Only Immature People Say THIS! Do YOU?

“You are acting immature! That's childish! That was very immature of you!” When it comes to criticizing our fellow human beings on their emotional maturity, we are sometimes a bit hasty to judge. If you would describe your own character as balanced, mature and reflective, you should pay particular attention to this article because, contrary to what you might think, our personal maturity does not automatically increase with each passing year. In other words, just because you might  already be in your forties, doesn't necessarily mean that you're more calm and relaxed towards those around you compared to a twenty year old. Your degree of emotional maturity is not determined primarily by your age, but rather by how you behave in certain situations.

Today: Mature people avoid these six sentences

In this article we would like to present six exemplary sentences that you will never hear a mature person say.

1. "Whatever!" 

"Oh, it doesn't matter!" This phrase is often used by immature people to end a deadlocked discussion. However, this statement represents the worst possible outcome of a dispute. With this sentence, all previous statements and arguments are made null and void. In fact, people whose character isn't as mature as they think it is tend to use this statement as a kind of verbal escape. If you end the conversation by saying you don't care, you avoid admitting personal mistakes or apologizing for something you said. At the same time, it gives the other person the feeling that you don't take any of their statements to heart and don’t reflect on them openly. Emotionally mature people listen to the arguments of others with an open mind and attentively, even if these arguments do not reflect their own beliefs.

2. "I don't feel like it."

All of us probably know this feeling. An annoying everyday life task which doesn't suit us at all needs to be done. A statement of not wanting to do something or go to an event tells us a lot about someone’s emotional maturity. If this vocalized reluctance goes as far as finding an excuse for not doing something against one's better will, this is a prime example of emotional immaturity, as adults with good character are aware of their duties and responsibilities at all times. Of course, mature people also experience phases in which they would rather put their feet up instead of cleaning their apartment, working on an urgent job, or devoting themselves to other everyday life demands. The difference, however, is that they place their displeasure in the overall context and know what the consequences of being comfortably idle would be. Greater time pressure, a guilty conscience, an avoidably hectic pace. For these reasons, they tackle the tasks at hand without much grumbling, because they are aware of how much they will benefit from it in the end.

3. "Can't you do this yourself?"

Imagine the following situation: Your partner asks you to post a letter for them. If your first impulse is to ask your counterpart why they couldn't do it themself, you haven’t showed great emotional maturity. As soon as you put your dissatisfaction with the request made of you into words, this can have greater consequences than you might initially think. In fact, your counterpart might get the impression that helpfulness is foreign to you, or that you are simply too lazy to do a small favor. You must not forget: If it had been possible for them to do the task themself, they would have already done so. They have reached out to you with his request because they need help, which they hope to receive from you. Of course, you are not obliged to relieve your partner of every task imaginable if your own everyday life schedule does not allow it. But in this case you should explain objectively and calmly why, unfortunately, you have to refuse their request. The snippy answer: "Can't you do it yourself?" comes across as childish and immature. Over time, it can even cause the other person to lose some of their trust in you. 

4. "Shut up!"

You have more than likely had a discussion at some point where facts and reason were left behind long ago. Due to the boiling, perhaps even insulting emotions spewing from the other person, you probably wished that your agitated counterpart would finally shut up. So you likely said this to their face, but what you probably didn't realize in that moment was that "Shut up!" sounds disproportionately harsh. There's nothing wrong with the fact that you want to end a heated argument, but it depends on how you vocalize this desire. Do you give the other person a rude "Shut up!" to their face? If you do, they will probably not calm down and take the opportunity to critically question their own statements, but will rather get further worked up with emotional rage. Mature people keep a cool head even in heated situations and politely but firmly ask to end the conversation.

5. “Never!” - "Always!"

“You never have time for me! I always have to cook!” The use of the words "never" and "always" has a greater impact on everyday interactions than you might think at first glance. There are various reasons for this. First of all, these formulations seem like absolute Statements. Also, you push the other person into a defensive attitude, as these statements can easily be taken as accusations. In essence, however, it is about making your own needs understandable. Emotionally mature people know this, and therefore choose formulations such as "I hope that we can do something nice together again" or "I would be very happy if you could cook us something delicious".

6. "You're not my mother!" 

The exclamation “You are not my mother” may at first seem like a disarming argument. In truth, however, you are ascribing yourself the position of an immature child with this statement. As soon as someone’s all too frequent tips and suggestions for improvement become too much for you, you should explain this in a thoughtful and understandable way.  In addition, this statement unintentionally hurts your counterpart. You are also accusing them of undermining your status as an independent, self-determined person. Our conclusion today: Did you recognize yourself in some of these statements? Before you start reflecting on the maturity of your own personality, you should keep in mind that the external circumstances surrounding such sentences and their frequency in your everyday life should not be ignored. It's not about judging yourself, but rather about gaining more insight into your character so that you can grow in the future. That's it for today.