Stop THAT! THIS Is Extremely Off-Putting to Other People!
The way we go through life determines whether we do so alone or in good company. It is up to us whether we appear sociable and helpful, friendly and attentive, or whether we erect a wall of envy and resentment around us. The effect, however, is immediate. If you don't want to spend the rest of your days in involuntary solitary confinement, you need to work on yourself. We always attract what we put out. In the interpersonal sphere, as we call into the forest, so it echoes back. For the time being, however, it would be enough if you would refrain from a few unpleasant habits.
1. You judge others at lightning speed
Pigeonholing people in the blink of an eye is not only not a nice trait. In the vast majority of cases, the result isn't right at all. Just because someone looks different, dresses differently, or has a completely different lifestyle than you, doesn't automatically mean it's bad. Why ever you think you are the moral authority in life and everything that goes with it, stop it. It's none of your business how other people spend their time or how they look. Rash judging is an ugly habit that will definitely not win you any friends. Besides, there's no faster way down the wrong path than prejudice.
2. Your feelings are in control of you and not the other way around
People don't like to be confronted with the personal dramas and emotional lapses of their peers without any warning. This has nothing to do with a lack of sympathy or empathy, but with simple basic rules of common decency. How do others come to listen to your heartbreak and self-doubt or your conflicts at work? Tears and tantrums and fits of hysteria are definitely not the right way to win the hearts of your fellow humans. First, each of them has enough of their own battles to fight and endure. Second, most people find such emotional outbursts downright unpleasant. They are embarrassed and don't know how to deal with so much indiscretion.
3. You are and will always be the victim
Those who cannot refrain from bathing in self-pity will bathe alone for the rest of their lives. You can hang this unwritten law up somewhere clearly visible. Nobody likes the eternal victims who constantly want to gain sympathy with their recurring and tearful stories. As if in an endless loop, they keep rehashing the same lame stories from days long gone. Most of the people around them circle them wholesale and avoid the perpetual victims like the plague. Their whining is not only highly exhausting, it also testifies to the fact that these people are in no way willing to face their own responsibility of their lives. Constantly shifting the blame onto others or some unfortunate circumstance is a childish and selfish view of life that will never allow one to move forward.
4. Egoism
It is absolutely recommended in small doses if you want to get through life well and confidently. However, if healthy egoism gets out of hand and becomes an all-consuming ego trip that has no regard for anything or anyone, things look different. The true team players among us may sometimes fall short, but they will never be left out in the cold. The egoists among us, however, will soon notice that at the peak of vanity there is not only little oxygen, but above all few other people. Those who constantly have only their own advantage in mind and do not shy away from collateral damage to achieve this, will have to eke out their existence lonely and deserted. Their will then comes first forever. Nevertheless, it’s a weak consolation.
5. Your negativity is toxic and ever-present
At least as bad as judging and wallowing in self-pity is chronic nagging and criticizing. If you are one of these eternally dissatisfied spirits, you will have to haunt your life alone forever. Just think for a second how exhausting it must be to be around people who are constantly showered with nothing but negativity. People who just can't stop looking for the fly in every soup do harm with their constant verbal attacks, but not only to their social life. Chronic aggravation makes people ill in the long run. Not only psychologically, but out of a deep conviction to find everything corrosive and horrible can actually manifest itself physically over the years.
6. Envy eats away at you
It is indeed not a nice characteristic and speaks volumes about one's own self-esteem. Feeling the yellow poison of envy within ourselves and carrying it outward makes us appear to be an unsympathetic, even evil person in a matter of seconds. It is only a stone's throw from envy to schadenfreude. No wonder, then, that no one wants to have such people around, who would not begrudge others their good fortune or even wish them bad luck instead. Envy can also be literally written all over our faces as the years go by. The constant anger in our stomachs literally makes our bile boil over, which turns our skin a yellowish green. That's no way to become a human magnet, guaranteed.
7. You take everything way too personal
And "last but not least", too much consternation is a sure tool for confidently putting one's fellow human beings on edge. Anyone who links every negative event, up to and including continuous rain or snowfall, with their own person is not only emotionally unbalanced, but is obviously also struggling with a perception problem. The earth does not revolve around individual people. No one is so important that all the evil of this world gathers around a single person, even if that person feels that way.
Today's Conclusion: Together or alone? You decide
The majority of us have control over how our lives will turn out. How we behave and appear to others decides almost immediately whether we are perceived as a welcome guest or as a human landmine. If you have problems in dealing with people, you are the lowest common denominator. It's up to you, not everyone else. That's it for today.