6 Simple Habits for More Emotional Intelligence!
Perhaps you've reacted to something in such a way that you felt sorry about it afterwards? Maybe it was just a snide remark, or you had harsh words with your parents, a friend, or a colleague. But it's such anger and stress that give us an opportunity for honest self-assessment and help us grow emotionally to develop and achieve a higher level of emotional intelligence. In this article, we’ll introduce you to 6 things that contribute to the development of emotional intelligence. Let's start by clarifying the question: what is emotional intelligence? It is the ability to perceive, evaluate, and control one's own emotions. Most emotionally intelligent people have a high degree of empathy and compassion for others. At the same time, they know that their own well-being must always come first. So how is it possible to increase one's emotional intelligence? While some people have significantly more emotional intelligence than others, it is not some sort of innate talent, but rather a learnable skill that anyone can train themselves to have. Now let's move on to the tips.
1. Stay calm and take a deep breath.
A heated debate can sometimes lead you to react impulsively and without thinking. What follows is often regret on one side and disappointment on the other. Most often, such impulsive moments result from not understanding our own feelings. In order for us to succeed, we need to give ourselves a moment. Tracking down our emotions requires that we identify them as such in the first place. In order to understand them, we must even find our way back to the source of the emotion. This sometimes requires that you confront yourself with the difficulties you may be having in dealing with others. Your hasty reaction to your counterpart's statement or to an event may very well be due to hidden thought structures in your subconscious. If you learn to observe and understand your own feelings, you will be able to empathize with those of other people much better.
2. Strengthening your own empathy.
Self-awareness and the ability to control your own feelings gives you a high level of empathy. While people with high IQs have a good chance of understanding the emotions of others, responding or reacting to someone appropriately requires, above all, good empathy. For example, if a colleague lashes out at you in some way, or attempts to bully you, you can only respond appropriately if you can empathize with him to some extent. Yelling or hitting back would be the most counterproductive behavior imaginable. Empathy, it should be emphasized here, does not mean that you accept the inappropriate behavior of the other person. It may be that you first convey such a feeling, but if he does not change his behavior quickly, you should reprimand him calmly but very firmly.
3. Listen carefully and ask questions.
Once you discover how to be in tune with your own emotions, you will be better able to engage with others. Intelligent people usually succeed at this with active listening. Let's face it: during a normal conversation, we just wait for a gap in the other person's speech, so that we can finally take over the conversation ourselves. People with high emotional intelligence act somewhat differently, because their goal is to really understand the other person, which requires reading between the lines. This means that you should sometimes endure pauses in order to wring a follow-up sentence out of the other person. A good way to show the other person that you are really listening to him is to ask him appropriate questions.
4. You can't communicate without self-awareness.
Communication is much more than just talking to each other; anyone who talks on the phone or in a chat room a lot knows that. There are so many non-verbal forms of expression, such as body language, which is usually unmistakable, or facial expressions. Without them, we can't register emotions properly. This is where yoga, meditation, or even just keeping a diary can help us, because they all strengthen our self-reflection. In doing so, we are forced to ask ourselves what we are feeling at the moment, or what we have learned from a situation.
5. Be the manager of your own emotions.
If you have succeeded in becoming clear about your own emotions and their origin, you will also be able to actively manage them at any time. However, this requires a high level of cognitive activity. You can expect this process to be even more demanding than the self-awareness just mentioned. Keep in mind that it is our emotions that largely control our attention and reactions. Incidentally, our emotions are strongly involved in cognitive functions such as making decisions, solving problems, our ability to learn, and our memory. Conversely, this means that by taking control of your emotions, you'll get better access to all those cognitive functions, which will make you much more productive as a result. But first, you should understand the strict differentiation between managing your emotions and repressing them. If the latter happens consciously, we call it suppression. In this case, your mind is trying to ignore your feelings. Self-management, on the other hand, is a process of taking stock of your emotions and their impact on your state of mind, so that you become aware of what you are feeling at the moment and what you intend to do with those feelings. Both self-awareness and self-management form a common basis for the development of emotional intelligence, or how we use our emotional intelligence.
6. Accurate formulations are crucial.
People who have a high level of emotional intelligence not only understand their own emotions, but can also express what they are feeling very accurately and appropriately. Let's look at a simple example. You've just had a terrible day at work. You're frustrated, stressed, and very upset. One way to deal with this is to do some cursing and slamming of doors in your apartment. That might lead into an argument with your partner, and be accompanied by passive aggressive discussion of tomorrow’s project with him or her. It is much better to perhaps have a drink with your partner and calmly reveal your current feelings to him or her by discussing them.
Today’s Conclusion
In fact, emotional intelligence is an extraordinarily helpful device. With a little practice, patience, and a lot of self-reflection, you can soon acquire the art of controlling your own emotions and correctly assessing those of other people. That's it for today.