sometimes people even move away. But that said, we live in a time where Facebook and Twitter and the like make it very easy to get back in touch, and at least have an online connection again. The beauty of true friendship is that it doesn't matter how often you manage to talk or see each other.

The bridge will never be burnt and getting back in touch is usually a win-win for you both. Just be aware that your lives might have changed in the meantime, and you might not have so much in common as you used to do. But that doesn't matter at all. Before loneliness has a chance to take hold, pay careful attention to the stories you hear in the office or at day-care.

If you were friends before you can be friends again. Even after months, or even years, of radio silence, you’ll still be able to find things to talk about.

3. Learn something new

Whether it's baking vegan goodies, bungee jumping, embroidery or playing the harmonica, your hidden talents are just waiting for you to wake them up. Our brains are always on the lookout for new knowledge. Lifelong learning also does a great job of protecting you against premature cognitive decline.

If you want to do something good for your mind, body, and soul at the same time, learn a new sport. You could start with yoga or meditation. That way, you have the distinct advantage again of being able to meet people that share your interests. If you find it hard to leave your safe isolated space, then start with a single evening class or attend a lecture. There, you won't be alone, but you won't have to do anything either if you don't want to or you don't feel comfortable to.

Cooking classes, or anything creative, are guaranteed to be fun. You will have to force a bit of interaction with other people if you do this but pushing yourself like that is actually necessary to stop the loneliness from eating away at you.

4. Get out into nature

Nature is a proven remedy for many physical and psychological complaints, but it's also good for loneliness. If you have the chance, spend at least one hour a day out in the fresh air. You can go for a steady walk, sit on a park bench and enjoy the sun, or obviously you could do some kind of sport. Fresh air, sunlight, and movement all have such a positive effect on our mood.

If you meet someone, it's really easy to approach them in a friendly and offhand way. Children and dogs, for example, are ideal icebreakers for sparking up a conversation with a stranger. Older people are usually especially grateful for a nice chat. This way you’ll get the benefit of socializing without the stress of any kind of commitment.

5. Become a volunteer

A perfect opportunity to nip loneliness in the bud and do something good at the same time is voluntary work. Almost any charity you can think of is desperately searching for volunteers. No matter where your talents and abilities lie, there will be something for you. This is another way in which you get the opportunity to decide beforehand what type of people you want to let into your life, and how intense it will be.

If you help out in a soup kitchen once a week, this will definitely be lower intensity than if you work a hotline desk a few times a week where you give people space to openly share their pain and suffering. Doing good and meeting like-minded people is surely the best way to climb out of that dark pit of loneliness.

Today’s Conclusion: Together, you can fight loneliness

Even if you’re one of those people who can already make the most of their Me Time, the line between vaccine and pure poison, here, is very fine. The difference lies in the dosage. There’s nothing to say you can’t remain the king or queen of your own castle. It only matters how you feel. If you can enjoy being alone in your own space to the fullest, then consider yourself lucky.

If, on the other hand, you keep getting the feeling that you’re not good enough or somehow inadequate, and you’re trying to engage the person dropping off your mail in hour-long conversations, then it’s high time to take action. That’s all for today.